Page 29 of Knot So Fast
I roll my eyes in disgust.
"Not surprised. Sure, do whatever you guys want. You clearly know what's best for her."
"That's not what I'm trying to project here," Kieran says, but his voice lacks conviction.
"Yeah, I get it," I snap, finally letting my resentment show. "I'm just the Beta with very little money or power in this situation. I love her just as hard as you lot of fucking bastards, but I don't get a say in anything important. I'm just the sidekick who keeps her sane while you guys live your luxury lives, right?"
Kieran tries to argue, opening his mouth to object, but I shake my head and cut him off.
"Nope. You know I'm fucking right, because at the end of the day, while you guys pursue those miserable careers that are so far from what you love and thrive on like crack addicts, I'm here trying to put the pieces back together for the woman WE love."
My voice cracks slightly on the word 'love,' but I push through, determined to get this out.
"When she has panic attacks from virtual racing games that trigger her PTSD, I'm the one there holding her while she hyperventilates. When she wakes up screaming from nightmares about burning cars and broken glass, I'm there. When she's struggling to make things feel normal while smiling at a world that only wants to see her fail, where are you guys?"
Kieran opens his mouth but can't seem to find words to argue with what I'm saying.
The silence stretches between us, heavy with all the guilt and frustration we've been carrying.
"Let's just drop it," I huff finally, knowing this conversation isn't going anywhere productive.
But Kieran surprises me by staying silent for a long moment before whispering something that makes my blood run cold.
"We want to try again."
I open my mouth to respond, then pause as the full meaning of his words registers.
"Are you guys fucking mad?" I ask incredulously. "No, wait—I already know you all have loose screws bordering on insanity, but you're really pushing it now."
Kieran straightens up and turns to look directly at me, his expression more serious than I've ever seen it.
"You of all people know we're not afraid of her parents."
"You should be!" I explode, my voice rising despite my efforts to keep quiet. "Her parents, plus her two best friends' parents who are just as diabolically psychotic and overprotective! Power couples who try to tone down their billionaire statuses and how dangerously lethal their children actually are!"
Kieran immediately puts his finger to his lips, signaling us both to listen for the sound of the shower. We stay quiet for what feels like an eternity, straining our ears to make sure Auren hasn't finished her shower and overheard any of this conversation.
When he's satisfied that we're still safe, Kieran answers in a lower voice.
"We know. We know that her parents will literally have us murdered if we fall for her again and fuck up her recovery. But if I have to continue teaching those stuck-up, bratty-ass spoiled fuckers for one more semester, I'll kill myself. Literally."
I try to speak, but he shakes his head and continues before I can object.
"We're unhappy, Luke. We're fucking tearing apart at the seams. I barely talk to Dex or Caspian anymore, and the twins? They're going to self-destruct if we keep going like this. EvenSenior, who puts on this show of being the perfect champion for the whole world to see."
"It... it can't be that bad," I stammer, though I'm starting to get a sick feeling in my stomach.
"He started drinking again," Kieran says quietly.
The words hit harder than I like to admit.
"Fuck."
"Yeah. It's bad. Really bad."
We hear the shower finally stop, and we share a look that's equal parts panic and resignation.
The conversation we've been having is exactly the kind that could destroy the fragile peace we've all been trying to maintain.
