Page 81 of Calling on the Matchmaker
Her chest was achingly silent, her heart refusing to beat. “Why?” The word slipped out before she realized it.
Her da stared at the sheet in his hands. “He said he loves youbut that he can’t bargain for you or push you into marriage if you’re resisting it. He’ll have you freely or not at all.”
Freely or not at all.
She pressed her fist against her mouth to hold back the cry that needed release. Riley had done this for her. Even though she’d stopped fighting against the match, he’d known that she hadn’t wanted marriage, that she was just going along with the plans out of obligation to him and to her family.
He’d told her once that he wouldn’t marry her unless she was willing. And even though she’d told him she was willing, apparently he decided her acquiescence wasn’t enough. He wanted more from her than she’d offered.
Her da cleared his throat. “Riley said you have your heart set on joining the Sisters of Charity convent, and that we shouldn’t deny you the opportunity.”
Finola closed her mouth, opened it, but then closed it again. Riley hadn’t just given her freedom, he was giving her what she’d always wanted—the chance to enter the convent. He must have written it in his letter to her da, had so easily communicated her wishes. If only she could learn from Riley to do the same.
Maybe people wouldn’t always listen to her. But why should she let that stop her from expressing herself more clearly and directly?
“I’m sorry, Finola.” Her da’s shoulders slumped even lower. “Maybe we should have let you enter the convent all along instead of trying to find a husband for you.”
“You were doing what you believed was best for me.”
“And is the convent best?” Her da looked up and met her gaze levelly.
Was it? For so long, she’d thought she knew what she wanted, thought the convent with its orderliness was the only place she’d ever be truly happy. She’d even convinced herself that Riley’s recklessness would be too hard to cope with.
But as her da held her gaze, the questions in his eyes sent doubt spiraling through her. One swirled faster and more turbulently than all the others. How much did she care about Riley? And could she give him up forever? How would she live with herself if she let Riley walk out of her life?
Because the truth was—the truth that she hadn’t wanted to acknowledge—she cared about him much more than she should.
At her silence, her da began to fold the slip of paper. “Very well, Finola. I’ll arrange a meeting with the Mother Superior for later today to begin the process.”
“No.” Enya pushed back the covers and sat straight up.
Da jerked back a step, obviously not having paid attention to the bed behind Finola closely enough to realize another person was there.
“No,” Enya said again, this time more forcefully. “Finola cares about Riley Rafferty but is just too scared to admit it.”
“Enya?” Da’s voice cracked, and he pressed a hand over his heart.
She climbed out of bed and stood at the edge, beside Finola. “Hi, Da.” Her hands trembled, and she clasped them together.
He raked his gaze over her, taking in her tear-streaked cheeks and wrinkled garments. “You’re unharmed?”
“Aye.”
Without another word, he started toward her, his stride long and hard. When he reached her, he grabbed both arms, searched her again, and then dragged her into an embrace. “Oh, sweet blessed mother, you’re home.”
The relief in his voice was so tangible, it brought swift tears to Finola’s eyes. Enya couldn’t hold back her tears either. Or her sobs. One escaped, followed by another, until she was weeping quietly in his arms. “I’m sorry, Da. I’m sorry.” She said the words over and over while he clung to her and kissed the top of her head.
Finola’s throat ached with the need to weep. Their family wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t even close to perfect. But they stuck together through all the difficulties of life. No matter their mistakes. No matter their faults. No matter the challenges.
They had each other and loved each other. It was something special. And maybe it was time for her to finally see that. And admit that Riley was special too.
He might have given up on her. But she wasn’t sure she was ready to let him go.
27
Riley’s feet slipped on the hand-split wood shingles of the barn roof. But he grabbed on to the ridge of the gable and steadied himself as he homed in on the black-and-white cat crouched at the edge.
“Come here, cat.”
