Page 14 of Enamored
Was it time to accept that Maxim and I had been childhood friends and nothing more? That we’d shared a short portion of our lives together, but that was all I could expect? That I’d placed more confidence in our friendship than he had?
If only my treacherous heart would stop admiring him. Even harried and tired with disheveled hair, he was a handsome man to behold, and the collision with him had robbed me of breath. Especially when his hands folded around my arms to steady me. The contact left me entirely too aware of the strength and energy coursing through his body.
With a sigh, I lifted my face to the sky, taking in the last of the stars and the half-moon that hung low and shone brightly over Vordinberg along the harbor. The distant calls were the signs that the city was stretching into wakefulness. ’Twould not be long before the fishing crews put out to sea and the busy capital was fully roused.
The fishing industry kept the country well supplied with the dozen or more varieties of fish that flourished off Norvegia’s long coastline. Many small towns and villages thrived with the business of salting and drying the fish. To the north, in the Golden Plateau and Frozen Wilds, the chieftains provided seal and whale meat for consumption.
I turned my attention again to the east, to the lowland fields ripe for harvest, the grains waving in the sea draft as if to welcome the sun. Like the fishermen, the tenant farmers and their laborers would soon head out for the day to cut and bundle the oats and barley that the people of Norvegia and the livestock needed to survive the bitter-cold winter months ahead.
Even with the storing away of food and supplies, the winters could often be difficult for Norvegia, and as much as my encounters with Maxim were unnerving and distracting, I needed to remember what was truly important—choosing a worthy husband, one who would feel as strongly as I did about protecting and providing for this land and the people.
I wanted to live by the old saying: “He who is not a good servant will not be a good master.” To be a worthwhile queen, first I had to be a worthwhile servant of the people.
But what if I selected a man who didn’t have the same philosophy, one who took the power away from me and ruled as a tyrant in my stead?
With all my education thus far, I considered myself a good judge of character. But I didn’t have the depth of training that Erudites and Sages had in understanding the inner workings of a person’s mind. The Erudites had at least ten years of schooling and the Sages ten more.
Few women ever accomplished such a feat. I’d read about only two or three accounts in the early history of our country. Some women with education became healers, although they were oft shunned, and I knew of only one ancient healer woman who lived in the Snowden Mountains.
And then there was my mother, Blanche.... She’d been studying to become an Erudite when she disappeared. I’d always hoped I could follow in her steps.
“Halvard?”
He shuffled inside the stairwell near the door but didn’t come out. “Aye, Your Highness?”
“Tell me something about Blanche.”
“Well now. Let’s see.” Halvard had been one of the palace guards when my mother lived in the royal residence long ago. He was the only one I ever asked about her. Everything I knew about her was because of him.
“She had a heart match with your father, that’s for sure.”
I smiled. Halvard had already shared as much. In actuality, he’d shared every detail he knew many times over. But I asked oft anyway.
“The Princess Blanche adored her husband,” Halvard continued. “And he—well, he loved the princess more than life itself.”
A heart match in Norvegia was considered important, especially among the royalty, because the Sages had determined that marriages based on mutual love and respect tended to bring more stability and peace within the kingdom and cause less conflict.
After a disastrous arranged union several decades ago, a Norvegian princess ran away and found refuge with a prince in Swaine. King Canute’s grandmother was that princess, and now he was making the claim he had more right to the Norvegian throne than I did. Of course, the Sages asserted that as a niece, I had more right to the throne than a distant cousin.
“If Blanche were here, Your Highness,” Halvard said, “she’d want you to find a man just like your father. Someone who loves you more than life.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Thank you, Halvard.”
If only such a heart match were possible. Maybe I could petition for more time to make my decision. From studying the history of the royal lineage, I knew extensions had been given on rare occasions. But in my case, with King Canute’s proposal of marriage and his threats hovering, I couldn’t prolong the courtship week. I couldn’t let my insecurities or anything else prevent me from doing my duty.
Maxim’s handsome face flashed before my mind. Just as soon as it did, I tossed it into the breeze, praying the wind would carry it far away. Thinking on him wouldn’t help matters. I couldn’t allow myself to feel any attraction to him—not even the slightest twinge—lest it undermine how I felt about any of the twelve noblemen.
As the circumference of the sun rose above the horizon, I jotted a final note into my journal, tucked the lead between the pages to mark my spot, then slipped the book through the layers of my skirt into my pocket.
I’d faithfully kept detailed records of the sunrise for years, always looking for patterns among my notes so I might understand the movement of the celestial body more accurately. I’d done it to learn, to investigate, and to make advances in the study of weather patterns that could affect our crops. I certainly hadn’t done it to hang on to memories of Maxim.
The orb rose higher, its blooming pink and lavender petals unfolding. The first rays finally touched upon the slate rooftops of the tall homes painted in bright red, blue, and yellow that crowded together on the hillsides along the sea.
Moments later, the first rays spilled through the arrow slit of the crenellation. I glanced behind me to find the light forming a cross on the bricks, just as it had since the first day I’d come to the top with Maxim.
As had become my custom, I lowered myself to my knees, bowed my head, and lifted my prayers. I needed the guidance of Providence now more than ever.
“Please help me to find the man who is worthiest to become king.”
