Page 11 of The Girl with a Secret
Her father’s eyes narrowed briefly to ice-blue slits before his fleshy lips turned upward in a steely smile. “Is that a hornets’ nest you wish to prod, my dear?” he asked pleasantly. “For you had some rather intimateconnectionsyourself.”
Rosa flushed and looked away. She’d been stupid to say anything; it was just that her father’s arrogance got to her after a while, even though she knew she shouldn’t let it.Are you really any better? she silently mocked herself, which made her flush all the more in shame. She had to take a few steadying breaths before she could manage a reply.
“There’s no need to bring any of that up,” she stated quietly, looking down at her lap so her father wouldn’t see the miserable expression on her face. “You know it’s over.”
“You were the one who forced the issue,” he pointed out in that same, dangerously pleasant voice. “If we’re sent back to Germany, Rosa, I imagine you could have quite atouchingreunion with dear Ernst.”
At that awful prospect, Rosa’s stomach heaved, and she had to press her hand to her middle to keep the few sips of coffee she’d had down. She could not bear even to think about such a thing.
“Rosa!” Rachel walked up to their table, smiling, and Rosa had to force a smile onto her own stiff lips. She didn’t think Rachel had overheard their conversation, but she shuddered to think what conclusions she might draw if she had. She liked the other woman, with her dark blue eyes and her tranquil expression, and was glad that she’d joined their little friendship circle.
Married to a man who had been imprisoned at Dachau until just a few weeks ago, Rachel had a surprising and enviableplacidity about her demeanor. Her husband, Franz, had, like Sophie’s father, become anxious about the lamentable state of affairs on the ship and was often wandering away, lost in his own dazed world, barely uttering a word when he was found and led back, trotting next to his wife with a vacant look on his face. Rachel never seemed particularly distressed by such episodes, always speaking tenderly to him, with the patience of a mother with her child. It both saddened and heartened Rosa, to see them together, and she half-wished she possessed the same kind of calm equanimity about the people in her own life.
“I was wondering where you were,” Rachel continued, a slight furrow between her eyebrows as she glanced between Rosa and her father, no doubt sensing the tense undercurrents that still pulsated between them. “Herr Doktor,” she greeted him with a nod. “I hope you are keeping well?”
“As well as can be expected, considering these trying circumstances.” Her father flashed Rachel a quick, gleaming smile, reverting to his charming form with disquieting ease. “How is your husband, Herr Blau, keeping?”
“Like you, as well as can be expected. We all just want to hear some news.”
“I wish I had some to give you on this occasion, but I’m afraid at the moment the passenger committee knows little more than you do.”
Rosa watched, a sardonic twist to her lips, as her father’s chest swelled slightly; he loved any opportunity to remind everyone he was one of the select members of the passenger committee, who had the captain’s ear on so many matters, little good it seemed to have done anyone. She had to suppress a smile as she saw a flicker of amusement flash through Rachel’s blue eyes before she nodded soberly.
“It must be quite a daunting responsibility, to represent all the passengers and their views,” she remarked, and with a jolt,Rosa wondered if Rachel, always so kind and calm, was actually being gently sarcastic. But no, surely not…!
“Indeed, it is,” her father replied with a sagacious nod. “Indeed, it is.”
Rosa didn’t think she could stomach any more of his unrelenting pontificating. Abruptly, she rose from the table. “Were you on your way to see Sophie and Hannah?” she asked Rachel. She’d still been half-avoiding her friends, not wanting to darken their moods with her own worries, but now she felt she needed a respite from her father—and his mocking threats.If we’re sent back to Germany, Rosa, I imagine you could have quite a touching reunion…
“Yes…” Rachel glanced uncertainly between Rosa and her father, who had remained seated, his charming smile starting to wilt a little at its edges.
“I’ll come with you,” Rosa said quickly. She tossed her father a careless glance. “You can keep an eye on Mother, since you always seem so concerned about her,” she added, parroting his earlier words to her back at him. She didn’t miss the flash of anger in his eyes as she strode quickly away.
“I won’t ask,” Rachel murmured as they made their way to the reading room, where Sophie and Hannah were, attempting to entertain Heinrich and Lotte. “Everyone’s tempers are fraying these days, aren’t they?”
“Yours isn’t,” Rosa replied, trying to sound lightly wry and failing. “In any case, I’m afraid it’s more than that,” she continued, as she looked away. “I’ve never got on with my parents, and I don’t suppose I ever will.”
To her surprise, Rachel stopped right there in the corridor, and laid a hand on Rosa’s arm. “They are yourfamily, Rosa,” she admonished gently, her deep blue eyes crinkling at the corners, “and they are all you have now. My own parents are dead, and I regret every cross word I ever spoke to them. Now more thanever, you need your family about you. Don’t jettison your closest relationships out of mere perversity.” Her lips curved in a small, understanding smile. “You know what they say.Das Kind mit dem Bade ausschütten.”
“Don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater?” Rosa let out a hard little laugh as she gently but deliberately shook off Rachel’s arm. “There’s small chance of that. They chucked the baby out with the bath a long time ago. It’s not been my doing, Rachel, it’s theirs.”Or it was mostly, she told herself.
Rachel let out a quiet sigh, and Rosa suddenly felt childish, as if she’d had a temper tantrum, pouting and stamping her foot. She didn’t like to think she’d disappointed her friend. “Even so,” Rachel stated quietly. “Even so.”
Sophie was sitting in a quiet corner of the reading room as they arrived, looking tense and anxious, while Franz, Rachel’s husband, sat nearby, a book abandoned in his lap as he stared dreamily off into the distance.
“Where’s Hannah?” Rosa asked, bending to kiss her friend’s cheek. She’d been trying to keep vigil with Sophie as much as she could, although it was difficult, with the demands of her family. “And Heinrich and Lotte?”
“Hannah took them both swimming. Heinrich has been fussing terribly about going in the pool, but it’s so crowded now, and he’s not the strongest swimmer. I haven’t wanted to take him.” She sighed, tucking a stray blond tendril behind her ear. “That’s the least of my worries now, though.”
“Has there been any news of your father?” Rachel asked as she joined them, having ordered coffee and cake.
“No, not since yesterday.” Sophie shook her head. “He’s still in hospital. They won’t tell us more than that.”
Rachel sighed as she glanced around the reading room with its various clusters of morose-looking passengers, her gaze resting briefly on her husband, her expression becomingmomentarily tender before she turned back to her friends. “Does the captain have a plan, do you think?” she asked.
Sophie shrugged, and Rosa followed suit. No one knew anything.
“What happens,” Sophie wondered aloud after a moment, “if my father is still in hospital when we leave?” Her lips trembled and she pressed them together. “I’d like to think he’d be safe,” she’d continued quietly, “but I just don’t know…”
