Page 41 of The Highlander's Illicit Bride
“How dae ye mean?”
“Like ye just said, ye’re Murdoch Mackintosh’s daughter. Ye’re nae Murdoch Mackintosh,” he said. “Me anger is fer him. Nae ye. Ye have naethin’ tae dae with the things yer faither has done?—”
“But yer sister?—”
“Was yer faither’s daein’. Nae yers,” he said gently. “Naethin’ done tae me and me kin is in any way yer fault. Me anger is fer him and him alone.”
Her heart swelled and her body filled with warmth at his words. Isolde looked down at her hands, which she continued to wring together as she tried to control the emotions swirling wildly around within her.
“Besides, like I keep tellin’ ye, I’m a man of me word,” he continued. “I made a deal with ye and I intend tae hold tae it—and hold ye tae yers.”
The tone in his voice told Isolde that he was sincere. And as much as he intended to get his brother’s location from her, she also knew he was helping her because it was the right thing to do. Because, in his way, he cared about what happened to her.
“Can I ask ye a question?” he asked.
A wry grin curled her lips. “’Tis only fair since I just asked ye one.”
He reached out and put his hand over hers, stopping their incessant motion and forcing her to raise her eyes, meeting his gaze. Isolde’s mouth grew dry, and she felt a tremor pass through her.
“Is it the idea of marryin’ Dougal MacPherson what has he in such a state?” he asked. “Is the idea of bein’ forced intae that life why ye’re so on edge and terrified?”
Her eyes darting around the forest, she pulled her hands away and began wringing them together again. Her heart thundered in her chest and she continued to tremble. She was doing her best to hold it all together. To not let her fear show too much.
We are so near Cluny House. We are nae safe, by a long stretch…
They had to keep moving. Had to ride on and put some distance between them and Dougal’s lands. But she didn’t want to alarm Struan. Nor did she want to tell him how close they were to his brother. Not yet… and there came the wave of guilt again.
“Isolde?” he asked.
She sighed heavily. A thousand thoughts raced through her mind as she pondered the question. Isolde let out a deep breath.
“’Tis nae just that,” she said after a long moment, eyes darting through the trees. “Aye. The idea of bein’ forced tae marry a cold, cruel man like Dougal MacPherson scares me. The thoughtof what he’ll dae tae me—especially now that I’ve caused him so much trouble—terrifies me,” she admitted. “But that’s nae what has me feelin’ like I’m comin’ apart at the seams.”
Struan held his tongue, offering her a moment to find her footing before she spoke again. She swallowed hard, forcing the words out. “Finlay is bein’ held at Cluny House, Struan. Dougal MacPherson has him,” she said. “And… it terrifies me tae think of ye bein’ captured too. If that were tae happen, there’d be nobody tae look after yer clan. I dinnae want tae imagine what me faither and Dougal would dae tae yer kin if that happened.
She hesitated, and this time her hands fell away from the bandage.
“And if that happens… if Dougal takes ye too… then I’ll be truly alone.”
Her throat tightened. She didn’t look at him. Isolde couldn’t bear to meet Struan’s gaze. “I’ve spent so long tryin’ tae survive on me own, I never thought I’d come tae rely on someone. And now I dae. Whether I want tae or nae.”
Isolde’s stomach clenched so hard she thought she might be sick. Terrified of what she might see in his eyes, she forced herself to raise her gaze only to find Struan’s face blank and expressionless.
Isolde watched a host of emotions scrolling across his face and couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d betrayed him. Then, his eyes narrowed and his face hardened with anger. Finallyrealizing how close they were to his brother and the fact that she knew all along but kept it from him, Struan’s body tightened and his hands balled into fists.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I should have told ye sooner. I ken that.”
“Aye. Ye should have.”
“I just… I’m sorry.”
Struan closed his eyes and turned away. His lips moved as he muttered to himself, trying to gather his emotions and seeming to be struggling to keep himself in check. She didn’t blame him for his anger. Didn’t blame him for anything he was feeling.
“I understand if ye hate me,” she said. “In yer place, I’d hate me too.”
He blew out a long breath and opened his eyes again. But Struan took a moment, staring off into the distance, before turning back to her.
“Why didnae ye tell me this before?” he asked, his voice soft.
