Page 77 of Sir Hugo Seeks a Wife
She mustered a smile.Not a very convincing one, if the frown that drew his golden eyebrows together was any indication.
“I don’t mind.”She just bit back adding that it gave her something to do.That smacked a little too strongly of discontent, and she didn’t want him fretting about her.
“I wish I could stay longer.I will next time.”
Then he’d go away again.She’d been so overjoyed to see him.She’d just climaxed twice.Once when he joined his body with hers and later, before he pumped his seed into a towel.For the last week, all she’d wanted was to see him.
Now all she wanted to do was hide away in a corner and cry her eyes out.She began to wonder if she was strong enough to be Hugo’s mistress.
But what was the alternative?She couldn’t bear to leave him.That would be even worse.
She turned to him and placed a hand on his chest, feeling the hammer of his gallant heart.“If you’re only here for a few hours, let’s not waste them.”
His gaze was worried as he surveyed her.She’d had reason before to curse his perceptiveness.“Things will improve, Athene, I promise.”
She knew that he meant it.She also knew that it was a promise he wouldn’t be able to keep.
But he was with her now, and she needed to snatch her joy when she could.She slid out of bed and turned around, grateful that at last she didn’t need to hide her expression.“Help me out of my dress.All the new clothes you bought fasten at the back.”
Because now she’d become a kept woman with a maid, and she didn’t need to undo her gowns herself.Something about that was a stinging reminder that she depended on Hugo in a way she hadn’t depended on anyone since her days with George.
Athene had a grim feeling that she was on the road to another disaster.One even more cataclysmic than the previous one, because Hugo had the capacity to break her heart into a thousand bloody pieces.However pure his intentions might be.
She couldn’t even be angry with him.She’d created this dilemma.
His hands settled on her shoulders.She waited for him to unhook the pretty sea-green merino frock.But he turned her around with more gentleness and kissed her as if a careless touch would shatter her in his hands.“We’ll find our way,” he said gravely.
“I know we will,” she said, but she didn’t believe it.
Chapter 20
Where can I go?
What can I do?
You cannot know
I’m in love with you.
After Hugo left Athene at first light, she went back to sleep for the rest of the morning.By the time she was ready to face the day, it was afternoon.
She hoped her view of the future wouldn’t be quite so bleak after his visit, but nothing had changed.These last weeks set the pattern for a mistress’s life.Long periods of boredom, interspersed with short intervals of intense activity.Largely sexual.The hours when she and Hugo had spoken and snuggled together and rejoiced in each other’s company were a luxury that she’d enjoyed in Putney.Something told her that such occasions would be a rare occurrence in York.At the Three Crowns, she’d felt like she established a life with him, even if one that needed to stay secret.Since moving into this house, she felt like she hovered on the fringes of his existence.
And she hated it.
Athene still felt out of sorts as the afternoon progressed.The day was fine if cold.Perhaps she just needed to get out of the house.
Refusing her maid Franny’s company, she set out for the nearby town center.She probably shouldn’t be alone, but at this hour the streets were safe.It wasn’t as if she had a reputation to protect, and she was desperate to escape.
Now the festive season had passed, it was business as usual in the crowded city.As soon as she left the house, she started to feel better.It wasn’t Hugo’s fault that she was at a loose end.She needed a project.She needed to make some friends.
A rich man’s doxy wasn’t acceptable in good society, but perhaps she could pretend to be a well-to-do widow and volunteer with some charity.She cringed from misrepresenting herself, but another month of sitting around waiting for Hugo to find time for her would drive her insane.
Or perhaps Hugo had some connections who wouldn’t disdain her, just because she shared his bed.She should ask him.
Feeling more cheerful, she turned down Coppergate, intending to find a bookshop and go home with a few of the latest novels.
Her world crashed to ruin around her.
