Page 46 of The Last Duke She'd Marry
“What have you done to me?” she asked in a cracked voice. “I’ve never…”
He closed his eyes and bunched his fists at his sides so tight that they hurt. But not as much as his balls did.
Evesham braced for what he must say. The only thing he could say.
He opened his eyes and forced out the inevitable words. “Lady Juliet, will you marry me?”
***
Juliet was too upset to listen to him. “What did you say?”
Evesham looked sick. She was sure that she didn’t look much better. Her stomach revolted with another wave of nausea. And shame. Shame worst of all. She’d almost…
He straightened, and that impressive masculine jaw set like granite. “I’d be honored if you would become my wife.”
“No, you wouldn’t.” She clutched her robe to her throat like a despoiled virgin in a play.
Except that she’d flung herself headlong into ruin, hadn’t she? Evesham just had to smile at her, and she forgot everything except desire. Bile flooded her mouth with rancid self-hatred.
Her blunt response surprised him, she could see. “I would, you know.”
He didn’t sound quite as overcome as he had at first. She was used to him being assured and ironically amused. When he’d first proposed, he looked as if he was about to step up onto the gallows.
Juliet heaved herself out of the bed and straightened her disordered clothing with clumsy hands. Nightmare images invaded her mind of how close she’d come to taking Evesham into her body. He’d been on top of her. Dear God above, he’d had his mouth all over her breasts.
She hadn’t uttered one single denial. Heaven forgive her, she’d goaded him on.
As the waves of sexual response receded, leaving her feeling queasier than ever, her gaze sharpened on him. His always rumpled hair was more chaotic than usual. Because she’d threaded her hands through it, begging him for more. At the first touch of a rake’s lips, the word “no” had vanished from her vocabulary.
Heaven might forgive her. She’d never –never– forgive herself.
“After what just happened, no man would be honored to marry me,” she said bitterly, knotting her hands at her waist and telling herself that she would not be sick.
His gesture rejected her remark. “What we did proves that you’re human, Juliet. Nothing worse than that. People are designed to succumb to sexual attraction. That’s how the race continues.”
“I have morals. Or at least I believed I did.”
“Of course you have morals,” he said with a hint of impatience. “But you’re also a woman with natural urges. Why else do you think society works so hard to protect young girls from finding out what fun they can have with a man?”
Her temper kindled, although her anger remained turned on herself. She knew better, but that hadn’t saved her from losing her head. Evesham had just done what Evesham did when a willing woman came within reach.
“Blast you,” she snapped. “I don’t care about deuced society. I care that instead of throwing you out the moment you climbed through my window, I kissed you and touched you and dragged you into my bed.”
His lips turned down. “You didn’t have to drag too hard. Any madness was entirely mutual, darling.”
The endearment didn’t soothe her outrage. It only emphasized how close she’d come to forgetting every code she lived by. Forgetting everything that she owed herself. “Except I didn’t tell you to stop.”
“You would have.”
“Would I?” She sank her teeth into her lip, then confessed the worst of her sins. “I didn’t pull back from what we were doing, Evesham. You did.”
Juliet watched him heft in a huge breath, as strong emotion darkened his eyes. She sincerely hoped it wasn’t pity. “I’m much more experienced than you are. You were taken unawares.”
She turned away on wobbly knees, blinking hard to keep the tears from falling. Her self-respect had taken so many blows tonight. Bursting into tears in front of Evesham would be the last straw. His understanding just made her feel worse. “I’m not fit for civilized company.”
“Juliet, sweetheart, stop torturing yourself.” He came up behind her and slid his arms around her, drawing her against his body.
She managed a fragmented breath and allowed herself to rest against him. He was so big and strong and warm. And right now, she felt alone and broken.
