Page 79 of Calling on the Matchmaker
“I hope you’ll finally give yourself permission to love a man, Finola.” Enya’s eyes brimmed with tears.
Enya’s words echoed Riley’s. For so long she’d denied herself the idea of marriage and family. Was it possible to change the way she viewed her life?
“And maybe—” Enya’s voice cracked—“just maybe, he’ll be someone who will love you enough in return to stay with you.”
Finola’s first thought was of Riley. But then as Enya’s eyes squeezed shut and tears slipped out, Finola reached up and cupped Enya’s cheek gently. “There, now. Tell me all about it.”
Enya leaned into her hand but didn’t open her eyes. “Bryan left me for the gold fields of California.” Enya’s whisper was laced with heartbreak and regret.
Even as anger reared up inside Finola at a man who would leave behind a new bride, she pushed it down. Enya didn’t need her to belittle and berate Bryan. She’d likely done enough of that herself. Right now, Enya needed her to listen and offer comfort.
“I’m sorry, Enya,” she whispered, taking her turn to stroke Enya’s cheek and hair. “You’ll miss him then, to be sure.”
Her sister’s eyes flew open and flashed with the sparks Finolawas used to seeing there. “Oh no, I won’t miss him. I told him if he left, I never wanted to see him again.”
“And what did he say?”
“He said that was fine, that he didn’t want to see me again either.” Her expression hardened, and she pressed her lips together. “He ignored my love and walked away.”
Finola squirmed at the realization she’d done the same thing to Riley just last night when he’d spoken of his love.“Ihave loved you as I have no one else, and I’ve only wanted you and nothing else.”
She’d ignored it and walked away from him, had wanted to block it out and pretend he’d never spoken of love. In fact, she’d done her best not to think on his love all night long.
But now, the passion in his words returned to her with a force that took her breath away—with a wee bit of fear and wonder. Did she dare consider that he loved her enough to overlook her past mistakes?
She twisted the claddagh ring he’d given her on the day they’d eaten the gander. She traced the hands clasped together, the heart, the crown. Friendship, love, loyalty. He’d offered all three to her over and over again. But she hadn’t done the same with him, even though he’d proven that he deserved it all, and more.
In some ways she’d been as callous as Bryan, maybe even more so.
“I don’t think he really loved me to begin with.” Enya’s whisper ended on the note of a sob.
Finola pushed the thoughts of Riley from her mind. She couldn’t dwell on him or their relationship at the moment. She had to focus on Enya, who was heartbroken that her husband had chosen to leave her for the lure of gold rather than to stay and love her.
Again, Finola gathered her sister in her arms. Enya’s tears flowed once more, but this time with a bitter edge. She swipedat her cheeks as though to wipe away all feelings for her husband. Then she drew in a shuddering breath and spoke in an anguished voice. “I’m pregnant.”
Finola froze. She mentally calculated the amount of time Enya had been married. Had it been three weeks? Maybe four at the most? Certainly, she could be pregnant in that short of time. But how would she know it already?
“It’s rather soon to assume you’re in the family way, isn’t it?”
“No.” Enya paused and drew in a breath, as though to fortify herself. “I’m late for my courses. And I’m never late, always early.”
Finola scrambled to make sense of what Enya was telling her. Was it possible Enya had intimate relations with Bryan before they were wed?
Words of admonition swelled up within Finola. Mam and Da had taught them better than that. And Da, with all his rules regarding courtship, had worked so hard to keep them chaste and out of a situation like this.
“I can see what you’re thinking,” Enya whispered. “And no, I told Bryan I wouldn’t—well, sleep with him before we were married even though he wanted me to.”
Finola pursed her lips together to keep from saying something unholy about Bryan. Clearly, the man had cared about Enya only for what he could take from her. Once he’d had his fill, he decided to move on.
“Oh, Finola.” Enya’s voice wavered. “I was wrong about him. And now it’s too late.”
A knock sounded on the bedroom door, startling them both.
“Finola?” came the muffled voice of their da from the hallway.
Enya’s grip tightened upon Finola. “Don’t tell Da anything.”
Finola hesitated. Enya wouldn’t be able to hide her failed marriage and pregnancy for long. Wouldn’t Da find out everything eventually?
