Page 53 of Playing for Keeps in Starr's Fall
Nearly two weeks later, he was still reeling from the revelations, as well as the hurt. Maggie might have thumbed a quick text to assuage her conscience—and probably more for Ben’s sake than his—but he was getting pretty tired of rolling over every time someone made an assumption about him. Jenna had shown him he needed to change. So, without realizing it, had Maggie.
“Let me help clean up,” he told her, and she began a fumbling protest before she fell silent and then nodded.
“Thanks. That would be great.” She turned to the kitchen and Zach followed her.
Ben had remained by the big sofa as he continued to put away all the elaborate pieces of RainQuest, while Lynn mumbled something about needing to check on something upstairs, and scurried away. Clearly she was trying to give them some privacy, and Zach wondered what Maggie had told her.
In the kitchen area he started loading cups into the industrial dishwasher.
“Another beast,” Maggie joked with a nod to the big silver machine. “It scares me just as much as the espresso machine.”
“It’s just an appliance,” Zach replied, and he saw Maggie wilt. If she’d been hoping for a bit of banter, he already knew he didn’t have it in him. Not now.
Silently she started collecting cups from the countertops and handing them to him to load. They worked for several minutes in a silence that felt thick with tension. Zach had no intention of breaking it. Maggie had been the one who had said she wanted to talk, so she could talk.
“Look…” she began, just as Zach switched on the industrial dishwasher and the kitchen was filled with the noise of its mechanized roar. Maggie winced, and Zach gave an apologetic grimace. He hadn’t meant to cut her off; it had just happened that way.
“Sorry,” he said gruffly once the dishwasher had finished.
“It’s okay.” She cleared her throat. “All I really wanted to say was I’m sorry for what I said before, you know, back at the general store, about the whole meme thing. I shouldn’t have rushed in with my assumptions the way I did.” She swallowed, clearly forcing herself to meet his gaze. “I’m sorry.”
She waited for his reply, and in truth Zach struggled to think of how to respond. How did he even feel? As far as apologies went, it had been decent enough, if a bit stilted. He didn’t doubt she meant it, and yet it still felt like so little.
“Thanks,” he finally said. “I appreciate that.”
“Um, okay.” Maggie looked disconcerted by his reply, or maybe by his lack of enthusiasm. “Well… I hope you’re not still angry. I mean, I understand why you would have been before, but…” She trailed off, clearly longing for him to fill in the blanks the way he once would have. He would havejumpedto make things easier for her. Smooth out all the bumps, make a wry little joke to pave the way a little more.
Trouble was, he just didn’t feel like it anymore. Not with Maggie, and not with anybody in Starr’s Fall. He was tired of trying to prove himself to this town. To anyone.
“I’m not angry,” he told her. He’d beenhurt, but he was getting over it.
“You don’t sound like you’re not angry,” she replied unhappily. “Zach, I really am sorry…”
“I know.”
She gazed up at him, her dark eyes full of misery and confusion. Zach felt a stirring of sympathy, and for a second he wanted to do nothing more than take her into his arms, kiss her the way he had before, and forget all this stupid drama. It wasn’t who hewas. At least, it wasn’t who he had been.
But he was changing, whether he wanted to or not, and truth be told, he suspected that this kind of change had been a long time coming and was a good thing. But he was sorry for Maggie’s sake, as well as his own. Whatever relationship they might have had felt like a what-could-have-been moment that had most definitely passed.
“Hey, I’ve finished cleaning up.” Ben came into the kitchen, and then faltered. “Um…” He glanced between Zach and his mom, clearly taken aback by the unhappy silence that seemed as if it weighted the very air. “Who died?” he joked, his voice wobbling.
Maggie let out a huff of tired laughter. “Sorry, I’m just exhausted from the day.” She turned to Zach, managing to look directly at him without meeting his eye, which took some skill. “Thanks so much for helping out, Zach.” She could have been talking to any Joe Schmoe of Starr’s Fall, a fact which irritated him even though Zach knew he’d been treating her the same way.
“Zach, why don’t you stay for pizza?” Ben suggested eagerly. “My mom promised takeout tonight because she said she’d definitely be too tired to cook.”
Ben sounded so hopeful that Zach hated to turn him down, but he was about to, for Maggie’s sake, when she chimed in, “Yes, you should stay.” She sounded wooden, but she wouldn’t have said it unless she meant it, and maybe they did have more to say to each other.
“Okay,” Zach said, and smiled at Ben. “But I’m not trying pineapple and black olive pizza.”
“Come on,” Ben laughed back, “you totally should. I bet you’ll love it.”
Zach kept up the banter with Ben as Maggie turned off the lights and they all headed upstairs. He had a feeling this evening was going to be painfully awkward, and also might tempt him to change his mind about Maggie, but he was determined to stay his course.
He wasn’t going to be the stooge of Starr’s Fall any longer, accepting everyone’s insults with a smile, taking everything on the chin like none of it hurt. And he wasn’t going to be the pathetic loser who was still sleeping in his childhood bedroom, taking orders from his big sister like he didn’t have any ideas of his own.
No, what Jenna and Maggie had said to him had been a huge wake-up call. Zach Miller was going to be different… starting now.
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