Page 59 of Snowflakes Over Starr's Fall
“Ladies first,” Jack replied, and he reached for a small, slim box wrapped in heavy gold paper and tied with a silver ribbon. Jenna opened it with both curiosity and trepidation, wondering what it held. Jack leaned forward, a faint smile on his face.
Jenna lifted the lid of the box and looked to see a silver keychain nestled in the white velvet interior. Engraved into the silver were the words “Miller’s Mercantile” in intricate script. “Jack, it’s beautiful,” she said as she lifted it, the silver heavy in her hand. “And so thoughtful. Thank you.”
“Well, you’ve worked hard these last few months,” Jack replied, smiling. “You should be proud of your accomplishments, and I thought you could use it for your store keys.”
“Thank you,” Jenna said again. It was funny, considering how much she’d previously conflated her sense of self with that of the store, but now that it was revamped and doing well, she felt very separate from it. Which had to be a healthy thing, and yet… she couldn’t help but feel that as beautiful—and thoughtful—as the keychain was, and it absolutelywas, there was a tiny part of her that wished Jack had gotten her something a little more… personal. A little moreher.
“And there’s something else, as well,” Jack continued as he handed her another box, this one much larger. “Something of a joke, but I hope you’ll appreciate it.”
“Now I’m curious.” Jenna unwrapped the box and lifted the lid, smothering a laugh when she saw what was inside—a framed crossword made of Scrabble letters, all of words that were meaningful to them. Salmon, Porsche, investment, even shrew, as well as a few others, each clearly chosen with care.
“I hoped we could laugh about it all now,” Jack told her wryly.
“We certainly can,” Jenna replied, smiling. She realized this was the kind of personal, only-between-them present she’d truly wanted, and coupled with the beautiful keychain, it was perfect, and felt like a sign.
“Jack,” she said, looking up from the crossword, “there’s something I need to tell you.”
“And there’s something I need to tell you, too,” he replied, his tone turning serious in a way that made her heart leap.
“Okay.” She let out a laugh that trembled on its last note as she closed the box and put it aside. “Well, let me go first.” As much as she wanted to hear what he had to say, she knew she needed to go first because otherwise she might very well chicken out.
“Ladies first again,” he replied easily, although his expression seemed alert, and Jenna could not decide if that was a good or bad thing.
“Okay. The truth is… what I’ve been wanting to say…” She stopped, already at a loss.Why, she wondered, did this have to be so hard? She was getting unfortunate and uncomfortable flashbacks to this very same kind of moment she’d had with Ryan, when she’d fumbled through how important he was to her, and he’d told her, flatly and unemotionally, he wanted to break up. Not that he’d even phrased it that way, because apparently their relationship hadn’t been significant enough to require breaking up. He’d more clarified that they’d had nothing to begin with. It had been, hands down, the most horrible and humiliating moment of her life, but she was getting over it, Jenna told herself, andthiswas how.
“I’ve come to care about you,” she blurted at last. “A lot. And I know we said we’d see how this goes, play it by ear and all that jazz, but… it feels important to me to let you know where I’ve been going, as it were. That is, where I hope we’ve been going. Together.” Her face was flaming, and she felt as if she could throw up. As far as declarations went, it had been fairly mid, but it had still meant a lot to her, and she was pretty sure Jack had to know that.
The trouble was, Jack hadn’t said a word. Even more worryingly, she couldn’t tell anything from his expression, which was as inscrutable as the day he’d first come into her store, although at least he hadn’t curled his lip. But why wasn’t hesayinganything? She’d just bared her heart, at least for her, and he was just…silent.
“Jenna,” he finally said, his voice gruff. “The thing I need to tell you?—”
Something about his tone made Jenna’s stomach swoop and then hollow out. “Okay,” she managed in little more than a croak. Why did she feel like he was not going to tell her that he cared about her a lot, too? His face was too serious. His voice too low. He hadn’t jumped in with any assurances, and the mood definitely didn’t feel right.
She had a sudden, excruciating certainty that she was about to experience the most hurtful and humiliating moment of her life, parttwo, and this time it would feel so much worse.
“I’ve been offered a job,” Jack told her. “The job of a lifetime really, starting a new investment firm in New York with an old friend. And I said I’d take it?—”
That was all Jenna could bear to hear. She lurched up from the sofa like she’d been prodded by a hot poker.
“Don’t,” she choked out. “Don’t say anything more,please.”
He stretched out one arm toward her. “Jenna?—”
“No.” She really couldn’t take one more syllable. She said she’d cared, and he replied by telling her he’d taken a job over a hundred miles away. No, she definitely did not want to hear anything more. She’dtoldhim what had happened before, and here he was, creating the exact same scenario! Either he was a sadist or the most emotionally unintelligent person she’d ever encountered. Or, the more likely scenario, Jenna realized sickly, was that he just didn’t care.
How stupid could she be,again? Falling for the same kind of guy—rich, powerful, confident, uncaring—twice? Knowing all along that she was doing it and yet convincing herself, so very stupidly, that this time it would be different?
“I’m going to go,” she announced while Jack just stared at her.
“Jenna—”
“No.” She turned on him fiercely, suddenly furious. “Youdon’t get to say a word,” she told him. “You don’t get to tell me what to do or how to feel oranything.” Suddenly, with a savage clarity that came like a bolt of lightning, she realized she could have a moment with Jack that she’d never been able to with Ryan. With Ryan, she’d been so shocked, so devastated, that she’d simply tottered off without a murmur to grieve in private. She’d never had the chance to tell him how much he’d hurt her, how truly awful he was.
Now she did.
“How dare you,” she choked out. “Howdareyou sweep into Starr’s Fall and make me care about you, when you had no intention of caring about me? You were a jerk the first moment I met you, but stupidly I convinced myself you were different! I believed you’d changed, but you clearly hadn’t. You’re still the same self-entitled rich jerk that I thought you were all along.” She shook her head, incredulous and scathing. “You clearly have no compunction with messing with people’s feelings, or maybe it’s just mine.” She tossed her head, defiant now, even with tears streaking down her cheeks. “What was I, Jack, just someone to pass the time with, because you were so bored, out here in the sticks? A hobby, like helping with a store that wasn’t even your own, while you waited for a better offer? Not a very good investment, as it turned out, huh?” she finished with a sneer. “Well, I guess I can thank you for letting me know what you’re really like, before I did something stupid like fall in love with you! Because I didn’t,” she felt compelled to point out. “I might have cared about you, but I was definitelynotin love. I could never be in love with someone who is as—as pompous as to drive a Porsche and wear a Rolex!” She threw the brand names at him like the insults they were meant to be. “And,” she added, her tone turning savage, “someone who neglected his family fortwentyyears just so he could make a boatload of money and feel like he was a big deal.” She said it purely to hurt him, which she knew she had as his face paled, and he pressed his lips together. “You’re such anass!” she stormed, her voice breaking, and then, feeling like there was nothing more to say, she stalked out of the family room, grabbing her coat and purse from the hall, and then walked right out of the house, into the icy twilight of a Christmas that, it turned out, had totally sucked.
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