Page 9 of Miss Barton's Mysterious Husband
Janet’s grunt expressed contempt. “There was no marriage, but I fell for the squire’s son’s pretty lies, convinced myself I was inlove.”The bitterness in the word made even Roland wince. “Then he went off and married a rich baronet’s ugly daughter instead. I loathed that you went through the same thing.”
Roland made a dismissive gesture. “But Charmian didn’t go through the same thing. We married. We were set to be happy together.”
Janet looked at him as if she despised him. “Then why did she come home with her heart broken?”
“My heart was broken because I never saw Roland again,” Charmian said. “No wonder you and Mamma were in such a hurry to rush me off to Puddlebrook after that first week. Even if Roland came looking for me, he’d never find me here.”
“I did come looking for you. Over and over.” Memories of his grief and frustration threatened to choke him. “But your mother wouldn’t tell me where you’d gone. She said you didn’t want to see me again.”
The satchel dropped to the ground with a thud, as Charmian stared at him in astonishment. “You came looking for me?”
“Of course I did. You were – youare– my wife. I wanted you back.”
She looked unconvinced. “Even after that terrible fight?”
He shrugged, although he was as far from nonchalant about all this as it was possible to be. “We could have worked it out.” He cast a fulminating glare at Janet, and his voice hardened. “Given the chance. At least I thought so, although you clearly bore a grudge. But, Charmian, you know where I live. Why didn’t you come to Leeder Hall?”
Her hands twined at her waist in a gesture of distress that mirrored her aunt’s. “I wasn’t sure you wanted me to.”
Roland frowned. He’d already told her that he wanted her back. He wasn’t going to humble himself by admitting the devastation that she’d left behind after she abandoned him. Or not while her aunt remained to listen, anyway.
He was sure that his pride would be pulverized before they were done, whatever else happened. The question was whether he’d end up humiliated but still bereft, or whether this unplanned meeting offered a fresh beginning with his beautiful wife.
“Even so, we were married. That wasn’t going to disappear for the wishing.”
She flinched. “Did you want it to go away?”
“Did you?”
She made an apologetic gesture. “I thought of looking for you so often, but my mother and Aunt Janet said that if you loved me, you’d come for me. And you didn’t.”
“And you accepted what they said without question?”
Shame dulled her lovely green eyes. “I did for the first few months. Especially when you didn’t answer my letters. After a couple of days of feeling very sorry for myself, I wrote again and again, and there was only silence.”
Roland scowled at Janet. “And I wrote to you to receive the same silence in return.”
Janet looked even guiltier. “There was no future for the two of you. I’m still not sure there is.”
“But that’s not for you to say, is it?” Roland snapped.
Charmian regarded her aunt with confusion as well as anger. “You must have had a plan. What did you imagine was going to happen as the years went on? Neither Roland nor I could marry again while the other was alive.”
Janet looked hunted. “I don’t know, Charmian. Your mother and I were so worried about you. We just wanted to make sure you didn’t do anything stupid. We thought we’d wait until you were strong enough to make your own decisions. That’s why we kept the letters. Your mother sent on anything she received in Somerset, so if ever you were capable of making a choice, you could read them.”
“But how could I make my own decisions when you hid Roland’s letters and stole mine, and nobody told me that he’d come looking for me?”
“We acted in your best interests.” Janet’s hands twisted so tightly that her knuckles shone white. “We couldn’t bear seeing you so distraught.”
“And you’d already had your heart broken by a careless rake,” she said.
Janet had never married, Roland realized. Clearly that early experience had scarred her for life. It was a pity, but it wasn’t an excuse. “It wasn’t fair to tar me with the same brush as your first love.”
Janet looked at him with genuine hatred. “Why not? It’s clear that you left my niece in pieces. You should never have met, let alone been foolish enough to marry. I told my brother that no matter how much money he made, he could never expect the gentry to treat him as anything except a trumped-up servant. The Bartons work for their living. You and your ilk sit around, drinking brandy and causing trouble. I wish to God her parents had never tried to raise Charmian as a lady. There’s no disgrace in earning your daily bread. There is disgrace in leading innocent girls on, then forsaking them.”
Roland was angry, an anger stemming from years of misery and loneliness and longing. It was difficult not to shout at the woman.
“You know nothing about me.” His voice might remain soft, but his tone was acid. “And Charmian isn’t you. What happened to you didn’t happen to Charmian.”
