Page 45 of Enamored
If I defied Rasmus, I’d lose my chance at going to the Studium Generale. I’d never be eligible to become an Erudite, Sage, or Royal Sage. In fact, Rasmus would probably feel the need to eliminate me altogether in order to ensure that I’d never speak of his treachery and undermine him in any way. He’d accuse me of treason, and I’d have to spend the rest of my days on the run.
But if I went along with Rasmus’s plans like I always had, never standing up to him, never saying no to his schemes, then I’d continue to allow the darkness into my heart, staining it blacker with deceit, ambition, and selfishness. Maybe I’d eventually become greater than Rasmus. But in the process, would I lose my heart and soul altogether to total blackness and evil, the same way Rasmus had?
There was only one option. Deep inside, I’d known it all along. Even if it came with terrible sacrifice, I could do nothing less.
I refused to cooperate with Rasmus to entice Elinor any further. And I refused to convince her to marry me within two weeks. If my unwillingness to conspire with Rasmus led to my death as a traitor, so be it.
Regardless of the outcome, I had to find a way to stop Rasmus from harming both the king and the kingdom.
I wanted to seek Elinor out right away and confess everything. But if I did so, she would surely be angry, and Rasmus would know I’d told her about our schemes. At this point, I couldn’t chance Rasmus discovering I was working against him, not until I made sure both Elinor and the king would remain safe.
Instead, I retired to my chambers and worked on equations for foiling Rasmus. I knew first and foremost, I needed to deliver news to the king of his danger. I calculated the risk of sending a secret message with someone trustworthy. I had to do so without alerting Rasmus, but that would be difficult since Rasmus would be watching me carefully.
Knowing I at least had to pretend to follow Rasmus’s instructions on enticing Elinor lest I draw his suspicions, I set out to find her, looking in all the usual places to no avail. I inquired among her maidservants and even with her ladies-in-waiting, but their answers took me on a futile search. Clearly, Elinor hadn’t wanted to be found and had given her closest companions and servants information to lead them astray.
Had she known I would seek her out? Was she making her disappearance a riddle I must solve?
I broadened the scope of my hunt from the interior of the castle to the exterior but found no clues, not even from the gatekeepers. She’d not passed by them all day for an excursion into the city. My query to the guard by the secret side door revealed the same information. She hadn’t left the royal residence.
With eve fast approaching, my pulse took on a new rhythm, one that warned she wasn’t playing a game. She’d vanished too completely.
With the number of noblemen coming and going all day to test their worthiness with the sword, perhaps one had secretly stolen her from the castle. But who? And with what motivation? What about Canute? I trembled at the prospect that the neighboring king had sent a spy to abduct her.
As I queried the guards standing at the entrance of the great hall, Rasmus approached. Something in his unhurried step was different, more determined, less controlled. He motioned me, and I followed him to a private antechamber used by the king when he met with his knights or Sages. The room was dark and musty, the patter of rain against the closed shutters adding to the gloom.
When the door closed behind me, Rasmus leveled a severe gaze upon me. “Where has she gone?”
I had no reason to pretend I didn’t know who he was talking about. Apparently, he’d discovered the princess was nowhere to be found too. Since he had spies everywhere, I was surprised he was asking me for the princess’s whereabouts.
“Your Excellency, I have looked everywhere but have not located her yet.”
Rasmus pursed his lips tightly. He likely already knew that. Did he think she might have given me information she hadn’t revealed to anyone else?
Mentally, I went over every one of her favorite places, even some of the new reading nooks she’d told me about. But, as before, I could find no trails.
“She has left Vordinberg.” Rasmus stated the fact as though I should already know.
“Her horses are still here. And none of the guards saw her leave.”
“Two horses in the stables are unaccounted for. And one of her guards is also gone.”
My pulse gave a hard lurch. “Who?”
“He is an older guard. Halvard.”
The image of the older man immediately came to mind—the same guard who watched her on the turret in the mornings. He’d been one of Elinor’s personal guards for years and wouldn’t hurt a hair on her head. He would, in fact, die for her if need be. At the very least, I could take comfort in knowing she was safe with Halvard, wherever she might be.
“Where has she gone?” Rasmus repeated the question, this time unable to keep the irritation from his tone.
I was at a loss. I knew of no reason for Elinor to sneak away from Vordinberg, which was what she’d done if the guards hadn’t seen her leave. She’d either disguised herself and Halvard or hidden in a cart or some other conveyance to go undetected.
“Can we trail her?” I asked.
“I have already sent trackers out to try.”
Why had she left without speaking to me first? Without telling me where she was going or what she was planning?
She’d seemed to trust me again, to genuinely care about me, and to want to renew our friendship as much as I had. What had happened to change that?
