Page 61 of Calling on the Matchmaker
He pulled in a deep breath and pushed himself up, not wanting anyone to see him in his desperate state.
Bellamy stood beside him, gripping his arm. “What’s going on here, Riley?” As several other men started to approach, Bellamy waved them away.
Riley closed his eyes. “I love her, Bellamy.”
“I know.” Bellamy’s answer was gentle.
Riley waited for the matchmaker to rebuke him for refusing to trust him and giving up on Finola and turning to Oscar. But Bellamy only squeezed his arm.
“I’ve never loved another woman the same way I love her.” Since he was confessing, he might as well tell Bellamy the whole truth. He hadn’t known just how much he loved her until he spoke the words. “And I’ve lost her.”
“Nothing is ever lost unless you let it be.”
“What does that mean?” He was too weak, too dizzy, too tired to solve Bellamy’s riddles.
“Win her back.” Bellamy’s tone remained sincere, and his eyes brimmed with encouragement.
Riley wanted to hang on to Bellamy’s instructions and the reassurance, and for just a moment he had the sense that Bellamy was an ally. Maybe with a little more experience, the young man would make a good matchmaker after all.
“Listen now, Riley. I picked you for Finola Shanahan because I believed you out of any other man could break through her defenses and win her heart.”
Riley pressed his fist into the painful spasm in his gut. “No offense, my friend, but you were wrong.”
“I also picked you because of all the men I knew, you would have the courage and determination to fight for her.”
The pain in his stomach started to double him over. “That’s where you’re also wrong, Bellamy. I already fought to keep one woman. And all my fighting only drove her to a watery grave.”
Before Bellamy could respond, Riley made a dash for the privy. When he stumbled out a short while later, Bellamy was leaning against the back of the pub waiting for him.
The matchmaker’s expression said that he’d already guessed what was ailing Riley. “Bother it.” Riley paused, weak and shaking. “I’ve got cholera.”
21
Finola paused in her packing and pressed a hand to her chest to ward off the ache that wouldn’t abate.
She sat back on her heels and fought against the taunting in her mind. This time it wasn’t a baby’s cry echoing there. It was Riley’s anguished words at their parting.“Say it. Say that you don’t care for me and don’t want to be with me. If you say it, I’ll walk awayand never come back.”
She’d said it even though she hadn’t meant it because she needed him to break things off between them. Aye, it was exactly the ploy she’d been waiting for, the one thing that would drive him away.
And it worked.
He left and hadn’t returned. Not during the two days since he’d ridden away.
She glanced at the slant of the winter sunshine that filtered past the draperies. It was already well past noon, the time Winston had planned to leave for the country, and she still wasn’t ready.
Winston had wanted to leave yesterday, but she had convinced him to let her have one more day, making the case thatshe couldn’t simply disappear without explaining to the Sisters of Charity as well as the immigrants where she was going.
Winston hadn’t been pleased about the delay, but he’d allowed it. She suspected he’d done so because he was anxious for Riley to return and didn’t want to have to explain to her da the match had failed.
And what about her? Had she been procrastinating with the hope Riley would show up and plead with her to marry him anyway? And if he did, what would she do?
She fingered the claddagh ring she’d forgotten to give back to him. She ought to take it off. But she hadn’t been able to make herself do so. Not yet.
“No, Finola Shanahan.” She snatched one of her shawls from the bed and tossed it on top of the other garments in the trunk. “You made a vow to enter the convent, and you’ll be keeping your vows, that you will.”
When her da found out about the broken match, he’d be disappointed, to be sure. But he’d also realize she was a hopeless cause, and he’d have no choice but to allow her to join the Sisters of Charity. If she was lucky, he’d even be the one to suggest it, and she wouldn’t have to bring up the subject for herself.
And aye, she still wanted to join the Sisters of Charity. She wouldn’t abandon the women there or the plans she’d made. Even if she started to have second thoughts—which she wouldn’t—she couldn’t forget that Riley deserved a better wife and mother of his children than her. She had to do this for him.
