Page 24 of Venomous Heart
Arlen spoke her name and her head snapped up. Fire seared her cheeks as he lifted an eyebrow. He had seen the way she’d been gawking at him. Shame made her turn her back to him and her mind raced to find something to say. Anything.
“What are you doing here?” She regretted asking as soon as the words left her lips. “I mean, I didn’t know you’d taken his private apartments. I should have known. They’re the best, so it’s only normal they should go to the Commander.”
Arlen didn’t answer her, but she heard him moving behind her. He was surprisingly silent for a man his size, but then, Eoks were predators. They moved without alerting their prey—until it was too late.
“Why did you come here?”
There was no hostility in his voice, no anger. It made her want to answer. To make him understand what being here made her feel like.
“He used to take me up here to look at it.” Ava pointed to the portrait. “Do you know what he used to call me? His perfect little toy. That’s what I was to him.”
“Did you love him?” The question hurt, more than it should have. Because there was truth in it.
“When I was very young, perhaps,” she admitted with a shaky breath. “He was all I had. The servants who took care of me hated me, all of them. I never understood why. But not Knut. Knut was the only one who loved me. Or so I thought. He dressed me in the best clothing, gave me the best food, had tutors teaching me all day. It was a long time before I understood what he wanted from me.”
“There never was any buyer for you, was there?”
Ava closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around her chest to keep the pain at bay but it was no use.
“It’s just like he said.” She shook her head, then forced herself to open her eyes. The portrait looked down at her with its sad, angry eyes. “I was his perfect little toy.”
She had never told anyone, not even Uril.
“But you resisted, didn’t you?” Arlen’s voice was a velvet blade, just behind her. The heat from his body radiated through her back as though he were embracing her from a distance.
“Yes, I did. Every day. Until he cast me out, along with Uril. I’ve been caring for the humans as their doctor ever since.”
“It takes a lot of strength to resist something like that.”
Arlen’s hand closed on her shoulder, and Ava turned to meet his gaze. He stood just behind her, still only clad in the small towel. His flesh was like a magnet for her eyes, and she caught herself staring at his chest again.
“So many.” She reached out and her fingertip brushed the marks on his bicep. As her skin came into contact with his, Arlen inhaled sharply through clenched teeth, but didn’t flinch away. She shivered just thinking about the ungodly amount of pain it must have caused, and the willpower it must have taken to keep going, to keep hacking at his own skin like that. Cut after cut, blood pouring and yet not stopping until every inch was covered in raw flesh. “Why would you do something like that to yourself?”
His face was impassive as she touched his skin, her fingers becoming bolder, her touch less and less light.
“An Eok warrior has to master pain if he wants to survive.” The answer was matter-of-fact, and it chilled her soul even more. “Pain is just another sensation, a shadow, once you learn to embrace it.”
Her hand closed around his arm to feel his strong muscles rippling under the thick skin. She was surprised at her own boldness, and no matter how much she tried to make herself stop, she couldn’t. It was like her body craved Arlen’s touch and she was powerless to stop it.
“It must be good, to never hurt,” she said in a dreamy voice. “To never be afraid.”
Arlen’s hand closed around her wrist, but instead of pushing it away, he held it fast.
“I didn’t say I don’t feel it.” Something deep and wounded clouded his eyes, but his expression stayed impassive. “There are many ways in which an Eok can be hurt. Physical pain just isn’t one of them.”
Ava inched closer as though pulled by an invisible string. Their bodies were almost touching now and, as she looked up, Arlen stared down at her. His features weren’t stiff and expressionless anymore. Hunger and pain were evident in his eyes and there was something vulnerable there. Something that made her want to take that pain away.
“You lost someone, didn’t you?”
Arlen closed his eyes like he’d received a blow, then opened them again. He didn’t answer, but he bent down. His nostrils flared like he was smelling her breath, his mouth just above hers. Ava was paralyzed at the closeness of him, at the idea that he was going to kiss her again.
“If you knew what was good for you, you would stay away from me,” he warned her even as his right hand splayed over the small of her back and he pulled her in. “Because Midnight God help me, I can’t seem to be able to stay away from you.”
Then his lips closed over hers. His kiss was desperate, like he was drowning in her touch, in the taste of her mouth. Ava answered his passion with passion, his tongue on hers, melting together like they were always meant to be. A rush of erotic desire spread through her, blindsiding her. All of a sudden, she melted in Arlen’s arms, her body emboldened and a raw, imperious need flowing between her legs in a gush of wetness.
She had never felt like this before—like she didn’t control her own body anymore. Her hands ran over Arlen’s naked chest as the push of his erection dug into her stomach. His hands roamed over her body, leaving her panting and breathless.
She wanted him. She wanted him now, so hard it hurt.
