Page 20 of Miss Barton's Mysterious Husband
She sucked in a relieved breath. Although she shouldn’t find too much comfort in the admission. She didn’t want him making an emotional link with some faceless woman, but nor did she want him seducing any female who took his fancy.
Face it, Charmian, you want him to be all yours. Despite your long estrangement and his masculine needs. Despite you leaving him.
It wasn’t a reasonable attitude, but then, love wasn’t always reasonable.
“How many, then? More than ten?”
“No.”
So somewhere between one and ten. How many could she survive hearing about? Two? Seven? “Stop tormenting me. How many, Roland?”
He shifted as if he’d like to avoid the question. She supposed that it couldn’t be easy to own up to breaking his marriage vows. “You’re so sure I did the wrong thing.”
Her lips tightened. “Did you?”
Charmian heard him draw a breath, and she braced for the confession. She could bear it. She could. If she could bear living without him for so long, she could bear knowing that other women had enjoyed that lean, elegant body.
“No, I damn well didn’t.” As he rose to his feet, she felt his glare.
“But—”
“There wasn’t one. There weren’t five. There weren’t a thousand. There was only one woman for me and I’d married her, whatever woe that might have brought me.”
His temper slid off her like water slid off the pitched slate roof above them. Wide-eyed, Charmian stared at him, while the glorious news slowly made itself real. He hadn’t betrayed her. There had been no other women. She knew immediately that he spoke the truth. His impatience was more convincing than any attempt to cajole her into believing him.
“But…but you must have wanted…”
He raked one hand through his already messy hair. “Wanted a woman. No, I didn’t wantawoman. I wantedyou.I’d made promises toyou.”
“But I’d left you.”
He gave a low growl. “Yes, you had, But I hadn’t given up all hope of you coming back. I hadn’t given up all hope of us making a life together one day. I never stopped loving you. Even though I felt like the world’s greatest fool when I told myself that somewhere, somehow you’d remember that you loved me, too.”
Charmian was ecstatic to know that so much of what she’d feared had lived only in her mind. So it made no sense that the tears that had come and gone all night now poured down her face. With clumsy hands, she dashed at her wet cheeks.
“I remembered,” she said in a thick voice. “I hoped we’d have another chance, too.”
He sounded more composed when he spoke, although deep emotion still roughened his musical baritone. “How could I come back to you and beg you to live with me again if I’d betrayed you with other women?”
“I’m glad you didn’t,” she said, knowing the words were inadequate.
He must have felt the same because his “good” was a little grumpy.
She gave a muffled giggle, even if one clogged with tears. “All right, I’m in alt. I’m elated. I couldn’t be happier to know you were faithful to me.” She stood. “It’s just that you were so…energetic during our honeymoon.”
“Meaning I’d run off like a wild beast and leap on the first available woman? You do me an injustice, Charmian. By heaven you do.”
“I know. And I’m sorry.” She swallowed, but the tears didn’t stop. “I’m sorry for everything. Please don’t be angry.”
“I’m not angry with you, now I know the truth about what kept us apart. I’m just heartsick at the thought of all we’ve missed, my darling.”
Themy darlingwas the clincher. “Then let’s move on together now and not miss any more, Roland.”
With shaking hands, she caught her loose nightdress and tugged it over her head. She heard the hitch in his breath, as she dropped the voluminous garment to the floor. Beneath her night rail, she was naked.
Roland made an unsteady movement in her direction then stopped. “Swear to me that you’ll never go away again. I’ve barely survived your absence. You’ll destroy me if you leave me now.”
She managed another sketchy smile and stepped out of his shadow so that the firelight revealed her body. “I’ll never leave you while I live, Roland. I give you my solemn oath.”
