Page 49 of Never Leave Me
She was surprised to find he’d given her a woolen cloak and a blanket.
“From Sir Nicholas,” the guard whispered.
“Thank you.” She tried to catch his gaze, but he kept it trained on the ground, both fear and determination etched in the severe lines of his face. She guessed he was afraid of the repercussions from Lord Worth. But apparently he had retained enough compassion to pass along the items regardless of the consequences.
As he closed the door, the cavern grew dark much too quickly. A glow came in through the small, barred window on the door. But as the footsteps of the guards retreated, so did the light.
When the dungeon’s main oak door shut a moment later, darkness fell upon her with such thoroughness that she couldn’t see a single part of her cell, not even her hand, which she wiggled inches from her face.
For a moment, she stood frozen in place, disoriented, not knowing which way to go to reach her pallet or the stool. She squeezed her eyes shut.
“Wake up, Ellen.” Praying she truly would wake up from her coma, she opened her eyes, only to be confronted with the blackness of the dungeon. She was still in the past. Helpless. And alone.
The fact was, being helpless was nothing new. And neither was being alone. With her VHL and the reoccurring cancer, she’d been helpless to fight the disease. Helpless to control her body. Helpless about having a future. And she’d always felt alone. Dad and Marian had spent every waking moment of their lives hoping to give her a cure. What she’d really wanted was for them to give her their time and love.
Not only had she felt abandoned by Marian and Dad, but she’d also felt abandoned by God, like he’d decided her life wasn’t worth much and had given up on her.
But Harrison? He’d been there for her. He always picked up her calls, always offered to help, always spent time with her whenever she traveled back to England for a visit—which hadn’t been as often in recent years.
He was the one stability in her uncertain life. Was it possible she’d been hesitant to let their relationship change because she was afraid of losing that stability? What would happen if things didn’t work out between them? If he eventually decided he didn’t want to take a risk with her? Or if their attraction fizzled out?
She shuffled forward, putting out her hand to keep from bumping the wall. Her head grazed the sloping ceiling at the same time her foot connected with the pallet. Carefully she lowered herself,catching a whiff of mold and the stench of the chamber pot left from previous occupants of the cell.
Once she was sitting cross-legged, she fumbled with her cloak and wrapped it about her body before shrouding herself with the blanket. While she wouldn’t be entirely warm, she wouldn’t freeze—thanks to Nicholas.
What kind of man was Nicholas that he would think of her, a mere stranger? Not only had he defended her to Lord Worth, but he’d gone behind his brother’s back to offer her a measure of comfort. The cruel master of Reider Castle wouldn’t hang Nicholas for helping her, would he?
Her mind returned to the image of the soldier dangling lifelessly from the gatehouse, his body circling in the breeze. He was dead because of her.
Guilt choked the air from her lungs as it had every time she’d glanced out her chamber window to the gruesome sight. “Oh God, forgive me.” Her whispered plea rose into the dank air.
How many more people would have to die because of her?Please, God, no more.Especially not Josie or any of the other Serenity House children. She’d only wanted to help them, bring them some happiness in their short lives. Instead, she’d unwittingly dragged them into grave danger.
She slapped the pallet in frustration. She didn’t have time to sit in a dungeon. She had to find a way to save Josie and keep the other children safe from Dr. Lionel.
If only she could somehow communicate with Harrison and let him know of Lionel’s threats so that he could alert the families and police as well as be prepared for any endangerment to himself. She wasn’t sure how the time overlap worked or exactly how to initiate it. All she knew was that she had to try it.
But first, she had to get free from Lord Worth’s clutches. And to do so, she had to send a note to Marian and let her know she wastrapped. None of the servants earlier had been willing to earn their master’s wrath by bringing her writing material. Perhaps the guard who’d given her the blanket would be willing to help her again.
She closed her eyes and leaned her head against the stone wall, fighting off an overwhelming feeling of helplessness at being stuck in an alternate life and already having made a mess of things.
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,” she whispered. Although she’d experienced a tiny bit of hope for the future during those few blissful days on Saint Lucia, was she simply destined to die one way or another? If not from VHL, then from the coma or maybe even the danger of 1382?
“Please, God, give me the courage to change the things I can. Please.” Yes, she’d learned long ago to resign herself to her own fate. She wouldn’t fight it. But she couldn’t leave without first trying to change all that she still could.
13
AGENTLEPRODAWOKEELLEN.
She shifted on the uncomfortable pallet, her limbs stiff from the cold. Even though she was accustomed to less-than-ideal conditions from her years of working at the orphanage in Haiti, she’d always had a cot or bed.
At the distinct pressure against her arm again, Ellen’s eyes flew open. A faint glow lit her cell, revealing a cloaked figure crouched next to her. A scream welled up in her throat. Before it could find release, a gloved hand clamped over her mouth.
A dozen horrible scenarios raced through her mind. Had one of the guards returned to accost her? Was someone intending to harm her?
“Lady Ellen.” The hand over her mouth gentled. “It is I, Sir Nicholas.”
Sir Nicholas?
