Page 37 of Enamored
“I know you are too intelligent to believe we have only friendship betwixt us and nothing more.” Her low voice did strange things to my insides. “Or perhaps you believe I am a fool and cannot sense that something else is there.”
“You’re not a fool—”
“Then what am I?” Her lashes lifted, the move sweeping me back and taking me off guard. I found myself peering into the depths of her eyes, the green warm and welcoming.
The only way forward with her was with honesty—or at least as much as I could afford. “I don’t deny something else is there. But I fear speaking of it, since it will do neither of us good and perhaps bring heartache.”
She reached up and brushed at a strand of my hair that had come loose from my leather hair cord. The soft caress stole my breath. “I would have you speak of it, Maxim.” Her fingers made a trail to my cheek, this time stealing away my rationale.
“Elinor...” She wanted to know how I really felt. And I couldn’t deny her the truth. I’d never been able to deny her anything.
“If I am to bind myself to a man I do not care about tonight, I would have this one small pleasure with a man I do care about today.”
I hesitated yet leaned into her touch and dropped the items I was holding. “You are more than just a friend.”
She waited, searching my face while she fingered another strand of my hair. If I’d wanted to keep my relationship in the friendship realm, her touch broke down my ability to do so.
“You are my everything.” The whispered words slipped out before I could censor them. ’Twas likely the most honest thing I’d said to her thus far. And yet it was far too private and scared me more than I wanted to admit. What if I lost her again? This time forever? I wouldn’t be able to survive it.
I started to back away, but her fingers skimmed to my neck. She rose on her toes, wrapping her other hand behind my neck. In the next instant, she lifted her face to mine and at the same time guided my head down until our lips collided.
The touch of her mouth, the warmth of her breath, the firmness of her hold sent my pulse into a thundering gallop. For a moment, I could think of nothing but kissing her back, pressing in, and letting our lips mesh together in a blissful few seconds.
Just as quickly, I pulled away, releasing her and extricating myself. Before I gave myself any reason to grab her and kiss her again, I spun and paced several feet away.
My heartbeat thudded so hard I could barely hear the waves breaking against the shore. What was I doing? Nothing good would come of kissing Elinor. I couldn’t lead her to believe more could exist between us. Could I?
But what harm was there in sharing another kiss? Or two?
A bolt of heat charged through my blood with the need to gather her and kiss her completely senseless. I folded my arms across my chest to keep from doing anything, especially from turning and reaching for her.
I waited for her to say something, to make a witty remark about her last taste of freedom or something like that.
But when she brushed past me a moment later, her expression was somber, even sad. Was she coming to understand, just as I had, that giving way to any feelings developing between us would only lead to heartache?
Elinor and I had never been destined to be together. I’d learned that lesson already, along with the fact that I could never trust Rasmus. The quicker Elinor and I could accept our fates and learn to live within the parameters established for us, the happier we’d be.
Chapter
12
Elinor
I’d kissed Maxim.I’d really kissed him.
I wanted to bury my face in my hands and hide, but I forced myself to sit as regally as I’d been trained in my chair at the head table of the feast. Maxim was nowhere present in the room that I’d observed, or perhaps I would have gone through with hiding.
If I was honest with myself, I’d been hiding since running away from him after the kiss. I hadn’t spoken to him on the boat trip back to Vordinberg. I’d ridden ahead of him during the climb through town to the castle. Once at the stables, I’d rushed to part ways and hadn’t seen him in the few hours since.
Of course, all the while my maidservants had helped me don another one of my best gowns and coil my hair into an elegant knot, I’d done little else but relive the kiss. How had I been so bold as to initiate it? What had gotten into me?
On the other hand, what woman could have resisted him after he uttered the most romantic words I’d ever heard:“You are my everything.”
Even now, amidst my mortification, his words reverberated through my mind and pulsed through my blood, stirring a strange, sweet longing for him. The simple truth was that I’d loved every minute we’d spent together last night and today, and I didn’t want our time to come to an end.
I’d gained my friend back with all the qualities I’d always loved about him. But I’d also gained something else I was still trying to understand, something that had to do with how handsome and muscular and chiseled and darkly tanned and roguish he was....
I nodded politely at the nobleman seated beside me in response to the conversation, but I had no interest in him or the others. It was clear now—none of those chosen for me could compare with Maxim. Not now and not in a century of tomorrows.
