Page 30 of Sir Hugo Seeks a Wife
“You know what I am.”
“A woman who made a mistake a long time ago.That’s not the sum total of who you are.”
“In the world’s eyes, it is,” she said, just wanting this to be over.
He made a disgusted sound deep in his throat.“Then the world is an ass.I don’t bloody care what you did before you met me.I only care about what you do now.”
A caustic smile twisted her lips.“Then you’re a very rare man indeed.”
Athene waited for him to protest, cajole, perhaps even try to bully her, but he merely sent her a long look that somehow combined an equal measure of appreciation and disappointment in her.The disappointment stung, especially when she tried so hard to do the right thing.
Because of course she’d like to marry Sir Hugo Brinsmead.He was all that she admired in a man.Not to mention, he kissed like a dream.And dear heaven, the idea of living in Yorkshire rather than filthy, crowded London made her heart carol with joy.
But she couldn’t in principle say yes.Even if principle was a nasty, evil bitch.
She braced for him to kiss her.It was the last thing she wanted and everything she hankered after.In his arms, she’d felt whole for the first time since leaving her home and family.
Instead of kissing her, he picked up his hat and coat and gave her a brief bow.“Miss de Smith, I am always your servant.”
Athene didn’t trust her knees to manage a curtsy.She looked down at the floor before she realized that this was the last time she’d see him.She forced herself to meet his eyes.
“Goodbye, Sir Hugo.I wish you well.”It might be a pat phrase, but she meant it more than she could say.
Another blistering glare from rich blue eyes, then he left.After the door closed with a soft click, Athene sagged as if her bones turned to dust.
Chapter 9
I’ll take my way alone and proud,
My head held high midst clam’ring crowd.
No man shall make me fail the test.
I’ll take my way.My way is best.
Athene stared blankly ahead, as she struggled to come to terms with the tumultuous evening.Her mind was sluggish, hazy.Her heart was leaden with misery.Too much misery to make sense.After all, Sir Hugo was a stranger.They’d met a handful of times.His departure from her life shouldn’t matter this much.
His absence shouldn’t feel like someone stripped off her skin piece by piece.
Sylvie came in, looking troubled.“Should I have interrupted?I assumed you’d call for help if he tried to ravish you.”
Athene gave up trying to stand and collapsed into the armchair that had kept her upright, when all she’d wanted to do was sink into Sir Hugo’s manly embrace and agree to whatever he wanted.“If only he had.”
Sylvie looked startled.“Goodness me, you’ve never said that before.”
“Well, I did when I was seventeen.You know what a disaster that ended up.”
She and Sylvie had no secrets from each other.Her friend would immediately recognize how far Athene’s reaction to Hugo extended beyond her usual indifference to masculine advances.Sylvie ventured forward and sat opposite Athene, her expression concerned.“Sir Hugo looked like his dog had just died when he left.”
Another pang of guilt added a rancid tinge to Athene’s unhappiness, even if she knew that she’d made the best – the only – choice.“I won’t be seeing him again.”
“Why?I can see you like him and if he kept his hands off you, he’s clearly a gentleman.”
That wasn’t entirely true, but Athene wasn’t up to talking about those incandescent kisses in the carriage.Not without crying.And she really didn’t want to cry.“You know why.”
“Because you don’t trust your judgment where men are concerned.”
“Indeed.”
