Page 87 of Sir Hugo Seeks a Wife
“I’m getting…agitated because you’re frightening me,” she gasped out.“Just say what you mean to.”
He let her go and returned to his chair.The depth of feeling in his sigh did nothing to reassure her.But when he spoke, it was from an unexpected angle.
“Out of all the vile elements of the last few days, do you know what was one of the worst?”The lingering anguish in his voice made her heart clench.
She frowned.“The thought that I might die?”
To her relief, he took her good hand again.The immediate sense of connection allayed her rising dread.She reminded herself that he’d said he would always want her.Surely after that, he wasn’t about to announce that he meant to leave her.“Well, yes, that verged on the unbearable.”
She studied him, looking for clues.“But?”
“When you disappeared, I wasn’t with you.And when I went looking for you, I had no right to see you.I have no status in your life.Damn it, Miles could have denied me access.He’s your brother.He has a place in your life.I’m only your lover.”
Athene licked dry lips.She now had an idea where this was going.It wasn’t a new argument, although recent events brought it back to prominence.“That means a lot to me.”
“But not to the world.”He drew a frayed breath.“If Miles took you home, I couldn’t track you down.I didn’t even know your real name.”
God forgive her, she really had wounded him with her secrets.Remorse stabbed as sharp as physical pain.“I should have told you.I’m sorry.”
“Yes, you should have.”His eyes were lightless in a way that she’d never seen them before.“Do you know I almost lost you forever?And I don’t mean how close you came to dying.”
“It’s not as bad as that.”Her fingers clamped on his in a silent plea for forgiveness.“I could find you.I know who you are and where you live.You were always honest with me.You’ve been brave.I’ve been a coward.”
“Yes, you could find me.But in the meantime, I’d believe that you were dead.”
She’d been so selfish.“I’m sorry,” she said again.
“Think how I’d feel.How would you feel if I disappeared without a trace?”
Like her world had ended.
To her guilty horror, she realized that Hugo had suffered the torments of the damned before he located her.
“Thank goodness I persuaded Miles to let me see you.”
She frowned as she considered that issue for the first time.“Just how did you persuade him?”
“I told him we were to be married.”
And there it was, this discussion’s inevitable end.“Oh, Hugo,” she said on a gust of distress.
The powerful jaw set in an intractable line.“It’s true.”He went on before she could object.“If you’re my wife, I have every right to claim you if you go missing.Hell, you’ll be with me at Hampden Crags and won’t be in danger in the first place.”
A great weariness unrelated to her injuries invaded her, made her feel a hundred years old.“We’ve been through this, Hugo.”Her voice was threadbare.“What about our children?”
He growled and released her hand, which made her feel even more bereft.“Athene, I’m not prepared to sacrifice my every hope of happiness because of offspring who may never arrive.”
“But what if they do?”
“Then we’ll work things out.You and I are alive now.You and I need to be together as man and wife in the eyes of the world.”
She blinked back tears, wishing she hadn’t pushed him into this discussion.He was right.She wasn’t strong enough to fight him, it turned out.At this moment, accepting his proposal and becoming Hugo Brinsmead’s wife seemed like the path to paradise, despite all her excellent reasons for saying no.
“But will you feel like that when people snicker about Lady Brinsmead’s murky past?”Bitterness edged the question.“I couldn’t bear it if you came to despise me for ruining your life.”
That jaw set so hard, it might have been granite.“I’m proud of who you are, Athene.You’re a superb creature, and anyone who doesn’t recognize that is no friend of mine.If we’re tenacious and steadfast, we’ll come through.I’m not saying there won’t be problems.But I’m never again going through what you’ve put me through in these last days.You’re marrying me and that’s an end to it.”
More tears stung her eyes.“You’re very high-handed.”She wished that emerged with a decisive snap, instead of as a tearful whine.
