Page 54 of Sunset at Embthwaite Farm
“Mum, please.” Rachel held up a hand to stem the tide of apologies that always rose to her lips during conversations like these. “You don’t need to say that. We get it.”
“Yes,” Harriet chimed in feelingly, “we do. And this James sounds like a real prat. I’m so sorry.”
“But the thing,” Anna remarked after a moment, “is that he really wasn’t. He really did seem like such a lovely, warm, genuine person. I just…I just don’t understand it.”
“Why don’t you call him?” Rachel suggested.
“I have called him,” Anna replied. She hadn’t got to that part of her story. “Twice. And tonight, he finally texted me back, with two words. ‘I’m sorry.’” Both her daughters winced visibly, which actually made Anna laugh. “I know,” she agreed. “Painful, right?”
And yet there was something rather wonderful about being able to share this heartache with her daughters, to chat and commiserate and just enjoy each other’s company, despite the disappointment, the sorrow, the grief.
Small mercies, Anna thought. Silver linings.
“Why don’t you text him back?” Harriet suggested, sounding rather bolshie after two and a half glasses of wine. “Ask him what he meant by his apology? Make him spell it out.” She pointed a finger at Anna. “For your sake, Mum. You deserve a proper reply.”
“Yes,” Rachel chimed in. “You do!”
“I think ‘I’m sorry’ says it all…” Anna protested, admittedly rather feebly.
“No, it bloody doesn’t,” Rachel insisted. “It’s a cop-out, and you deserve more. I mean, he ghosted you for three days, right when you were burying your ex-husband, and then texts ‘I’m sorry’ and nothing else? Like, what even is that?”
“When you put it that way…” Anna murmured. She was on a third glass of wine herself and was feeling a little reckless. Her daughters’ determined vindication of her was a salve to her soul, and it gave her some much-needed courage.
“So, are you going to do it?” Harriet asked. “Text him?”
“I don’t know…”
“What have you got to lose?” Rachel countered. “Especially if it’s already over? Come on, Mum. I know you’ve learned that running away is never the answer.”
Ouch. “I’m not the one running away here,” she replied mildly, but she did take the point. When she’d kissed James, it had been because she’d wanted to take control of her life. Not be so darned passive all the time, letting things just happen to her. Maybe her girls were right…and she did deserve a reply.
“All right, fine,” she said, and both Harriet and Rachel cheered.
Anna, knowing she was more than a little tipsy but still determined to do this, reached for her phone. Hesitated.
“Keep it brief,” Rachel advised. “You don’t want to do a big messy emotional thing over text.”
“No, definitely not,” Harriet agreed. “Succinct is best.”
“And no emojis,” Rachel warned. “That’s so middle-aged.”
Anna laughed. “I am middle-aged,” she reminded them. “And so is he. But I’m not really in an emoji sort of mood.” After a few moments’ reflection, she finally typed out her response, recklessly pressing send before either Rachel or Harriet could weigh in.
What exactly are you sorry for? And don’t you think I deserve more of a reply than that?
“Nice,” Rachel approved as Anna tossed her phone aside. “That was very girl boss, Mum.”
“Girl boss!” Anna let out a huff of laughter. “Well, I’m not entirely sure I know what that means, although I can guess.”
“Were you hoping it would become something serious?” Harriet asked. “With you in Stroud and this guy up here…”
This felt as good a time as any to talk about what she’d been thinking. “Actually,” Anna said, “I was thinking about moving up to Mathering. Permanently, I mean. Not because of James, but because of you two. I wanted to be closer to you…if you wouldn’t mind that. I promise not to get in your space—”
“Mind?” Harriet repeated, looking both startled and pleased. “No, I wouldn’t mind. Would you, Rachel?”
Rachel shook her head. “Definitely not. In fact, I’d quite like it.” She ducked her head, seeming uncharacteristically shy. “We have a lot of lost years to make up for, after all.”
“That’s sorted, then.” Anna smiled at them both. She wouldn’t think about the possibility of running into James—or Jane—right then. Mathering was big enough for all of them…she hoped.
