Page 7 of Deep Waters
“So?”
“So, my brother has had a crush on you since forever.”
“He has not,” I protested.
That couldn’t be right. It seemed like Zach had dated half the town. He’d never so much as looked at me sideways.
“Pretty sure he asked you to prom.”
“He was joking.”
“No. He wasn’t.”
“He wasn’t joking?” I froze. In one sentence, Vi had rewritten my history with Zach. “He literally said, ‘Hey, wouldn’t it be funny if we went to prom together?’ and there was no way I took that seriously. I thought he meant Simon too, like a threesome.”
“Was Simon actually there when Zach asked?” Vi’s tone was gentle.
“Shit. No.”
I’d assumed. Too shy, too used to hanging out as one of the guys to think Zach had any romantic feelings for me. The world shifted on its axis, things momentarily out of focus as I tried to reconcile Violet’s information with what I thought I’d always known.
The flare of possibility snuffed itself out almost instantly. Any feelings Zach had for me at eighteen were long gone now. We were friends. I was closer to him than to my own family. I’d spent the better part of a decade burying any other instincts. Not noticing him had become a game. He’d had a parade of women in his life over the years. Anything we could have had was a thing of the past.
I’d be lucky if he forgave me enough to stay friends. More was out of the question. Not after I violated his trust.
Sure, he’d seemed angrier with Simon than with me, but once he had time to think about it, he’d blame me too. I’d betrayed him. I knew it. He knew it. Just staying friends would be a minor miracle. I’d shove any other feelings in a box, duct tape them tight and stuff them in my mental closet where they belonged. Zach and I had too much baggage between us already. I didn’t need to load him up with more of my crap.
Chapter 4 – Zach
Iavoided Rae, still grappling with my hurt feelings and anger. With the awareness that she was no longer off-limits. No longer my friend’s girlfriend.
She was hard to dodge when we lived aboard boats berthed next to each other, but I gave it a valiant effort. Choosing to be at Harbor Brews every waking moment was easy enough when I owned the place and had the keys. The shop had never been so spotless.
I called Simon in the wake of Rae’s news. The coward didn’t pick up the phone.
Every thoughtless comment came back to haunt me. Maybe he had reason not to tell me. Then. But I’d grown a lot. Holding Rae hostage so long in their relationship pissed me off. He knew what her family was like. How they took advantage of her. For him to do the same filled me with a rage that all the scrubbing in the world couldn’t stamp out.
And then there was the hurt. Alone, I could name it. She hadn’t told me. Trusted me. That knowledge burned more than Simon’s betrayal. Simon hadn’t been here, making it a little easier to let him off the hook for not feeling like he could tell me. But Rae knew how much I’d changed over the years. She knew I could be trusted to keep my mouth shut. It wasn’t her secret to tell, but the fact that they’d conspired to keep this from me burned.
Them not telling me the truth was yet another rejection. And it left Rae to shoulder the load of their farce alone. Lie to me. Lie to the whole town. Simon had been in an impossible situation, but I couldn’t help but be angry that he’d burdened Rae, keeping her from living her life while he pursued his dreams.
I rubbed at my sternum, trying to ease the burning sensation there. Too much damn coffee. No one told you how much heartburn hurt. I snorted. Or they did, and I just didn’t listen. Apparently, I was thick when it came down to it.
Did I suspect that all wasn’t right with Simon and Rae? I knew. Their relationship looked like nothing I could imagine. In no universe would I leave Rae alone for years, flying her out only once or twice a year to visit and never coming home myself. It was unthinkable.
Part of me hadn’t wanted to probe too much. They were friends. Rae was off-limits. Thinking of them beyond that was poking at a wound that just wouldn’t heal, no matter how desperately I wanted it to. I’d tried everything: other women. Celibacy. Work. Nothing eased the ache until I settled into friendship, accepting that I wanted Rae in my life any way I could have her.
A platonic relationship with Rae was better than sex with someone else.
Flirting was a lovely distraction and helped me keep up appearances. But these days, ifNauti by Naturewas rocking… it was stormy out.
It took me almost two weeks to admit that I missed her.
My self-imposed exile to get my feelings under control had to end. I’d committed to helping her with Jia’s kids for the summer, and I wouldn’t let Rae down. Not like Simon did.
Zach: What time shall we head to Jia’s Monday?
Rae: You’re still coming?
