Page 81 of I Dream of Danger
Particularly their leader. Lucius Ward. Captain as Mac, Nick, and Jon called him.
Their respect for him had been evident in every line of their bodies, and once she got to know him, even the terrible tortured version of him, a strong man who had been rendered down to bedrock, she understood why. This was a formidable man in every sense.
She’d seen him put himself together inch by agonizing inch. If Catherine said to walk ten steps, he’d walk fifty. Grimacing with pain every inch of the way.
And though he never smiled and the lines in his face clearly showed he’d never been a smiling kind of man, his face lit up when she entered a room.
So, yes, sex seemed to be on the table.
But something needed to be said first. “You don’t have to call me beautiful, Lucius,” Stella said gently. “I know I’m not beautiful, not any more. And if you don’t care, I sure don’t.”
While she talked his dark eyes roamed over her face, over every inch of it. It was something she was used to. When she’d been beautiful, men had stared openly at her, as if she were something rare and different, belonging to a different species. After she’d been sliced open, people had stared for a different reason, the way you’d stare at a train wreck.
One of the many things she loved about Haven was that no one seemed even to notice her scars.
Lucius smiled, pulling at the burn scar on his right cheekbone. He brought her hand to his mouth and placed his lips in the palm of her hand. He kept it there for a long time, so long that she moved the tips of her fingers over the skin around his mouth, feeling a few scars, feeling the small bite of his heavy beard.
He finally lowered her hand to the table, but kept it in his.
“I never missed a movie of yours. I think I’ve seen every one since you were a kid. You had a rare beauty and a rare talent. But I find you more beautiful now, and your talent is one that everyone here appreciates.”
“I know they appreciate it.” She smiled at him. The compliments on her cooking were frequent and fervent and she understood completely. Before she arrived and reorganized the communal kitchen, Mac had cooked. Every person who told her that had winced.
He was searching her eyes again, a look so penetrating it was as if he were walking around inside her head. “You don’t believe me when I say I find you more beautiful than before.”
She kept an easy smile on her face. “Lucius, it’s not necessary for you to say that. I don’t need it.”
“I know you don’t. But I need to say it. Stella—” He stopped. Licked his lips. Swallowed. Looked down at their linked hands, then back up at her.
If Stella didn’t know better, she’d say he was nervous. But that was impossible of course. Mac, Nick, and Jon were three of the toughest men on the face of the earth. Capable and brave and determined. They had defied—were still defying—the US government and the entire military. They were unbreakable men, and this man, this man holding her hand, was their commanding officer. Had led them into battle. That kind of man didn’t do embarrassment.
And yet…
“Stella, I have something to say.” His voice, already hoarse, had roughened. “And I’m finding it—I’m finding it hard.”
“I’m listening, Lucius.” She couldn’t imagine it hard for Lucius to say anything.
He drew in a deep breath. “I’m falling in love with you. No, scratch that. I am in love with you. Since the moment I saw you when we were brought into Haven.”
Oh God. Tears pricked her eyes. Lucius and the three others had been carried into Haven because they’d been unable to walk. All four of them had been on the verge of death. She remembered Lucius clearly lying on the gurney in the infirmary, a wounded and broken man. It had hurt to look at him, clearly a once-strong man who’d been tortured almost to death. Catherine had had a near-death experience herself and was in a coma, so it had been up to Stella and their two nurses, Pat and Salvatore, to take care of everyone.
After the attack, Stella had had four surgeries and had spent months in the hospital. With nothing else to do, she’d observed the nurses and had a pretty good handle on what to do.
Lucius had opened his eyes briefly when she approached him on the gurney. “We’ll take care of you,” she whispered. He’d nodded and passed out.
That was the first time he set eyes on her.
Since then, she’d looked after him. Not out of pity, oh no. Partly out of rage. She’d been subjected to insane violence too, just as he had. The violence of the cruel and cowardly. She knew exactly what that was like, and the idea of a man like this, a combat hero, who’d dedicated his life to his country, being tied down like an animal and tormented—it drove her half crazy.
But the real reason she’d looked after him was that she’d seen right through the naked, half-dead man who’d arrived in Haven and saw, very clearly, the extraordinary, strong man he’d been. His courage and strength had been clear to her from the start. He’d been smart and strong and brave. Handsome, even, as she’d been beautiful. And then they’d fallen into the hands of monsters. But she came out of it and he was coming out of it, and in watching him put himself back together, she’d lost her heart to him.
He reached out a hand to her face, finger trying to trace the worst scar of all, running from her left eyebrow down to the right jaw. The one that had taken 64 stitches to close. She was lucky to have a functioning eye.
Instinctively Stella reared back. No one had touched it since the surgeon had taken out the stitches.
“No, no,” he whispered. “No, darling. Shhh. Let me touch.” His finger, slightly rough, traced the deep white scar over and over again, slowly, from end to end.
That had been the first slash, the stalker having taken her completely by surprise. Her entourage had known for years that she had a violent stalker. Nobody told her, the idea being that she’d ‘lose her focus.’ And they’d lose their gravy train. The stalker had sent her menacing letters, horrific gifts, had made threatening phone calls. All intercepted. The man she’d considered her personal assistant was a bodyguard. His dead body had been found just outside her bedroom door, lying in a pool of blood.
