Page 84 of The Last Duke She'd Marry
He straightened and sent her a searing glance. “I did. Because I wanted you from the start.”
She glared back. “Well, now you’ve had me.”
He sighed. “It’s more complicated than that, Juliet.” He summoned every last scrap of his courage and confessed the truth that lay behind every action. “I’m in love with you.”
Juliet whimpered as if he’d punched her. Her proud defiance crumpled. “You can’t.”
Her vulnerability made him hunger to wrap his arms around her and tell her that everything would be all right. But her posture made it clear that she didn’t want him to touch her.
“Of course I can.” His voice rang with the force of his emotions. “And do you want to hear something even more shocking? I think you might love me back.”
He waited for a denial, even though he’d wager half his fortune – hell, all of it – that she loved him almost as much as he loved her.
A lightless blue gaze settled upon him. She looked as though she’d never be happy again.
She curled her hands over her bonnet and held it in front of her like a shield, but she replied in a steady voice. “Yes, I love you, Lucas. I don’t want to, but I do.”
Despite everything, he sucked in a relieved breath. He’d been sure, but he’d thirsted to hear the words. Even if his beloved sounded like she announced the end of the world.
He surveyed her in baffled frustration. “Then why in the name of all that’s holy won’t you marry me? Are you afraid I’ll be unfaithful?”
She squared her shoulders, and the look she sent him stripped away every threadbare defense. “I can’t rely on your honor.”
He frowned. “Yet you gave yourself to me? That makes no sense.”
She swallowed again, and her grip tightened on the broad brim of her bonnet. “I couldn’t resist coming to your bed. Not when it was my only chance. Not when I was paying the price for a scandal, without having any memories of…love to compensate for the punishment.”
“Now you’ll have memories and nothing else,” he said with a hint of savagery. “Will they keep you warm at night?”
He hated himself the minute he spoke. She looked ready to shatter. “They’ll have to.”
“Yet you could have me in your bed every night. You could bear my children. You could be my beloved duchess. You could step into a future where we live and love together for the rest of our lives. Doesn’t that tempt you even a little?”
“Don’t be cruel. You must know it tempts me.” Anger flared in her eyes. He supposed it was an improvement on the desolation that it replaced. “But I can’t trust you.”
“If I make promises to you, I’ll keep them. I’ve never broken an oath. I never will.”
“Did you say those same words to Vanessa Gould?”
The name crashed down between them like a landslide. He straightened and squared his jaw. “Juliet, I can’t talk about that. It means breaking another promise. But for the love of God, believe me, it’s not what you think.”
“So you say.” Her shoulders slumped, and she made a weary gesture. “But you ruined that girl’s name and did nothing to make it right. How can I marry a man I don’t respect?”
By Jupiter, that smarted. That smarted like being flayed alive. “You respected me enough to give me your virginity.”
She stiffened. “That’s a low blow,” she said coldly.
Evesham bowed his head in acknowledgment. “You’re right. It was.”
When he didn’t apologize – be buggered if he would – she made a helpless gesture. “You must see that we have to part.”
No, he didn’t see that. He wasn’t giving up. Not when she loved him. Not when he loved her. Not when she represented his only hope of happiness.
“Juliet, I beg you, I beg you with every drop of blood in my body, to trust me.” Urgency roughened his voice. “I promise on my life that I’m the man you want me to be. I won’t betray you. I won’t break your heart. Believe me. For God’s sake, believe me. Take me as your husband, my darling.”
Her eyes were great pools of grief. “But what about Vanessa?”
It was too much. Evesham couldn’t bear not touching her. He strode forward and tugged the bonnet from her, tossing it to the floor. His shaking hands clutched hers. “Forget Vanessa.”
