Page 21 of Deep Waters
I’d really thought adulthood would be more pizza and ice cream and less grocery shopping and figuring out what to feed myself every day until I died. My repertoire was pretty basic. The galley onSailor Swiftdidn’t lend itself to complicated meals. Crackers and cheese were my friend. Not an option I could offer Tae without a boatload of Lactaid.
“Pizza?” Hana asked hopefully. “With you and Zach, we can even get one with real cheese!”
Tae’s eyes sparkled. “I don’t mind getting a pizza all to myself. Then I can get anchovies.”
I wrinkled my nose. “What ten-year-old kid likes anchovies?”
Tae pointed both thumbs at his ribcage. “This one.”
“Okay. I’ll call in an order, and we can go pick it up. What do you like on your pizza, Hana?”
We debated toppings and options before I grabbed my cell phone and stuck my head outside, spotting a new light and camera, but no Zach or Drew. Walking around the house, I found them at the back, Zach handing up tools to Drew on the ladder.
“Zach. Drew. I’m ordering pizza for dinner. What will you have?”
“None for me, thanks. I’ll go home and eat with Anya.”
Zach grinned, his dimple flashing. “Whatever you and Hana-banana want is fine with me. I want my girls to be happy.”
He said it so sweetly, I believed him. It was only pizza. And drowning was just an extended bath.
“Are you sure you want to leave your future in the hands of a six-year-old?” I asked.
His grin didn’t falter. “I’m already putty in your hands, Dawkins. Haven’t you figured that out yet?”
Drew muttered something I couldn’t hear. Zach scowled. “I can hold this ladder, or I can have a clumsy moment and ‘accidentally’ knock it over. Your funeral, Drew. Dawkins would never rat me out. She likes me better than you.”
My lip twitched. They kept their brotherly squabbles in check during SAR calls, but the rest of the time, roasting each other was fair game.
Drew turned to me, brow arched. “That true, Rae-by-cakes? Do you like my little brother better than me?” He fluttered his lashes, playing up his appeal. It was hard to believe Drew was the same grouchwho used to avoid chit chat, sticking strictly to necessary facts on rescues. Falling for Anya had set his silly side free.
“I’m taken, but I can help you do better than him if you want.” He paused, tilting his head as my face flushed. There was an edge to Drew’s teasing that I didn’t quite understand. Anya probably told him Simon and I were through. Drew was the last man I thought would try to matchmake for me. Was his offer about helping me or about torturing Zach?
“There’s no one better than me for Rae,” Zach rushed to say, his expression harsh, fists clenched as he glared up at his brother.
His dark gaze swung to mine, sharp and unguarded, pinning me in place. Time stopped, my breath seizing in my chest. There was no room for pretense in the way he looked at me – no careful charm, no easy humor to soften the edges.
Zach’s claim may have been clumsy, but his expression was utterly raw. Stripped bare. Like the words had been ripped from the dark recesses of his heart. Not the light and sweet side of his nature, but the depths he kept hidden. The competitive nature created by a lifetime with three siblings and the instinct to assert his place before someone else swooped in.
Drew hopped down from the ladder, landing lightly, a smug grin tugging at his lips. “My work here is done.”
Zach blinked. He shook his head as if snapping himself out of a trance. If Drew intended to push his brother to the breaking point, he’d succeeded.
“We’re all done here. Maybe call in the pizza? I can go pick it up if you want.”
Zach’s voice was husky, sounding strangled to my ears. Like he couldn’t quite believe he’d said what he said aloud.
I was still struggling to process his assertion that he was the best man for me. He’d been unwaveringly sweet about Jia’s deployment, offering to help with the kids. Did this mean he forgave me for the lies about Simon? For exaggerating our relationship?
I was barely ready to admit that I’d used Simon as a shield. From life. From my family. From love. With Simon, I was safe. He didn’t touch my heart. Our relationship had a purpose, but heart-pounding, soul-stirring, risk-it-all love wasn’t it. We were only friends. Co-conspirators.
And I’d pushed Zach away to make it happen. To keep up the pretense. Now that the barrier between us was down, he was already pushing my boundaries. Staking a claim.
Part of me was eager to stake one right back. To not let this chance at happiness slip through my fingers. I’d repressed my feelings for Zach for so long. Had they faded away, or just gone dormant, waiting for their moment to strike?
He was willing to let the subject drop. But was I? The specter of ruining our friendship for good haunted me. But the whisper of something more, of what we could be together, drew me forward.
Two big steps brought me toe-to-toe with Zach. My chest heaved, bringing in gulps of air. He stood still, like a wild thing caught in the headlights of a passing car, sure the danger would pass if he could just wait it out.
