Page 38 of Charming Sir Charles
He spread his hands. “Why?”
She gave a heavy sigh. Surely he could see she was an utterly unsuitable wife for him. It was blatantly and excruciatingly obvious to her. “So many reasons.”
“Name them. You can’t still think Meg and I have some sort of understanding. For God’s sake, she left us alone here so we could sort out our differences.”
“For which she’s earned a trip home to her parents, after I’ve given her a good scolding,” Sally said bitterly, resenting her niece’s interference in matters that were none of her concern.
“She meant well.”
“And meaning well, she’s caused a complete mess.”
He flinched, and she raised a hand to soothe the sting of her unguarded words, until she recalled touching him wasn’t a good idea.
His wide shoulders rose and fell as he sucked in a deep breath. She could tell he fought to keep his deep voice steady. “Explain to me why you can’t accept my proposal. After what just happened, you’ll never convince me that you don’t want me.”
She’d dearly love to disown her desire, but given how swiftly she’d yielded, she’d look even more ridiculous if she claimed indifference. Although the damage was already done, she hitched her bodice higher in an attempt to bolster her dignity. “I’m too old for you.”
“Tosh. It’s a couple of years.”
“Enough to count.”
“Not with me. Is that the best you can do?”
“And I can’t bear you children.”
The skeptical arch of his dark eyebrows made her want to hit him. “Have you slept with anyone other than your husband?”
She raised her chin. “Yes.”
He looked stricken. “Who?”
Her lips tightened with impatience. “You, of course.”
His grunt of laughter was unamused. “Of course. Anyone else?”
“Sir Charles –” she began, hard-won composure starting to fray.
“You may as well tell me.” He sighed and ran his hand through his hair, leaving it even more ruffled. And making him look even more irresistible, curse him. “I know anyway.”
“And just what do you think you know, sir?”
“You were almost innocent in my arms.” His lips curled in a wry smile. “You certainly didn’t act like a woman practiced in the sensual arts.”
Despite everything, his criticism of her performance as a lover made her cringe. “Well, I’m sorry if my inexperience was a problem.”
“There was no problem, my darling.” He reached out briefly to touch her cheek. She told herself to step away, but the gesture’s tenderness kept her unmoving under his hand. “What we did was a revelation. At least for me. I hope it was for you, too.”
Sally bit her lip, wanting to argue, but unable to speak the lie that surely would send him away forever. Although it was kinder to both of them if she sundered this bond now, rather than letting the misery go on and on.
He was close enough for her to catch his scent, a sensual reminder of all the wonderful things he’d done to her, and would never do again. She blinked back searing tears.
The slight smile lingering, he subjected her to a searching look. “I wouldn’t be quite so sure you’re incapable of bearing children. The difficulty may have been Norwood’s.”
“But what if I am barren?” she persisted, beating down the fragile seedling of hope Charles’s words coaxed into the light. It had taken her years to accept she’d never have a baby. She couldn’t survive coming to terms with that disappointment a second time.
Charles shrugged and took her hand. She was so confused and unhappy, she didn’t pull free. She must be strong and send him away, she knew. But his touch made her feel so warm and alive, while life without him promised nothing but eternal arctic cold.
“The title doesn’t end with me. With four married sisters, I have more nephews than I can keep track of. If I have no son to inherit, I can live with that. Perhaps we can adopt needy orphans, or assist with all those nieces and nephews. Or we can just find contentment in each other. Travel. Collect art. Breed dogs.” The smile widened. “I don’t really care, as long as you’re with me.”
