Page 45 of Snowflakes Over Starr's Fall
The Winter Wonderland Weekend was in less than two weeks, and Jenna was excited for it, more than she ever had been before. Miller’s Mercantile was going to be a big part of the festivities, kicking off the weekend with its grand opening and hosting the dance on the final night. She and Jack had worked all day Sunday, decorating the barn with hay bales and Christmas lights, setting up tables for the potluck dinner food and laying in gallons of eggnog and mulled wine. Afterwards, they’d gone into the kitchen where Jenna made hot chocolate and Jack built a fire.
“Are you going to get a Christmas tree?” he’d asked as Jenna had handed him a mug.
“I don’t know, maybe?” She’d frowned in thought. “I don’t usually.” Even if this year she was definitely feeling more festive.
His eyebrows had risen. “Why not?”
“When you’re on your own… Christmas isn’t all that fun.” She’d curled up on one end of the sofa, cradling her mug in her hands. “What about you? What did you do for Christmas all these years?”
He’d grimaced slightly. “Worked straight through last year. Year before was a solo sail in the Everglades.”
“Why do you look like you regret it now?” Jenna had asked curiously. “It sounds better than Christmas-for-one in New York, if that was the alternative.”
“Well…” He’d paused, staring down into his mug. “I really should have been with my mother. She was all alone for Christmas… and I don’t think I really realized back then how she would decline so much, so quickly. I… I wish I’d had that time with her. I hate thinking of her in that depressing nursing home, alone at Christmas, but back then… I didn’t even give it a thought.”
“Oh, Jack.” Jenna’s heart had both ached and softened at the sight of his eyes shadowed with sorrow, his mouth turned down in guilty regret. She’d covered his hand with her own. “You’re here for her now.”
“Yes…” He sighed his agreement. “And I know that’s what I need to focus on. The present as well as the future, not the past, which I can’t do anything about.”
“Very true.” It was advice Jenna had known she needed to heed herself… and she was trying.
Now as she pulled up in front of Laurie’s store, Jenna told herself to focus on the plans for the weekend, not her burgeoning relationship with Jack. Although she suspected Laurie would want to talk about that more than the Winter Wonderland Weekend, if she knew her friend at all.
“Hey, stranger.” Laurie’s smile was wide, her eyes bright as Jenna let herself into the pet store. Laurie’s dog Max trotted up to her, wagging his tail hopefully, and she bent down to scratch his ears.
“Stranger?” she repeated with a laugh. “I saw you for Thanksgiving.”
“I know, but then you were AWOL all weekend, and I have it on good authority that your car was not in front of the mercantileall daySaturday.”
Jenna laughed again, shaking her head. “Good authority? And who might that be?”
“Liz Cranbury. She came in here for some dog treats for Frou-frou and she told me all about it. So.” Laurie leaned her elbows on the counter as she regarded Jenna with hopeful eagerness. “Let’s hear all the details.”
“About the plans for the weekend?” Jenna answered innocently. “The barn decorating is coming along nicely?—”
“Jenna.” Laurie rolled her eyes. “I couldn’t care less about that right now. Tell me about Jack.”
“How do you know there’s anything to tell?”
“Because you look,” Laurie told her with a grin, “like the proverbial cat who got the cream—or is it a canary?” She frowned. “Or a canary dipped in cream, I don’t know, but I can tell you are practically floating five inches off the ground, sospill.”
Jenna couldn’t help but laugh then. She did feel happy, and she didn’t mind her friends knowing it. It was a fun, fizzy feeling, to be excited, to share her happiness. “Well…” she began, her voice laden with meaning, and Laurie’s eyes widened as she leaned forward.
“Yes?”
“Jack stopped by on Thursday night, when I’d got home after our Thanksgiving dinner. And… one thing led to another… well, basically we argued, and then he just… kissed me.” Jenna let out a happy little giggle.
“That sounds so romantic,” Laurie breathed, her eyes like stars. “And so…? You’re officially dating?”
“Well…” They hadn’t talked about the status of their relationship beyond Jack’s suggestion they “see where this goes,” which was slightly less definitive than Jenna would have liked. “Yes,” she told Laurie. “I guess. Pretty much.”
Laurie frowned. “Pretty much?”
“We’re just seeing how things go, no pressure,” Jenna explained as lightly as she could. “I don’t think either of us wants to rush anything, you know? And I’m trying to be relaxed about it all because before, when I dated Ryan…” She swallowed. She hadn’t told Laurie all that much about her relationship with Ryan, although like everyone else in Starr’s Fall, her friend had probably guessed. Still, talking about it was hard. “I was so intense about it, you know?” she began hesitantly. “I just really, really wanted it to work, and so I became pretty needy and awful, in retrospect. Clinging even though I knew that he hated it. I definitely don’t want to be that way this time around.”
“But last time, the guy was a jerk, and Jack isn’t,” Laurie pointed out. “Besides, you need to be yourself, whatever that looks like.”
“Well… I want to be the best version of myself,” Jenna said, trying to ignore the sudden fluttering of panic in her chest. She knew Laurie had a point; she’d been thinking the same thing herself in regard to her mother, that love was about accepting the worst version of someone, and not just enjoying the best someone could put on with a lot of effort, but…
