Page 42 of Red Retaliation
That is the single and only reason.
But if I had Arianna the one time and one time only, would that not rid my brain of this unhealthy obsession about her? The urge to take her as mine; that desperate need to plunge into her flesh and own her completely would be out of my system, wouldn’t it?
But how can I have a one-night stand with someone who will be mywife? If that line is crossed, there can be no turning back...
The truth is, I can’t. I made an oath to myself, and backtracking on that even once would be a disaster.
I frown. Why is it impossible to take the same attitude I have when bedding other women? And there’s beenmany! Lorna was one of them, so I keep the stance of take them or leave them.
Stupidly, I chose to take Lorna because it was easy. At the time, in my rising position as the heir of the firm, the expected thing to do was to take a wife. But the fact remains the same. Lorna - like all the others before her, during and since - meant nothing.
But Arianna, for reasons I don’t understand, is different. She affects me in ways that are alien.
“You’ve got to stop this.”
Del’s voice jerks me from my torturous thoughts. “What?”
Leaning across my desk, Del grinds his cigarette out in the ashtray and eyes me with concern mixed with irritation. “You’ve punished yourself long enough, Red. It’s been a long time now, and doing whatever you do to yourself won’t bring Lorna back.”
My teeth grind as my jaw tightens. Del was by my side when I hit rock bottom after Lorna’s “suicide” - the pseudo sorrow I played so well was exhausting, as was the guilt... However, the guilt wasreal- just not for the reasons I let everyone else believe.
It wasn’t guilt forLorna.
The five months since she died might be a long time to Del, but no amount of time rids my burden of guilt for bringing that traitorous bitch into my parents’ orbit. I couldn’t, justcan’trisk anything like that again, even if the setup and situation are completely different.
Annoyance brews. Why am I even thinking this? Arianna is a Galvatore - the enemy. And worse - it’s true what I said to my brothers - she’s had Roberto Bristoni’s cock inside her more times than I’ve had hot dinners, and I want to go nowhere that bastard has been.
Plowing myself into my work and the firm is enough. I get my kicks from violence, winning and shags on tap with faceless, pointless women.
It works.
Or ithad...
It still must.
Sometimes Del oversteps the line, with now edging closer to one of those times. “I appreciate your concern, but this has nothing to do with Lorna.” I can tell by the twitch in his jaw and the look in his steely eyes that he doesn’t believe me. But why would he? Del doesn’t know the truth either. He’s my best friend, yet I’ve never relayed the secret behind Lorna’s death.
Having another woman in my life - especially one who is by blood, an overt enemy - can only ever be safe by keeping the lines clear and watertight and never wavering over the edge. Such is my growing obsession with Arianna Galvatore, even succumbing to a one-night stand could fuzzy the lines and destroy others around me. So, despite my urge to have her, even the once, I will not risk that.
I lock eyes with Del. “Like I said, marrying Arianna is to make a point.”
“But I knowyou!” Sitting back, Del folds his arms across his chest. “If this chick was anyone else, I’dencourageyou to marry her, regardless of whether it’s to score points. I’d also suggest you bin off this ‘name only’ bullshit and have some fun, but...” His eyes harden. “She’s aGalvatoreand, however much your dick says otherwise, you need to have a word with yourself before you lose control.”
Bristling, I sit up. Del has nowdefinitelystepped over that fine line of mine. Friend, comrade or brother, no one tells me I don’t know my own mind. But before I can pull him up, he continues.
“I’m worried about you. You’ve put our necks on the line with this. Agreeing to harbor Arianna was awkward enough, but then instructing for Bristoni’s body to be brought here because the stupid cow left just aboutthe most obvious clue that it washerwho killed him, was worse.” Del glares at me in frustration. “Your need to protect her has already cost Steve his life, yet now you’re marrying the girl? It’s insane! Have you lost your mind, or are you that fucking obsessed with her to sell us all out? You’re taking the wrong path, Red, and you’ll bring the whole fucking lot of us down!”
“That’s enough!” Lurching to my feet, the opening of the office door is the only thing interrupting me from going for my best friend. “What is it?” I snarl, my eyes not moving from Del, who faces me off with equal vitriol.
The nervous-looking woman from the casino reception smiles weakly. “Sorry to interrupt, sir,” she stammers, her eyes darting between me and Del. “There’s a tailor here for you.”
The woman looks like she’d prefer to be anywhere else but here, and I can’t say I blame her.
“He says you’ve booked him about a suit?”
I nod.My wedding suit. “That’s correct. I’ll go and see him now.”
Reluctantly pulling my intense glare from Del, I stride from my office. This interruption happened at just the right time because when it boils down to it, Del is right. Arianna is a Galvatore, and I’m risking not just myself, buteverybodyby continuing this plan. My idea is insane.
