Page 63 of Playing for Keeps in Starr's Fall
“Ben?” she called uncertainly. “Is that you?”
“Nope,” Zach called back. Another yelp. Improbably, he found himself grinning.
He heard the sound of footsteps, and then Maggie threw open the door. She was wearing her purple skirt with the blue patches and her hair was tumbled about her face, including that streak of white. She looked flushed and discombobulated and entirely lovely.
“How did you get in?” she asked breathlessly. He held up the key. “Oh.” She pressed her hands to her flushed cheeks and then dropped them. “You drove over here? Then I guess… I guess you didn’t read my message?”
Zach frowned. “What message?”
“On the game chat thing. I typed… well… I guess you’ll read it eventually.” She let out an uncertain, embarrassed laugh.
His curiosity well and truly piqued now, he strode over to the computer, reaching for the mouse.
“Oh…” Maggie practically squeaked as he clicked it to light up the screen. “I don’t… It’s different when you’re right here…”
“Isn’t this what you’re always having to tell teenagers?” he told her, mock-severely, as he turned around. He hadn’t read the message yet, but he was now officially dying of curiosity. “Don’t say something online you wouldn’t say in person. I’m sure you’ve told Ben that at least a million times.”
“Well, yes, but… I would say this in person,” Maggie told him, “but that doesn’t mean it isn’t scary and potentiallyveryembarrassing.” She let out a little laugh that ended in a strangled sound as she ducked her head.
Okay, now he was seriously curious. Zach turned back to the screen and scanned her last message, his heart seeming to squeeze, expand, and turn over all at once as he read the words.
I think it’s time I said all the things I’ve been wanting to say for a long time. That you’re the kindest, truest, and I have to admit, sexiest guy I’ve ever met. I know I’ve backed away and said I’m not ready—and for a while I wasn’t—but even when I was ready, I still acted out of fear. Fear of risking my heart again, because it was only after Matt died that I realized how broken it had become—not from his death, but from what came before. How broken our marriage had become, and how I’d become someone I didn’t even recognize. I know that’s a lot to dump on you now, but I wish I could have explained it before. Maybe I should have said it’s not you, it’s me?? Anyway… it’s been hard to know how to stop acting out of fear, which is probably why I’m typing this rather than saying it to your face. And also because at this point I have no idea how you’ll respond, but I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to say it anyway. You might have moved on, with your cabin and your woodworking and your brand-new life, and that’s great. I really am genuinely so very happy for you, Zach.
She’d pressed send then, and then started to compose another message she hadn’t yet sent:
But I guess I’ve realized that for me to move on, with or without you, I need to say all this. To tell you that I think I’m
It ended there. Slowly, Zach turned around. Maggie was gazing at him with wide eyes, her face pale, her fingers knotted together as she waited for his response to all that she’d typed.
“That you’re…?” Zach prompted. “You didn’t finish.”
She swallowed hard. “You knocked on the door.”
“So what do you think you are…?” he continued, wanting her to finish that very intriguing thought. “‘To tell you that I think I’m…?’” he prompted again softly. “Maggie…?”
“You’re making this very difficult for me,” she whispered, her nervous gaze locked on his face. “Since you have not given me aclueabout how you felt about all the rest, and I said quite a few things there.”
“Well, I like that you think I’m the sexiest guy you ever met,” Zach quipped, a grin tugging at his mouth as he took a step toward her. Happiness was unfurling inside him, spreading through him like he’d swallowed the sun. “But it actually means more to me that you think I’m the kindest.” He reached for her clasped hands, gently prying her fingers apart so he could link them with his own, sliding their palms together. “And I appreciate everything you told me about your marriage and Matt, and we can talk about all that more later, but… to give you a clue, I could have typed a very similar message about you, pretty much word for word, but I decided to come over here in person and tell you instead.”
Maggie’s eyes widened as her fingers tightened on his. “So tell me,” she whispered.
“Okay.” Zach took a deep breath. “A few months ago you asked me why I was interested in you, and I gave you some answers. Those are still true, of course, but now I know so much more. I know how deeply you feel and love and how much you fight to protect those you love. I know you’re willing to admit when you’re wrong and forgive when someone else is. I know you can laugh at yourself but at the same time you feel for people deeply?—”
“Like the aasimar,” Maggie said, and he laughed softly.
“So you did read those descriptions.”
“Yes, and it felt like you’d got right inside my head. Although I hope I’m not as mournful as the shadar-kai, even if you made one for me, and she’s beautiful. I’ve kept her by my bed?—”
“Shadar-kai are strong,” he told her. “They’ve triumphed over their grief, just like you have.”
“Grief really did a number on me,” she confessed quietly. “Especially because it felt so complicated. Matt and I… well, like I said, our marriage was pretty broken. And I was kind of broken… Matt could be controlling, and I guess I let him control me. I became someone I didn’t really like. We didn’t have as strong a marriage as I wished we’d had.”
Zach’s heart ached for her, even as he realized he was unsurprised. “I think I sort of guessed that, by some of the things you said,” he told her gently. “And didn’t say. But I’m sorry for what you went through.”
“That emotional astuteness I still need to credit you with,” she quipped, and he laughed, tugging on her hand to draw her closer. She came, standing before him, her face full of both vulnerability and trust.
“If I’d finished that sentence,” she told him, an honest matter-of-factness to her tone, without any teasing or hesitation, “then I would have said that I think I’m falling in love with you.” She stopped abruptly, waiting for his response.
