Page 34 of Sunset at Embthwaite Farm
“It sounds,” he replied after a moment, “as if you’re thinking about moving to Mathering. Or,” he corrected, while Anna tried to figure out how she felt about that, “at least move from Stroud, maybe closer to your daughters.” He raised his eyebrows. “As someone who has done it, I must say, I think it makes sense.”
“Yes, I can see how it would for you,” Anna replied slowly. She took a sip of wine, gazing into the glowing depths of the fire as she tried to envision living the rest of her life in Mathering. It was oddly difficult to imagine, because this place was so tangled up with the past and all its painful memories.
“But not for you?” James filled in gently, breaking into her thoughts.
Anna turned back to him. He looked relaxed, one arm still stretched along the back of the sofa, his head cocked thoughtfully, but there was also an alertness to his expression that made her think he really did want to know the answer.
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I lived here for twenty years…and they weren’t all that happy.” Although since returning, she acknowledged fairly, she had remembered some happy times. It was just that so much of her marriage had the sepia tint of sorrow to it.
“That may be so,” James answered after a moment, “but what about reshaping the future?” He paused, his gaze steady on hers over the rim of the wine glass. “Or are the memories too painful?”
Were they?Anna considered the question. Since returning to Mathering, she’d made so many strides towards healing her relationship with her daughters. She’d reconnected with people, too, like her old neighbour Diana. And she liked both Quinn and Ben and wanted to get to know them better.
“I don’t know,” she told James again. “I’d like to think that they weren’t, or at least they don’t have to be, because I don’t want to be shaped or controlled by my past. And a lot of good things have happened while I’ve been here, even though it’s been hard. Maybe I need to return to Stroud to figure it out,” she finished. “I’m actually planning to go there tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” James did a double take.
Anna hastened to add, “Yes, just for the day. I don’t want to leave my family for longer than that, but I’d like to get a few of my things.”
“That’s got to be an eight-hour round trip,” he remarked, frowning, and Anna grimaced.
“Probably more like nine. It’s going to be a very long day of driving, I’m afraid.”
“I could go with you,” James said suddenly, seeming to surprise them both with the entirely unexpected offer.
Anna simply stared at him, having no idea how to respond.Go with her…?
“Sorry,” James said with an abashed laugh. “That clearly shocked you. I just meant that it seems a pity to have to do all that driving by yourself. If I went with you, I could share the driving, and you’d have some company, if you wanted it, that is. But feel free to tell me absolutely not. I wouldn’t blame you.”
“I…I don’t know what to say,” Anna replied, still startled. “You have shocked me, mainly because that’s such a generous offer when you barely know me—”
“I don’t feel as if I barely know you,” James interjected quietly. “I haven’t felt that way since I first saw you in the village hall, trying to figure out that quiz.” He paused, ducking his head before returning his resolute gaze to her. “Maybe that’s mad, but it’s how I feel. Or how I don’t feel, I suppose.” He fell silent, taking a sip of wine, his gaze remaining steady on her.
Anna’s mind was spinning. She knew exactly what James meant, because she felt it, too. Like sheknewthis man…even when she didn’t. It wasn’t anything as fanciful or foolish as love at first sight, but something weirdly almost deeper.
But did she want to spend nine hours in the car with him?
A sudden, heady reckless, perhaps fuelled by half a glass of wine, fizzed through Anna. She lifted her chin, smiling as she met his gaze.
“All right,” she told him. “I’ll take you up on that. Let’s do it.”
Chapter Fourteen
In the greylight of a cold, drizzly morning, the heady recklessness Anna had felt last night was replaced by a wary uncertainty that, when she let herself think about it too much, bordered on something close to terror. After she’d agreed to James’s offer to accompany her to Stroud, they’d ended chatting about desultory things for the rest of the evening—movies and hobbies and even the weather. It was as if they’d skated too close to the edge of a yawning precipice, and then, by mutual, silent agreement, decided to inch back, just a little, whether for form’s or sanity’s sake, Anna wasn’t sure, but she’d been relieved.
She’d left fairly early, just after nine, claiming she needed her sleep for the big drive tomorrow, and in any case, they’d have plenty of time to talk in the car.
“Are you sure about this?” she’d asked him frankly as he’d helped her on with her coat. “Coming to Stroud, I mean. It is a long way, and I would absolutely not blame you one bit for backing out.”
“I’m not going to back out.” James’s voice was as warm as his hands as he slipped her coat onto her shoulders, resting them there for just a split second before he stepped away. “I had a lovely time tonight, Anna, and I’ll see you tomorrow, bright and early.”
Bright and early was eight o’clock, as Anna headed across the moors that looked soggy under a damp grey sky. She’d packed snacks and a flask of coffee and in something of a panic, had hoovered out her car. James had offered to take his SUV, but Anna couldn’t justify adding hundreds of miles onto his car when he was already being so kind.
Her stomach was a swirl of butterflies as she pulled up into the courtyard of James’s house. The barn conversion looked even more magnificent in the daylight, with the moors stretching out all around it; she saw several rattan sofas and chairs on the deck, along with a hot tub, and for a second, she imagined lounging in its bubbly depths with James…but no. She could not think that way, not when she was about to spend the entire day with this man.
She’d barely turned off the car when James stepped outside, ready to go. He was wearing corduroy trousers and a checked shirt with a fleece gilet underneath a waxed jacket and wool scarf, every inch the dashing country gentleman.
“No second thoughts, then?” Anna called out as she got out of the car. She’d taken care with her appearance, trying for a similar country casual look, with an oversized cable-knit sweater and skinny jeans with knee-high leather boots.
