Page 29 of Enamored
I took hold of her gloved hand and squeezed. “What I can promise is that you’ll be an honorable, sacrificial, and good queen. You’ll do the best you can. And that is all that matters.”
As I began to pull my hand from hers, she grasped it tighter. “Thank you, Maxim. I hope when the time comes for me to take the throne, you will have completed your training and become a Royal Sage so I can draw upon your wisdom.”
My imagination soared into the future, to a time when we were both older, when she was queen and married to someone like Torvald. As earlier, the prospect of her being with one of the noblemen—or any other man—unleashed jealousy, and it was metamorphosizing into an invisible tormentor I could no longer keep locked away.
“Please tell me you will never willingly leave me again.” Her voice dropped as though she sensed my conflicting thoughts.
I swallowed hard. As a child, I’d always pictured myself as her Royal Sage, standing behind her or walking near her right hand as Rasmus did with the king. I’d imagined her spending countless hours with me as we continued to challenge one another to learn and grow.
But after I was sent away, I gave up that dream. Instead, I made my ambition to become the best Sage in the land, to someday exceed everyone else in my wisdom so no one could compare to me. Then King Ulrik would realize his mistake and regret sending me away. And once Elinor was queen, she’d have no choice but to seek my counsel.
Now that I was back and had learned Elinor had no part in expelling me, that she’d missed me, had tried to write, and was even now still my friend, my aspirations needed to be adjusted.
I still wanted to prove to King Ulrik that I was the best and he’d been wrong to spurn me. And I still wanted to prove to Rasmus that I was better than him, so that someday he’d respect me instead of treating me like an inferior.
But with Elinor... while I wanted to be there for her, how could I work closely with her without wanting more? More friendship? More time? More of her?
Maybe if I knew with certainty that she would love her husband, that he was the worthiest in the land, that she would be happy in her marriage, I would be satisfied. I might not be able to keep from wishing for a deeper friendship, but at least I’d be close beside her. I’d make sure I was the one person she could always count on, the one advisor who would always have her best interest at heart, a friend she could always lean upon.
“Maxim?” She pulled away, clearly sensing my inner battle.
I drew her hand back and tucked it into the crook of my arm. “I’ll never willingly leave you again.”
“I would not coerce you into saying so—”
“I pledge it to you of my own accord and from the bond of friendship we share.”
“But your hesitation...”
“If I hesitated, ’tis only because of my own selfishness. I’ll always long for more friendship and companionship from you than you’ll be able to give me—”
“I shall always have time for you.”
“Once you are betrothed and married, ’twill be unseemly for you to spend time with me alone.” Like this. Though the cold nipped at us, the hedges provided a shelter from the breeze. I would be content to sit with her for hours on the bench if she allowed it.
She tucked her hand in deeper. “If you are my Royal Sage, who can oppose it?”
“Your husband.” Saying the word unleashed the tormentor inside me again. It slashed at my chest, leaving me nearly breathless with a pain I had no wish to feel.
“Then I shall make certain whomever I choose understands our friendship is important to me.”
I could only pray her betrothed would understand it. But if I were her husband, I wouldn’t like her being friends with another man. Not in the least.
Chapter
10
Elinor
With Maxim bymy side on the turret, the sunrise was more beautiful than any I’d witnessed in years. It was as if the sun had decided to bestow upon us a gift, the perfect ending to the glorious night we’d spent together.
I stifled a yawn as I finished writing down the time and the angle of the sun.
Maxim scanned my notes. “I’d say it’s more like thirty-six degrees at 6:25 a.m. instead of thirty-five at 6:26.”
I examined the sun’s position again. “You are correct.” I crossed out my notation and wrote the right numbers.
“’Tis a good thing I’m here to keep you in line, Your Highness.”
