Page 64 of Sir Hugo Seeks a Wife
“Vienna?”Hugo’s head swiveled in her direction.She read horror in his eyes.“Damn it, you were on the Continent during the war?Athene, I had no idea.I can’t bear to think of you in danger.”
“I survived.”Only just and only because of Sylvie.
She watched a whole string of dire possibilities cross his mind before he discounted them.If any man knew that she’d only had one inadequate lover before him, it was Hugo.
“You don’t need to reveal all your secrets.I accept – hell, I adore – the woman you are now.”
Adore?No, no, no.That went beyond the besotted that she’d admitted.Way beyond.She needed to remind him why any liaison between them must remain temporary.But dear Lord above, reality was cruel.Something in her cringed from extinguishing that light in his eyes when he beheld her.Nobody had ever looked at her like that.She had a sick feeling that nobody ever would again.
But this must be done, no matter what it cost her.“You’ve probably guessed a lot of what I haven’t said,” she said in a subdued voice.
He tilted his head in her direction.“A little.”
More than that, or she’d mistaken how perceptive he was.She set her glass on the table with a decisive movement.“I’d like you to know.”
To place any thoughts of forever out of reach.So he treated her like a mistress and not like the woman who had stolen his heart.They’d never spoken the word “love,” but every time he touched her, she felt his love.Even worse, she was already too far down the road toward loving him in return to crawl back to safety.
***
Hugo observed Athene without speaking.For the past three days, she’d been happy.She wasn’t happy now.He hated to see her lips flatten in a purposeful line.She looked like she prepared to face an implacable enemy.He had a nasty suspicion that the enemy was him.
How it broke his heart to see the sensuous ease leach away from her features.But then, she broke his heart over and over, because he loved her, and love gave her the power to devastate him.
He’d fallen in love with Athene the instant he’d met her at Sylvie’s shop, so proud and prickly, yet so vulnerable.But having her in his bed for three days, having her soft and trusting and responsive – so responsive – had embedded her so deep into his soul that he couldn’t imagine going on without her.
“You’ll never deter me from wanting to marry you,” he said, knowing he was determined and knowing equally well that all his determination counted for nothing in the face of her continuing refusal.
She made a dismissive gesture.“Wait until you hear me out.”
“Athene, you can tell me you serviced every man in Napoleon’s army and I’ll still want to marry you.”
Her laugh was hollow.“No, I didn’t do that.Although I was lucky I had Sylvie.Without her, no doubt, I’d have ended up selling my body just to stay alive.”
“So George remains my only rival?”
The way she rolled her eyes provided a brief reminder of his teasing companion over the last days.“You know George is no rival.”
Hugo liked hearing that.He liked it very much indeed.Even though he had no right to be jealous.Even though the toad was no longer alive.“He was your first love.That’s a powerful role to play in a woman’s life.”
She sighed and brushed back the wave of hair that shadowed her cheek.His hands curled on the chair’s arms, as if they stroked that silky fall.But he kept his physical distance.He feared if he touched her, she’d split in two.She was as brittle as an overbaked wafer.
“I didn’t love George.”
“What?”That wasn’t what Hugo expected.It might be what he wanted to hear, but he couldn’t accept it.“You must have, or else you—”
Her expression was stark with self-loathing.“Wouldn’t have been idiotic enough to destroy my life by running off with him?You’re giving me too much credit.”
“You must have thought you loved him at the time.”With difficulty, Hugo kept his tone neutral.She didn’t need to think he judged her.He could see that she was busy enough judging herself.
Another sigh.Heavier than the last.“I was headstrong and passionate.And lonely.He kissed me and told me I was pretty, and I convinced myself I was in love.But what I wanted was a man in my bed, not George in particular.”
Coruscating anger on her behalf flooded Hugo.Not for the first time, he wished to the devil that George was still alive.Just so he could kill the swine himself.Slowly and painfully.“He seduced an innocent girl away from her family.”
“The girl was willing to be seduced.You know how I—”
“Yield to desire?”
To his dismay, shame shuttered her expression.“I’ve tried so hard to control my wicked nature.”
