Page 35 of Gladiator's Captive
“I worked on the transports in the garage. They’re old and the deserters didn’t care for them correctly, but I managed to make one of them safe for us.”
Some of the warmth left my belly at the mention of the dangerous road ahead. “How far is it, this Tartarus?”
Rager used a long knife to open one of the cans, then pushed it toward me. I eyed the contents suspiciously, but smiled when I recognized the smell ofshawofruits in syrup. I used my fingers to fish out one long green piece of soft, fragrant flesh and popped it in my mouth.
“The exact location of the city is not known to me,” Rager admitted, shoving one piece of fruit from his own can into his mouth. A shadow passed over his features but it was gone soon. “But I know where to find it. This is how the city stays safe from the Empire. The location of the city is never revealed before whoever seeks it is too far gone into the desert to go back.”
Silence fell between us as what Rager was telling me became more real. Ours was a one-way ticket. No way back meant death for both of us if Rager was wrong.
“Are you scared?”
The question shocked me. I locked gazes with Rager and was a little surprised to realize that no, I wasn’t scared.
“I trust you.” This was the simple truth. I trusted him with my life. “If you say we’ll find the location of Tartarus, then we’ll find it.”
Rager’s eyes shone briefly and his hand shot out. Long fingers wrapped around my nape and he pulled me in, then placed a firm kiss on my lips. I kissed him back, fire spreading in my body at the contact of his mouth on my lips. A few seconds later, Rager pulled back. He braced his forehead on mine as he ended the kiss.
“Little girl.” There was a growl in his words, and it sent a deep shiver through my entire body. “We don’t have time for games, but oh, would I enjoy it.”
He smiled against my face and the feeling of it was like sunshine on my skin.
“I know you don’t want to tell me your real name,” I said before I could stop myself. “But I would like to know you anyway. The real you, the one before the arena.”
Rager’s entire body became so still the only movement I could see on him was the way a vein pulsed at his temple in a steady staccato beat. I knew what I was asking was painful. The Muharib had been almost wiped out as a species when they refused to bow down to the Galactic Empire’s rule. The war between their small nation and the Empire had been long and bloody. They were a warrior species, strong and capable. Proud, maybe too much. Too much to bend their knees and accept the dominion of the Empire over their planet and their people.
And the price had been their lives.
“Why would you want to know about my life before I became a slave for your father?” There was no bite in Rager’s voice despite the cruelty of his words, only a deep kind of sadness. The sadness of one who knew what he had lost and who knew there was no going back home. There was no home for the Muharib, not anymore. Their entire planet had been destroyed, rendered uninhabitable as the Galactic Empire plundered the rich mineral deposits under the surface.
All that was left was a sterile crust where once the Muharib lived as a proud warrior nation.
“You say I am yours.” I reached across the table as I placed my hand on his forearm. It was large and sinuous with muscles as Rager tensed but he did not pull it back. “You know everything of me. That my mother died when I was little, giving birth to a baby brother she took to the grave with her. That I was cast out of my father’s home the very next day, sent to a boarding school for high-born girls. High-born and unwanted girls, just like me. I only returned to Arenius’ home a few weeks before your escape, when my father had finally found a use for his daughter. This was my life. Nobody ever loved me after my mother died, nobody ever cared or let me care about them.”
I choked at the loneliness of what I described to Rager. I had never formulated it quite this way, but now that I was explaining, I understood how true it was. And how desperate my heart had been to find a home, any home. And now that it had, I didn’t care that Rager was an outlaw, didn’t care if we’d have to live on the run. He might not love me, might never love me. He might not even know how, or couldn’t.
But he cared, and that was enough.
“I am sorry for that.” Rager’s words were simple, but their effect was as ravaging as if he had punched me in the gut. A stone settled in my stomach and emotions welled in my throat. I looked at my hands, not wanting Rager to see the tears that were threatening to spill from my eyes.
“Look at me.” The familiar commanding was back, but there was warmth in there, too. “Serena, I mean it.”
I bit the inside of my cheek until blood spilled on my tongue, but I looked up. My tears felt cold and wet as they trailed down my cheeks, but I left them there, unattended.
As we locked gazes, the Muharib and I, things shifted between us, wordlessly.
“I was a general in the Muharib army during the war,” Rager began, his voice soothing the edges of my pain. “A thousand warriors fought under my command, with more bravery than anything you have ever seen in the arena.
“In the end, it didn’t matter.” There was bitterness in Rager’s voice now, a wound that cut too deep to ever close. “This is what I learned the day I was captured. The day the Muharib lost the war. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter how much you want something, how much you deserve to win, no matter how honorably you fight. Strength is the only thing that matters in the end.”
There was loathing in Rager’s voice. Loathing and guilt, boiling just under the surface. Rager’s eyes became distant and I knew he didn’t see the dirty, dark walls of the outpost anymore. No, whatever Rager was seeing was far away, long gone to ashes in the wake of the Galactic Empire. The same Galactic Empire that had made my father a rich man.
“You should hate me,” I whispered, new tears running down my cheeks, unchecked. I had done nothing to Rager and his people, but my family had prospered from their misery. All citizens of the Galactic Empire were guilty, one way or another.
“I have bathed in hate for so long.” Rager reached for my cheek, his thumb wiping the salty wetness away. “You’re the one who made me feel more than that. For the first time in years, I don’t feel hate. All I feel is hope.”
Rager pulled me closer and placed a soft but firm kiss on my wet lips. The taste of my tears spread in my mouth and it washed some of the pain away. I hadn’t even realized how scared I was that he would hate me for who I was.
“Now, I would love nothing more than to prove to you how much I don’t hate you for the crimes of your father, but we do have a long road ahead of us.” Rager pulled back and he smiled again, the sight of it making my guts ooze with warmth. “And the illegal shipment of weapons the deserters stole should be enough to convince them we belong in Tartarus.”
