Page 32 of Beguiled
I’d never given attraction much consideration. As I’d told Pearl when I’d been locked up in the dungeon, I always believed that my marriage would be practical and necessary, and always considered love something one chose to give regardless of feelings.
But was it possible I might be developing an attraction to Pearl after all? And yet, how could I find a woman with blemishes appealing? Surely once I saw her full face without her veil, this draw to her would diminish.
I shook my head to clear it of the confusion. The truth was, the more I got to know Pearl, the more I liked who she was regardless of how she looked. She was a smart, vibrant, and interesting woman. Not only that, but she cared deeply about people, was sacrificial, and was willing to do hard things. And maybe all those qualities made her appear more attractive to me. Whatever the case, as she peered up at me, I lost myself in her beautiful eyes once again.
Was she looking at me with admiration? Or interest? Or even longing?
Surely not.
“You did the right thing even though it was hard.”
Her praise warmed me every bit as much as her gaze. When she reached out and squeezed my arm, I suddenly felt as though I’d won the kingship.
“I should go to him.” She glanced toward Irontooth’s cave. “I shall offer to take a group over to Fife under cover of darkness to trail the Inquisitor and—”
“No.” The word was out before I could think, breaking me free from my trance. “I’ll do it.”
“I have lived here longer and know the patterns of the sea and Loch Ness better.”
“It doesn’t matter. I don’t want you getting anywhere near the Inquisitor.”
A crease formed between her brows, and her eyes sparked with the same fire I’d seen there many times since meeting her. “I am ready for something like this. ’Tis what I have trained for these many months.”
“Now that we are married, you have no need of training or fighting.” I hadn’t spoken against her joining in the weapons drills in camp, primarily because she was safer if she could defend herself. But there was no good reason for her to participate in the conflict with the Inquisitor.
As though sensing my resolve to stop her, she took a step away. “So long as there are people in this world like Queen Margery, I shall always have need of training and fighting.”
I wanted to contradict her, even forbid her from speaking to Irontooth. But at the glimpse of pain in her eyes, I held back my refusal. She was still working through a testing—a challenge—of her own. And she needed to resolve this inner battle if she would ever have true peace. But could I allow her to go on so perilous a mission?
I tried to gentle my tone. “’Tis my own fear of what may happen to you that makes me cautious.”
“Then you think I am weak and incapable?”
“Not at all. You are one of the most capable ladies I have ever met.”
“Then what?”
I glanced around to see who was observing our conversation. Only Gregor paid us any heed from where he stood next to our cave entrance. I rapidly closed the distance between Pearl and myself and took hold of both her arms.
She stiffened and struggled to pull away.
I slid my arms around her and pulled her into an embrace. I didn’t have the words to express my feelings for her, not when I didn’t fully understand them.
As our bodies made contact, she stilled.
I ran my hand down the long length of her braid and had the sudden vision of unraveling it and letting my fingers tangle in the ebony waves. I’d never seen her with her hair unbound but could imagine just how beautiful it would look.
She held herself rigidly a moment longer before she leaned in and rested her head against my chest. She didn’t embrace me in return, but I prayed she understood that I cared about her and wished no harm to befall her.
As I released her and strode away, I could feel her gaze following me. I’d learned long ago that doing the unexpected was one easy way to disarm a person and defuse a tense situation. And now I wanted to turn around and gauge her expression, to look into her eyes and see if she was beginning to care about me—even if just a little.
But I forced myself to keep walking. Sometimes a person didn’t recognize the value of what they had until it was no longer within reach.
Chapter
12
Pearl
