Page 4 of Deep Waters
In retrospect, there had been signs. She never wanted me to visit Simon with her, which I chalked up to them needing privacy. Not seeing them together probably helped sell the lie. The day she told me they were an item, I was heartbroken. Did it keep me from suspecting the truth?
No matter how I twisted things, her betrayal stung. Simon’s doubly so.
“I love you, Fenwick, but we both know you’re not good at keeping secrets.”
I bit back the desire to blurt out the truth. I’d kept my feelings for her a secret this long. Telling her I’d been dead jealous of my friend and felt like shit about it wouldn’t help things. Protesting that I could have kept silent would be a lie. If I’d known Rae was single, protecting Simon wouldn’t have kept me quiet long.
The smell of my coffee turned my stomach, and I set it aside.
I’d failed my best friends. That knowledge sat heavily on my shoulders. Simon hadn’t told me his truth. Rae had kept quiet. For years.
She kept her eyes downcast, ripping her napkin into piece after piece, until only tattered flutters of wispy tissue remained.
The coffee threatened to crawl back up my throat. I hated hurting her. “Who else have you told?”
“No one.” Her big eyes turned to me. “You’re the first. I wanted you to know.” She fought for a smile that crumpled, wavering on her sweet face before strengthening into something real. “We didn’t mean to hurt you.”
I rubbed at my sternum, the burning sensation traveling from my chest to my throat. Hurt. Frustration. And more than a bit of rage clogged my vocal cords.
“Why isn’t Simon telling me himself, or at least telling mewithyou, even if it’s only via video chat?” I scowled. “I hate that he’s left you on your own for this.”
Rae lifted one shoulder. “Now that his folks have retired to the mainland, he doesn’t have a reason to come back. He and his fiancé flew to Hawaii today to elope.”
“You’re the reason,” I bit out. “How is he making you go through this on your own?”
“I told him I have you.”
Her simple words gutted me. She had me—a sorry excuse for a friend. I’d jumped all over her with accusations and hurt feelings.
She reached for my hand, hers work-roughened with calluses on the fingertips. “I’m sorry I lied, Zach. I do have you, don’t I?”
“Yes.” Part pledge, part reassurance. The word was ripped from the secret part of my heart that had been yearning for her for nearly a decade.
Slowly, a tendril of hope unfurled. Sacking up to support her now could change the trajectory of our future. Simon may have abandoned Rae, but I’d never leave her on her own. As much as I wanted to murder my former best friend, maybe part of him knew. Had always known.
Just like I’d known something wasn’t quite right with their relationship. But I’d counted myself too good a friend to probe. Now Iwish I’d asked a hell of a lot more questions. It seemed grossly unfair that Simon had met someone new and fallen in love, all while Rae was tied to their farce at home.
“You have me, Captain. You always have me.”
Chapter 3 – Rae
Crawling through broken glass back to theSailor Swiftwouldn’t ease my guilt about how we’d treated Zach, but telling him the truth left me feeling just as cut up inside. I’d lobbied for Simon and me to tell him every time I visited over the last few years, sure Zach could handle our secret. Simon was stubborn in his refusal, still thinking of Zach as the happy-go-lucky mischief-maker of our youth who couldn’t keep his mouth shut.
After Zach’s reaction, I dreaded telling my family and our friends about my breakup. They’d all have questions. Some I couldn’t really answer. Zach deserved the full truth. and he got it. My family would need a watered-down version.
Anya texted our group chat as I arrived back at my boat. My friend Anya was dating Zach’s older brother, Drew. They hadn’t announced their engagement yet, but the way gruff Drew made googly eyes at her, it was only a matter of time. Watching them together over the last few months had only served to emphasize how fake my relationship with Simon was. They were the real deal. Simon and I were the cheapest of imitations.
Anya: Lunch today at the park?
Lucy: I’m in.
Vi: Me too. Noon?
I chimed in, not sure I could eat but resolved to tell my friends my news.
Rae: I’ll be there.
Pulling together a quick lunch of cucumber slices and turkey only took a few moments, leaving me too much time to anticipate their reactions.
