Page 49 of Playing for Keeps in Starr's Fall
“Yes. Moving on.” Maggie powered off her phone, not wanting the distraction. She felt like a teenaged girl, constantly hitting refresh on her messages, hoping her crush had texted. “Keep going,” she told Ben, and he launched into a description of how potion making worked. Even though she wasn’t really getting the game, Maggie enjoyed the way his eyes lit up and his voice filled with enthusiasm as he talked about it. He’d been so morose and unhappy for so many months—years, even—that seeing him look relaxed and confident was a huge boost. It gave her a needed certainty that moving to Starr’s Fall had been the right thing to do, even if there was a long way to go before they were both fully settled there. And Zach was part of that; at least he had been…
She really needed to make it right between them.
“Mom, are you listening?” Ben broke into her thoughts.
“Yes,” Maggie said quickly. “You were talking about, erm, potion making…?”
“That was, like, three minutes ago. I’m talking about combat now.”
“Combat. Right.” Ben looked at her dubiously and Maggie let out a little laugh. “I am trying, Ben.”
“I know.” He fell silent, his hands resting on the keyboard. “Dad was never interested in RainQuest,” he remarked after a moment, his gaze on the computer screen. “Or me playing it.” He paused, while Maggie waited, her breath held, her heart feeling squeezed. She and Ben had never talked this way about Matt. They hadn’t talked much about him at all, a fact that only now filled her with a guilty unease. Should she have forced those conversations? Why hadn’t they had them?
“Sometimes,” Ben continued, still looking at the screen, “I felt like he didn’t really like me playing it. Like, it was a little too weird and geeky for him, you know?”
“Oh, Ben…”
“Wasn’t it?” Ben turned to look at her, his face full of bleakness. “Sometimes I think Dad wished he had a son like Tyler Gerard.”
Tyler, the star lacrosse player who had bullied Ben relentlessly, simply for being different. “No, Ben,” Maggie told him forcefully. “Dad would have never wanted that.” She paused, needing to order her thoughts because it was so important she got this right. “I think sometimes he struggled with how to relate to you,” she explained carefully, “simply because he wasn’t into the kinds of things you were. But he loved you. He always loved you. I know that absolutely.”
“Yeah.” Ben didn’t sound particularly mollified. “I mean, that’s kind of a parent’s job, right? But… I wish he’dlikedme more.”
“Oh, Ben.” Maggie didn’t know what to say to that. She couldn’t deny it, not entirely, because she wasn’t all that sure that Matt had likedher, even if he’d loved her, especially as the years had gone on and he’d become so focused on his ambition and making sure their lifestyle matched it.
“I’m not always sad he’s gone,” Ben blurted. He hunched down in his seat, drawing the neck of his sweatshirt over the bottom of his face as if to make himself disappear.
Maggie’s heart ached with sorrow for her son. How long had Ben been keeping this secret? “That’s okay, Ben,” she said softly. She thought of what Laurie had told her; relationships, especially the most important ones, were never straightforward. “It’s okay to have complicated feelings. You don’t have to feel guilty about that.” She rested a hand on his shoulder. “I’m glad you told me.” A moment passed where neither of them spoke, and Maggie just let it be. Eventually she took her hand away and Ben sat up, pulling his sweatshirt back down and wiping his eyes like he had a speck in them, although Maggie knew better.
“Now,” she said, with as much enthusiasm as she could muster. “Tell me again about the combat skills. My character can use a morning star but not a halberd?”
Ben glanced at her, a small smile curving his mouth. “Yeah, that’s right,” he told her. “I think you’re catching on.”
17
Maggie gazed at her reflection as butterflies swarmed and swirled in her stomach. The café’s grand opening was in just under an hour and she had no idea if it was going to be a success, a complete flop or something depressingly in between and mediocre. What was occupying her thoughts even more than that was that she had no idea if Zach was going to come.
Two days ago she’d worked up the courage to go to Miller’s General Store to see him. She’d stepped inside, browsing the aisles for a few minutes while she’d tried to look discreetly around for him, but he hadn’t been anywhere to be seen.
Jenna had been behind the counter, though, and so when Maggie had taken a couple of cans of beef barley soup up to the cash register—bought only as a pretext to be in the store—she’d forced herself to ask casually, “Is Zach around? I haven’t seen him in a while.”
“Nope, he’s gone into Hartford,” Jenna replied as she scanned the soup. “Probably on another date.”
Maggie had frozen for a moment before she’d murmured something nonsensical, then taken her soup and scurried out of the store. Adate. Well, why shouldn’t he, she told herself. He had every right. It wasn’t as iftheyhad been dating, after all. She recited all the reasons not to be hurt, but still, it had stung, more than a little.
Zach still hadn’t replied to her message, and she hadn’t seen him for nearly two weeks. It was the middle of March, spring getting closer every day, a time for fresh starts, and she clearly needed to have one when it came to Zach Miller. She told herself all this, and she did her best to make herself believe it.
Now, with the grand opening looming, Maggie doubted Zach would show up. While she understood why he stayed away, she was still disappointed, not just for herself, but for Ben. She wished Zach could show up for him, at least, especially since he’d read her apology.
A knock sounded on the door of the café, and Maggie’s heart lifted.Could it be…?
Ben beat her downstairs, clearly hoping for the same thing. But when he unlocked the door, it wasn’t Zach standing there with his crooked smile and gorgeous eyes.
“Lynn!” Maggie hurried forward to liberate a giant sheet cake from her sister’s arms. “You’re early!”
“I thought you might need some help setting up,” Lynn replied. She glanced around the café as Penny leapt down from one of the sofas and wound her way between her ankles, tail high and swishing. “Wow, this place looks amazing. Great job, guys. And who’s this?” She leaned down to pet Penny.
“Penny,” Ben told her. “We just got her a couple of days ago.”
