Page 14 of Miss Barton's Mysterious Husband
His hands opened and closed on his thighs. “I didn’t expect to find my wife working as a skivvy in an obscure country inn.”
“You must have been appalled,” she said, starting to bristle. “I was never good enough for the noble Sir Roland Destry.”
A decisive wave of his hand swept aside her remark. “Stop it, Charmian. You were perfect. Then and now. Seeing you so strong and capable makes me want to cheer – and weep like a lost child, because you always had that strength inside you, but it took unhappiness to bring it out. I’d give my right arm to have seen you come into your own.”
She missed most of his explanation. Her longing heart had snagged on one word. Her hands drifted to her sides and she stared at him, as she struggled not to make too much of what he said.
Yet her voice cracked as she spoke. “Perfect, Roland?”
Chapter 6
Roland stared at this beautiful, spirited woman he’d married in such haste and wondered how she could even ask the question.
“Yes, perfect,” he said, standing.
He wondered if he set himself up as a target. Pride alone had kept him going since she’d left. Although pride, he’d discovered, couldn’t compare as a companion to the woman he’d wed. If she shot him down, he’d crash so hard that he feared he’d never rise again. But if making himself vulnerable meant that Charmian came back, he’d take the risk any day.
“I’ve made you so miserable.” She went back to wringing her hands. “You should hate me.”
A wry smile twisted his lips. He felt like he’d smiled more in this last hour than he had in the previous three years. “I could never hate you.”
She looked unconvinced. “You must have cursed me.”
One hand cut through the air. “I did that, all right. You hurt me.”
He waited for her to defend herself, but instead her lips turned down. “I did. And I’m so sorry. I’ll sound like a witch, but I wanted you to suffer without me. Now I’ve seen you, I can’t forgive myself for what I did.”
He didn’t even need to consider his reply. “I forgive you.”
“That’s very magnanimous.”
“It’s the only way forward. That is…” He swallowed to shift the great lump of trepidation that jammed his throat. “That is if you want to go forward with me.”
She regarded him with an uncertainty that reminded him of the untried girl he’d married. Painful emotion cramped his heart. He’d missed that girl like the devil. He could alreadytell that the woman Charmian had become could do even more damage, if she decided she wanted nothing to do with him.
“I’m your wife.” She spoke in a hesitant voice, as if unsure of the facts.
He smiled again. “Yes, you are, but we could arrange a formal separation if that’s what you want.”
She looked unimpressed. “As a follow-up to our informal separation?”
He shrugged, although he didn’t feel casual about any of this. “If you like.”
That troubled green gaze remained fixed on his face. “Is that what you want, Roland?”
He reached out to grab the plain mantelpiece and summoned all his courage to answer. If she turned him away now, she’d annihilate him. “I want you to be happy, Charmian.”
It was true, as far as it went. But of course, he wanted so much more than that.
Her intense expression didn’t ease. She didn’t answer the question but continued with one of her own. “Do you want us to separate?”
“We’ve been separated for three bloody years,” he said with a hint of bitterness.
“Yes. But do you want to make that official?”
“No.”
“Then what do you want, Roland?”
