Page 33 of Deep Waters
Mr. Basu’s boat had a stern drive that couldn’t be tilted completely out of the water. Outboards were a better choice for boats moored full-time in saltwater, because it prevented marine growth and corrosion. Mr. Basu had moved theReel Pacificfrom Lake Washington to Friday Harbor when he retired.
By the end of my day, I was dirty, tired, and pleasantly sore.
“Hey, Rae. See me before you leave.”
My dad’s words made my chest tighten. He was always taciturn, but his wrinkled brow made me think his request was more than his usual carping on minutia. If I left a drop of oil on the floor, I heard about it. Keeping a scrupulously clean shop was a point of pride for him. One I respected. I just wished he showed as much respect for my skills as he did my brothers. They were older. More sales-oriented than repair. They handed all the difficult jobs to me. So why did it feel like they treated my projects like grunt work instead of hard-won expertise?
Half our reputation was built on our ability to service boats. It drove our income when the sales market was down. But they treated me like I tinkered with toys, occasionally remembering to pat me on the head.
My dad leaned back in his chair behind his massive wood desk. He was too fastidious to prop his feet on top, but he cupped his hands behind his head, inspecting me. I brushed self-consciously at a smudge on my coveralls. Repairs were dirty business. I couldn’t wear slacks and polos like my older brother.
“Take a seat.”
I slumped in the chair across from him.
“Why am I hearing from Matt Reynolds that you and Simon broke up? What’s that all about?”
I held back my snort with effort. ‘What was it about?’ Not wasIheartbroken. Far be it from my dad to ask about my love life.
Holding his dark gaze was difficult. He’d ruled my world for so long. I’d worshipped him when I was younger. Loved boats and all things mechanical. I used to follow him around the shop, watching him work. It was only as I grew older that I realized how hard he’d been on my mom. How little he seemed to truly care for me. I kept hoping that with enough loyalty, enough sacrifice, he’d see me. Not my mother.
I hadn’t even told him about the drama at Jia’s, sure he wouldn’t care. Zach had offered his family farm, his family to protect me and the kids. I’d be lucky if my dad offered anything at all. He treated me like a cog in the machine, when he thought of me at all.
Slowly, I straightened in my chair, thrusting my shoulders back. “Simon’s marrying someone else. It was an amicable breakup.”
My dad’s lip turned up in a sneer, sending the last blush of hope that he’d pick me, take my side, scurrying for cover. “You should have followed him if you wanted to keep him.” He shook his head slowly, pitying. “Just like your mother.”
His words stung. My mother moved to Anacortes when she divorced my dad. I couldn’t blame her. Living on the same tiny island would have been tough. But I resented that she left us here with him. Left me. We’d drifted apart over the years, visits coming farther and farther apart.
Keeping Simon was never the point. Everything I’d done was to help my family. Simon’s dad had been threatening to end the lease on San Juan Marine Repair. Dating Simon meant he couldn’t exactly kick us out. It’d been my one move. So I’d done it. Lived with the farce to protect our family business. But my dad’s pride would never handle me revealing that.
Even if I hadn’t fixed the problem, I’d bought us time. Years longer than I initially planned. Enough to save money for a down paymenton the land our shop stood on if Simon’s dad moved forward with his plans.
I forced my expression to remain placid. Not to betray my inner thoughts. “Simon and I are friends. There are no hard feelings. I wish him well.”
And I did. Maybe we’d used each other, but I couldn’t complain. I’d gotten what I wanted from our deal. Even if having him dump me to marry someone else was borderline humiliating, I’d survive.
“Matt is making noises about ending our lease after this year.”
My dad said it bluntly. As if it was my fault. And in one sense, it was. But Simon and I weren’t going to live a lie forever. If my dad was half the businessman he thought, he’d have planned for this. I had. I’d scrimped and saved. Living on my boat kept my expenses low, allowing me to build a nest egg.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” I said evenly.
He grunted. “Just thought you should know what your little breakup cost us.”
I flinched, every muscle tightening. Not snapping back took every ounce of control I had.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
And I was. But not for the reasons he suspected. Poison seeped beneath my skin until I was numb. Never an affectionate man, he became colder with every disappointment. And life had handed him a lot of them.
He didn’t know what to do with a daughter after my mom left, and it showed. So he treated me like my brothers. Which was fine, because I loved the marine business. Engines made sense in a way my family never did. I just wished he’d listen to me. Years of being overlooked, dismissed took their toll. Until I expected the loneliness. And learned not to need so much. To take steps on my own.
He flicked a hand toward the door, dismissing me.
I fired off a text to Simon. He might not see it until after his honeymoon, but I had to know.
Rae: our deal still stands?
