Page 13 of The Girl with a Secret
Since she’d met Sophie on the first evening, or even since she’d seen her as they’d boarded in the embarkation shed, she’d felt as if she’d found a true kindred spirit. A real one, not the kind of sham one she’d put her trust in before, with Ernst. Not that she wanted to think about Ernst now, she thought with a shudder. But to lose Sophie, the closest friend she’d ever had…
And yet, Rosa thought, of course Sophie should go if she had the opportunity. There was no question about that, none at all, in her own mind. She knew that full well.
Sophie gazed between them all, her eyes filled with tears. “My stepmother…” she began, and then had to stop again.
Rosa tutted, and wished she hadn’t, but she felt as if something inside her was about to break.
“My father has connections in America,” Sophie explained in a rush. “A family in Washington. My stepmother sent a cable… she has arranged for me to leave the ship… to go to America…” She trailed off at the look of shock Rosa knew was on all three of their faces.
So, it was just as she had suspected, although she hadn’t considered that Sophie might go alone, leaving her entire family behind. “You’re…leaving?” she managed.
Sophie nodded.
“When?” Rachel asked, still looking stunned.
“Tonight. Very soon, in fact. I came to… to say goodbye.” Her voice caught as she glanced at Hannah, who Rosa realized still hadn’t spoken. She’d folded her arms, and her lips were pursed, her eyes narrowed nearly to slits. She was angry, Rosa realized, and she probably felt betrayed, just as she did, even if there was no reason to. Sophiehadto take this chance. “I’m so sorry…” Sophie choked.
“How can you beleaving,” Hannah spat suddenly, “when Lotte and I are not able to? My father is in Havana! He’sright there!” She flung one hand out, a shudder going through her whole body as she struggled not to cry.
“I’m so sorry,” Sophie said again, wringing her hands. “I didn’t want to go, but my stepmother—Margarete—she insisted.” She touched her cheek, and Rosa saw the faint, pink imprint of a hand. Had Margareteslappedher? “She said it would be wrong for menotto go, after the sacrifices my family has made. It’s what my father would have wanted?—”
“It’s what weallwant,” Hannah burst out bitterly. “Lucky you, though.”
“Hannah.” Rachel sounded quietly reproving. “Sophie must take this chance. You would take it, if you’d been offered it. You know you would.”
They all would, Rosa thought, yet she didn’t have the strength to say anything to Sophie, to reassure her that she understood. She felt bitterly disappointed, and yes, betrayed, and also guilty for being so selfish as to resent Sophie for finding her freedom. If she’d been given this same chance, Rosa knew, she would have taken it with both hands, without a single second’s hesitation.
“I don’t want this to be farewell forever,” Sophie insisted, her voice breaking. “You three have been my best friends. I haven’t…” She paused, struggling to keep her voice even. “Mybest friend back in Berlin, Ilse, was a gentile. After the race laws, she turned her back on me completely. I… I never had another friend like her, not until I met you three.Please…”
Rosa couldn’t take anymore. Her resentment evaporated like the mist over the harbor, in the face of her friend’s obvious distress. “Oh, Sophie,” she said quietly. “I hope and pray we’ll see each other again, as well.” She could not truly imagine such a thing happening, but she hoped it might, one day.
“Listen,” Sophie said. “I have a jewel, an emerald, from my mother.” She held up a little bag, made of blue velvet. “I split it into four shards, so we can each have a piece to remember one another by. And one day—one day—we’ll meet again.” She gazed at them all defiantly. “We will.”
Rosa frowned. “You should keep any jewels,” she said, nodding to the bag. “You might need them.” Even if Sophie was getting off this wretched ship, the future would still be terribly uncertain.
“No.” Sophie shook her head, seeming vehement. “I want us each to have a piece. A talisman of sorts. And when we’re together again—and we will be—we’ll fit the pieces back together. We’ll be whole again.”
“Oh, very well,” Hannah replied, sounding restive; Rosa suspected she was trying to hide her anxiety. “It’s a bit dramatic, but if you insist.”
Carefully, Sophie withdrew the jewel’s shards, jagged and green, and handed them solemnly to each woman. Rosa studied the piece of emerald resting in the palm of her hand, glinting under the light of the lamp, and wondered if she would ever see Sophie again. She would be in America, and Rosa—she would be… where? In Germany? Somewhere else? Still on this ship? She had no idea, and that felt terrifying. The future loomed in front of her like a gloomy, endless fog, entirely unknown.
She closed her fingers over the emerald, letting the jagged edge of the jewel bite into her skin. They would see each other again, she vowed. She’d make sure of it. She wouldn’t let this ship, these circumstances, defeat her.Them. Somehow, some way, she would triumph. They all would… and they would find each other again, because, Rosa knew, these were the dearest friends she’d ever had.
“How on earth did you manage to split it?” Rachel asked as she glanced down at her own shard. “Emeralds are almost as hard as diamonds.”
“It wasn’t easy,” Sophie replied. “But my father had brought jeweler’s tools.”
“Still,” Rachel remarked, her eyebrows raised, “you must have had to give it a good whack.”
It didn’t matter how it was split, Rosa thought, only that it was, and that they would each have their own precious piece to remind them of each other. “And now what?” she asked, gazing down once more at the splinter of emerald in the palm of her hand. She wanted to be practical, to make a plan. “How on earth will we ever find each other again? We don’t even know where we’re going.”
“I’ll send a cable when I arrive, so you know my address,” Sophie replied quickly. “And you can write to me, with your own addresses, when you know them. Please write,” she implored. “Let me know when you’re settled, so I can write you back. We must keep in touch. Wemust.”
“And one day,” Rachel finished softly, “we’ll meet again. Where?”
“In New York?” Rosa suggested, managing to make her tone wry when, in truth, she simply felt frightened, and worse, despairing. “Somewhere in America, where we’ll all be living.”
A brief silence rested on the little group, and Rosa knew her light words hadn’t fooled anyone. No one knew where they would be… or if they would even still be alive.
