Page 51 of Calling on the Matchmaker
Finola gripped the seat of the park bench to keep from bending closer to Riley as he knelt in front of her and unlaced her skate. The magnetism of his presence, one glance at his handsome profile, even the pressure of his fingers through her skate shifted the air in her lungs, making each breath feel heavy.
She’d been aware of him all throughout their skating expedition, from the ride to the pond to their drinking of the apple cider and everything in between. But somehow, since the moment he’d chased her and wrapped his arms around her from behind, she’d been intensely attuned to him and his every move.
They’d only skated for a little while after that. He hadn’t touched her or made a move to kiss her again, but the air had remained charged with something she couldn’t begin to name. Attraction? Desire? Need?
The very remembrance of his lips caressing her neck sent a pleasurable shudder through her.
“I kept you out too long.” His voice was tinged with worry. He obviously thought her shudder was from the cold and didn’t realize it was one of desire. For him.
“I’m fine.” Was she fine, though? Because the more time she spent with him, the more she wanted to forget all about her vow and the need to stay away from having a husband and children so that she didn’t hurt anyone else.
He tugged off the first skate and then began unlacing the second.
She shouldn’t have gone skating with him, should have told him she needed a day to rest at home. But when he’d suggested taking a ride in his new gig, she hadn’t been able to say no. Riley Rafferty was one persuasive man, and his charm difficult to resist.
Besides, her da had asked her to take the outing, and with how haggard he’d become since Enya’s disappearance, she wanted to make him happy instead of causing him more grief.
Which was why she was still avoiding putting an end to the match with Riley. But she had to soon. Not only was Shrove Tuesday drawing ever nearer, but she wasn’t being fair to Riley. Although today was the first time he’d initiated physical contact with her, she’d sensed his interest and his attraction every single day, and she couldn’t drag out their relationship any longer.
She had to put distance back between them for the rest of their time together. She drew in a breath and then forced formality to her tone. “Thank you for taking me skating.”
“I’m glad we could go.” His fingers on her laces stalled, and shadows fell over his features. “It’s been a few years since I’ve gone.”
Why had it been a few years, and why did the remembrance of past skating make him sad? Her thoughts whirred for an answer and landed on only one. “You came skating here with your wife, didn’t you?” Her question came out tentative, and she prayed she wasn’t overstepping herself by bringing up such a tender topic.
He picked at a knot in her laces. “I proposed marriage to her here.”
“It must be hard to be back since it holds special memories.” Her resolution from only moments ago to keep her distance from Riley evaporated all too easily. She couldn’t ignore him while he was being vulnerable in sharing something about his wife, could she?
“She told me no.”
“What? She did?”
“I got down on one knee in the middle of the pond and asked her to be my wife. She skated away without a word.”
Apparently, the place held only painful memories. “I’m sorry for asking, Riley.”
“She wasn’t as enthusiastic about marriage as I was.” Although he tried for a note of humor, the pain was still there nonetheless.
Finola couldn’t remember ever seeing Helen with Riley. In fact, she couldn’t picture Helen at all. Maybe she’d never met the woman. What had she been like?
“Obviously, I didn’t take no for an answer.” He stared back toward the pond. “I spent the rest of the time while we skated trying to convince her of all the reasons why we should get married. A week later, she finally agreed.”
“She loved you enough to marry you in spite of her reservations?”
“No. She discovered she was with child.”
“Oh my.” Finola flushed at the implications.
Riley bowed his head. “I’m not proud of what happened, and I think the guilt is probably what drove me to propose. Even so, I shouldn’t have pushed her into the marriage.”
Riley had shared intimacies with another woman. A woman who had become his wife. The idea of him kissing and touching anyone else sent a twinge of protest through her. “Did you love her?” As soon as the question was out, she shook herhead. “Of course you did. And ’tis none of my business, to be sure.”
His felt hat was tipped sideways, and she had the urge to straighten it. More than that, she wanted to take it off and drag her fingers through his hair.
As soon as the urge flitted through her head, she clasped her hands together tightly to keep from doing something so impulsive ... and possessive.
Finally he lifted his head and let her see the tragedy in the depths of his eyes. “I thought I loved her,” he whispered. “But after we were married, I could see my selfishness for what it was. If I’d truly cared about her, I wouldn’t have pressured her so much, would have considered her needs and not just my own.”
