Page 20 of Beholden
“Vilmar,” she said hesitantly. “When you finish serving your sentence, will you find a way to help Alice and Benedict?”
Of course she wasn’t asking for herself. She was too selfless to do so. But I knew with sudden clarity that once my time here was over, I would make an effort to secure Gabriella’s release. If I didn’t try something, I’d never be able to return to Scania in peace. “I shall do my best to find a way to free you and Alice and Benedict.”
“So long as Alice and Benedict are safe, ’tis all that matters.”
It wasn’t all that mattered to me. I held back my thought, but as I left the infirmary a few minutes later, I wished I hadn’t allowed myself to care so easily for the people here. This wasn’t my country, and these weren’t my subjects. I had no business interfering in Queen Margery’s discipline of her people, no matter how unjust her methods were.
I’d do well to remember it.
Chapter
7
Gabriella
I swept theknife sideways, staying light and agile on my feet as Vilmar had instructed. Then I aimed for the imaginary target where Grendel’s neck would be and stabbed hard at the air, picturing the vulnerable artery there.
“Better,” Vilmar said quietly from behind me.
I lowered the knife, as our time for today had come to an end. The scant minutes we had were never enough, but over the past weeks of secret training, I’d finally begun to feel more comfortable with the weapon. And Vilmar’s directives for how to fight, move, and where to slice for the most damage, had been exactly what I’d needed so I could kill Grendel before he killed me.
If only I didn’t feel my father’s disapproval every time I held the knife. And if only I didn’t always hear his words about kindness being the greatest weapon echoing in my mind.
With only three weeks until the Midsummer’s Eve Choosing Ball, my time was growing short. I needed to write to the duchess erelong. When she read my note, I had no doubt she’d send for me, which meant I had to be well trained in wielding a knife first.
Though Vilmar indicated I was better, was I good enough?
Sitting on a stone near the bend in the passageway, Alice had leaned her head against the wall and closed her eyes. From the peacefulness of her breathing, I guessed she’d fallen asleep. Thankfully, after receiving the medicine, she’d recovered rapidly. While still weak and easily spent, she’d resumed her work in the mines, though we assured her we would fill her quota.
As I handed the knife back to Vilmar, I hesitated in departing. Perhaps I ought to extend the training to allow Alice a few more minutes to slumber. Certainly I didn’t desire to linger with Vilmar because I longed to spend more time with him, did I?
I couldn’t deny that over the many days of working together and getting to know him, I’d grown to genuinely like him. It was difficult not to. Not only was he ruggedly handsome, but he was considerate and helpful to everyone. And after what he’d done for Alice, I admired him more than any other man I’d known, perhaps even more than my father.
Nevertheless, I couldn’t allow myself to care about him beyond our friendship. Permitting anything more was foolhardy when I would soon leave him behind and never see him again.
He returned his knife to the hiding place in his boot. “Perhaps I can make a target for you to practice throwing the knife.”
“Will that help?”
“If you told me more about who you’re planning to fight, I would know how to train you better.”
It wasn’t the first time he’d plied me for more information. Something within me wanted to tell him, especially with his light-blue eyes imploring—almost begging—me to do so.
“Please, my lady.”
The gentleness of his whisper was almost my undoing, and I had to force myself to think of my father’s death and the queen’s part in it to strengthen my resolve. “I cannot speak of it.”
His shoulders sagged.
The secrets I held deep inside suddenly flared, scorching me with their heat. I should so like to share the burden with someone else. But I’d held them close these many months and couldn’t stop now.
“What more can I do to aid you?” he asked as though sensing my resolve. “Shall I instruct you on basic self-defense techniques you could use if you should find yourself without a knife?”
I planned to have a knife when I met Grendel in the arena, and I planned to kill him the moment he reached for me. But if something went amiss, I would be wise to have an alternative. “Very well. What other techniques should I know?”
“Perhaps some moves that would allow you to escape an unwanted hold?”
“Unwanted hold?”
