Page 30 of Never Leave Me
“Is that all it was to you?” His tone was decidedly different too, almost ominous. “Acting?”
Was he upset at her? She couldn’t blame him. He’d been upfront about not wanting to act like a couple, and she’d gone ahead with it. “I’m sorry, Harrison. I wasn’t expecting the Fletchers to pressure us into kissing. Maybe I got carried away, caught up in the moment.”
At her words, Harrison pivoted to face her. Still attired in his tuxedo but having discarded his tie, he was just as gorgeous nowas he had been when they’d left their suite hours ago. Even though his expression was shadowed, there was no hiding the pain and hurt there. “No one forced me to kiss you.”
“That’s not what I meant.” No one had forced her either. She wasn’t sure why she’d done it, maybe because deep down she’d wanted to see what it was like to be treated like a newlywed, to finally be the one with the hope for a bright future.
“What exactly did everything mean to you?” His hands were still stuffed in his pockets.
She offered him a smile, hoping to regain the playfulness they’d shared in the hallway, hoping they could avoid a difficult conversation. “Everything has been fun. And I can’t thank you enough for bringing me here.”
He didn’t answer, and somehow she knew he expected more from her than glib platitudes. He wanted the truth. He wanted to know how she felt about their kisses, about the feelings those kisses aroused, and about how to proceed from here.
She couldn’t deny that an attraction was growing between them. And this trip and their time together made her adore him even more than she already had.
But surely he understood she was petrified of making plans, had always been too scared to think of her future, and she didn’t want to think about where their kisses might lead or how to move forward with their relationship.
Maybe she was healthy now, but what if the next PET scan showed that she still had cancer? And even if the cancer was gone now, what if it came back? It likely would, if the VHL was still a part of her genes.
“You’ve supported me through everything,” she whispered, “going with me even to the brink of death. But how do I know I still won’t get sick again?”
“You won’t.” His voice was hoarse.
How could he know? How could anyone know? It wouldn’t be fair to lead him to believe there could be something between them, not when her life was so uncertain, not when there were still so many unanswered questions.
But if she didn’t explore the changes in their feelings, if she didn’t give him more, would he cut her out of his life? She didn’t know if she could bear that. It was best if things stayed the same between them, wasn’t it?
“You’re my best friend, Harrison. I don’t want that to change.”
He shifted to face the pool again, and this time his shoulders slumped. He’d read into her words what she couldn’t voice aloud—all she was capable of giving him was the present, not when she didn’t know if she had a future.
She hung her head. What had she done? Despair crashed through her, and she wished she could go back and change things. She should have been more careful, should have thought more about how the kissing would affect him. Just because she lived every moment like it might be her last didn’t mean everyone else did.
She’d been foolish for hurting him, for jeopardizing their friendship. She could only pray that eventually Harrison would realize she was a ticking time bomb and that they were better off remaining friends and nothing more. She didn’t want him to stay upset at her, didn’t want him to push her away.
A text dinged. In the next moment her phone started ringing. Now wasn’t the time to worry about interruptions, but at another ding, she glanced at her phone only to discover the text was from Josie’s parents.
As she read their words, her blood turned cold. Josie’s vitals had crashed. She was in cardiac arrest and had been taken to the hospital’s accident and emergency wing. They didn’t think she’d live much longer.
The jet rolled to a stop on the tarmac. Harrison glanced out the window. The lights of Biggin Hill Airport glowed through the darkness of the late hour, welcoming them home.
If only he wanted to be back.
He stifled a sigh and released his seat belt. Across from him, Ellen unbuckled hers. In her chic skirt and silk top, she looked tremendous, so young and pretty, even though she was tired and worried.
After the tragic news about Josie, Ellen had been frantic to return to Canterbury and to somehow get in touch with Marian so she could try to get holy water for Josie. Harrison had done everything he could to arrange a change in the flight plans. But it had taken a few hours before they got clearance to leave by late morning.
They’d slept during the flight back. And now wordlessly they prepared to deplane.
Before leaving Saint Lucia, he’d phoned Drake and informed him to meet them with the car and his wheelchair, and he’d texted a short while ago with an update on the time. He wasn’t keen on disturbing his butler and driver at this late hour. But he couldn’t take chances on anyone else seeing him walking yet and draw the attention of Lionel Inc. or some other pharmaceutical company that had been attempting to get Arthur’s ultimate cure.
Once news was out that he was no longer paralyzed, he suspected Lionel would send their thugs after him and attempt to beat the truth out of him. He shuddered at the remembrance of his abduction last year when he’d been helping Marian.
He’d concluded the best thing to do was make a statement to the press. And his only course of action was to fabricate something about his recovery. He’d tell them that he’d been graduallyregaining movement over the past few years but hadn’t wanted to broadcast the news until he knew for sure he was progressing.
It was an outright lie. And he absolutely hated to lie. Look where lying to the Fletchers about his relationship with Ellen had gotten him.
Harrison slid a glance at Ellen.
