Page 38 of Deep Waters
Her gaze drifted to the backseat, to a drowsy Tae and Hana. “No, we can’t.”
I slipped from the car, keeping my steps soft. Rae locked the doors behind me. I walked the perimeter of the house, looking for any signs of forced entry. Finding none, I unlocked the front door, performing the same walk around inside. Nothing. Shoulders slumping, I let myself take a deep breath, exhaling slowly.
I was being silly. Overcautious. But I’d never forgive myself if I let down my guard and Rae or the kids got hurt.
Carting a sleepy Hana inside and up to her room only took a few minutes. I should make her brush her teeth and change, but she was already half-asleep, and I hated to wake her. Rae nudged Tae through teeth-brushing and into bed.
I’d been careful to avoid too much time alone with Rae, aware that living together might be more pressure than she wanted at this juncture in our relationship. She needed to come to me willingly. Not because it was convenient, or what was expected.
Rae had played the good long-distance girlfriend for a long time.
I wanted our relationship to be something different. Something new. Real. And that meant not pushing until she was ready.
She emerged from Jia’s room before I could slip into the guest room, clad in tiny shorts and a tank top that left little to the imagination. The sleep set revealed acres of tanned skin. Each softly curved thigh and shapely calf was visible, almost up to her panty line. Mymouth went dry. I swallowed, a weak attempt to scrape together some moisture to ease my tight throat.
Rae was strong and capable, but still so delicately feminine. The dichotomy that was Rae never failed to fascinate me. Soft and tender at heart, but fierce and unshakable when her loyalty was tested. She had a drive for her career that matched mine. I’d seen her come home late, covered in grease, after a hard project.
Tonight, I imagined she carried the soft scents of grass and sunshine. Intricate lace edged the neckline of her camisole, the teal color popping against her summer tan. She’d let her hair down, and it clouded around her shoulders, waves and curls fighting for supremacy in a dark halo.
“You are stunningly beautiful.”
The words slipped out without conscious thought—before I had time to soften them into something easier for her to accept. But I didn’t want to diminish them. She deserved to hear it. Every day until she believed.
Rae’s chin dropped, her gaze flickering away as if she could escape the adoration I wanted her to claim as hers by right. I wanted to tip her chin up, force her to look at me. Make her to accept the compliment. She was gorgeous. Inside and out. She deserved to believe it.
And that moment of doubt, the way she shrank from the truth, snapped something inside me. Anger bubbled up from my gut until it choked me. Simon did this. By encouraging the lie, he’d hidden the truth from her: that she was breathtaking. That she was sexy. She deserved love. The real kind. Not the imitation Simon had offered her, the lie to protect him.
And I’d spend every damn day proving it to her if she let me.
“Fuck it.”
I reached for her. She came willingly, laughing up into my face as my hands settled on her hips.
“Fenwick, I had no idea pajamas turned you on.”
I buried my nose in the crook at her neck, delighted when a shiver cascaded through her body. “That’s a damned lie. Everything about you turns me on. Especially those pajamas. They’re practically designed for torture.”
She laughed. “Please. Everything? I doubt that. We’ve been friends for years, and you haven’t jumped my bones or even hinted that you were interested.”
“How was I supposed to? You were my friend’s girlfriend. Off-limits. Plus, you’d already turned me down once.”
“I did not,” she scolded, pulling back to gaze up at me. “When did I turn you down?”
“Prom. Our senior year.”
“You didn’treallyask me to prom.”
“Yeah, I did.”
She snorted, softening it with a smile. “I think I’d remember if you asked me to prom. You said something along the lines of ‘hey, wouldn’t it be funny if we went together’—not the same thing. You made it sound like a joke. I had no idea you meant it. Even then, you were, well,you.”
“In teen boy, that’s practically a marriage proposal,” I huffed. “But I could have been clearer. I was shier then.”
“Thatdidn’t last long…”
“True. We graduated, and you were linked to Simon. You closed that door for good. I looked elsewhere.”
“You lookedeverywhere.”
