Page 100 of Never Leave Me
“No. I can’t be certain.” Her heart ached at the prospect that she may have failed her dad in his greatest hour of need.
Harrison was silent for several seconds as if recognizing and empathizing with her frustration. “Nicholas knew the place well. If anyone could get your dad out, he could.”
“What if they were both killed?”
The torture in Harrison’s eyes likely matched the torture in hers. “We can’t go there, Ellen. We just can’t. We did all we could for him, and now we have to let him go.”
She’d wanted to believe that her mission into the past, the whole purpose of her going, had been to save not only Marian from dying during childbirth but also her dad from whatever calamity he faced. But apparently that hadn’t been the reason. She hadn’t even been able to help Josie or any of the children in the Serenity House.
She released a sigh and fell back into her pillows.
Harrison’s shoulders slumped, and he hung his head again.
Something wasn’t right. A sick feeling wedged in her gut. “Where did you find more holy water to bring me back?”
He didn’t look up.
The unease spread. “Harrison?”
He started to release her hand, but she clung to him.
“What did you do?” She didn’t need to ask. She already knew. “You gave me the second dose of the holy water meant for you.”
His silence was all the answer she needed. She let go of him and sat up. “It was meant for you, Harrison.” Her voice rang with anger. “For you! Not me!”
“I know. And I was planning to take it.” He finally lifted his head. His eyes radiated with his own frustration. “But Ellen, you were dying. You couldn’t expect me to stand back and do nothing to save the woman I love.”
Woman I love.His declaration silenced her protest. The words she’d heard earlier came back to her.“I love you. Please never leave me.”
“Yes, I love you.” Each of his words was laced with grief. And now she knew why. They might have been reunited, but they had no future together any more now than they ever had. In fact, their expiration dates loomed nearer than ever.
“I’ve loved you for years.” His admission was a whisper. “I’m just sorry I waited so long to say it. I talked myself out of telling you, came up with one excuse or another why I shouldn’t. But I’m not going to do that anymore. Not even if I scare you away.”
She swallowed the familiar rising panic, the panic that urged her to flee, to hide, and to protect herself. But after everything she’d gone through, she couldn’t run. Not today. Not ever again. She had to remember to be courageous.
He cleared his throat. “You don’t have to love me back.” His tone was gentle, almost as if he sensed his admission had frightened her. “But I had to tell you ... before it’s too late.”
Again she swallowed. She had to express how she felt about him. But could she? “Harrison ... it doesn’t have to be too late. We can find more holy water, can’t we?”
He blew out a tight breath. “I’ve checked everywhere, and I can’t find any.”
“The vault?”
“Numerous times.”
“The crypt?”
“Sybil’s checked. Nothing’s there.”
If only Marian knew they needed more holy water, she’d put it into the vault for them. “We could try a time crossing to let Marian know.”
“I’ve given it a go with the residue left in the bottles, and it didn’t work.”
“I’ll try it.”
He retrieved a bottle from a container on the bedside table.
As she took it and rubbed a finger inside, she forced herself to concentrate on Marian and the year 1382. But when she stuck her finger into her mouth, nothing happened. She attempted several more times with the other bottles and ampullae Harrison had placed into a special box. But none of the residue had any effect on her.
