Page 31 of Bound to a Highland Beast
Isabeau nodded, deciding it was, indeed, the best course of action. With Tiernan busy with the fire and looking away from her, she turned around and began to fiddle with her clothes. But no matter how much she tried to undo the laces of her tunic, her cold hands refused to cooperate with her.
A curse escaped her, quiet but not quiet enough to keep it from Tiernan. Without turning around from where he was staring at the fireplace to give Isabeau some privacy, he called to her, his tone tinted with mirth.
“Everythin’ alright?”
“I cannae take off me tunic,” she said. “Me fingers… they’re so cold I cannae move them.”
“Shall I help ye?”
Isabeau considered that question. On the one hand, it seemed indecent, having Tiernan help her with her clothes. On the other, not only did she need the help, but she also craved to feel Tiernan’s touch on her, his hands brushing against her skin even if it was simply by accident.
In the end, she settled for a small nod, before she realized Tiernan couldn’t see her.
“Aye,” she said, so softly that she wondered if Tiernan even heard her at all. But then, she heard his footsteps as they approached her only to stop right behind her.
Isabeau could feel the warmth of his body, of his breath on her neck. When he began to untie her tunic, his movements were gentle, his fingers barely touching her at all, and yet her desire coiled deep within her core, demanding her attention. It was impossible to ignore it now that she had had a taste of what could be hers, but at the same time, she didn’t know if this was something she could have. Not only was Tiernan reluctant to even touch her, but a part of her thought he was right. They were not made for each other. They were from different worlds, drawn together by circumstance only to be separated again by the end of their adventure—either by society or by death.
But how can I keep meself away from him? How can I deny how I feel?
But then, just as she was about to give up every hope that she could at least have a night with him, she felt the barest brush of lips on the side of her neck—so soft that at first, she thought she might have imagined it.
But nay… he kissed me. I ken he did.
Isabeau turned around sharply, suddenly coming face to face with Tiernan, so close that their noses brushed together, the scant air between them electrified by their desire. The room around them felt devoid of all oxygen, Isabeau’s breath coming in short pants, shallow and quick and insufficient. Her entire being was surrounded by Tiernan, he was all she could see, all she could feel, and she found herself lost in his eyes, which looked more grey than blue in the dim light of the candles.
She could not look away. It was as though she had been hypnotized, drawn into their depths.
When Tiernan bridged the gap between them and finally kissed her, she was not surprised. She met him with ease, her arms wrapping around his neck to pull him close as his lips pressed against hers, pleasure exploding through her entire body at that simple touch.
She couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like to have him completely, to become his just as she craved. If a simple kisscould feel so good, then what would it be like to surrender to him entirely?
When Tiernan pulled back from her, they simply stared at each other in silence. Isabeau could feel Tiernan’s desire like a palpable, living thing between them, as real and solid as he was, and it only served to fuel her own, sending sparks of need through her entire body. This wasn’t enough; it never could be. She was desperate for more, and so she pressed closer with a soft sigh, letting her eyes fall shut.
“Kiss me again,” she whispered.
Even as she thought Tiernan would give her what she wanted, though, he pulled back from her once more, letting her arms fall off his neck, and her stomach dropped.
Did he not want her, after all? Did he not desire her as she desired him?
But no, she couldn’t have been this mistaken; she always knew when a man was interested in her and there was no doubt in her mind that Tiernan wanted her just as much as she wanted him. It was something else that was holding him back, something that had nothing to do with desire.
“I cannae,” he said softly, shaking his head. “Isabeau… I’m nae a good man. Everythin’ I’ve done, it will haunt me forever. An’ ye… ye’re nae like me. Ye’re too good tae be kissin’ a criminal like me.”
So this is what it is about. He doesnae think he’s good enough fer me.
“I bet ye wouldnae say the same tae Alaric,” Isabeau said. “I bet ye had nae issue with him bein’ with Lucia. She was a criminal too. An’ neither o’ ye is a criminal anymore.”
“That’s different,” Tiernan said, just as Isabeau had expected him. Of course, he claimed it was different; it was always different for her in the eyes of the men around her. Her brothers could always do as they pleased, but the moment she deviated from what was expected of her, she was punished for it.
“Aye,” she scoffed. “Because I’m a lass.”
“Because ye’ve been sheltered yer entire life!” Tiernan said. “Alaric kent what he was doin’. He had been out in the world an’ he kent that bein’ with Lucia could be dangerous fer him. Aye, it’s true that it worked out, but he could have just as easily died because o’ it an’ the same goes fer ye. Ye cannae be around me, Isabeau. It isnae good fer ye. I’m nae good fer ye.”
“It’s me own decision tae make!” said Isabeau, throwing her hands up in frustration. “Ye cannae make it fer me. I’ve spent me whole life listenin’ tae others an’ doin’ as they pleased. I’ve spent me whole life without any… any free will! I never could have a choice. What little power I have comes from schemin’ an’ manipulatin’ an’ I am tired o’ it. I dinnae wish tae be the perfect lady everyone expects me tae be. I wish tae make me own mistakes an’ learn from them an’ I dinnae care if I’ll be hurt. Everyone gets hurt! At least I’ll ken it was me own decision!”
Isabeau hadn’t realized that she had been shouting until she felt her throat go hoarse, straining to get the words out. The relief that washed over her at having poured her soul out, though, was unlike anything she had felt before. Her shoulders sagged, the fight draining out of her now that she had finally released all this frustration that had been building up inside her for her entire life. She knew that she really didn’t have that much of a say about her future, yet she felt every word that she had uttered deeply. She could have said all this to the council, to her brothers, to her governesses, to everyone who had prepared her for her role as nothing but a wife and a mother to future heirs. Tiernan didn’t deserve to be at the receiving end of her wrath, even if he too was trying to shield her from harm. At least he was doing it out of concern and not because he wanted to use her to his advantage. And yet, the relief she felt was so great that she couldn’t bring herself to feel bad about any of it.
When she met Tiernan’s gaze, she found him staring at her in shock, mouth hanging open, and she could hardly blame him for it. She, too, was shocked by her own reaction, never expecting it to be that strong.
