Page 26 of Don't Love the Boy Next Door
“She never told me this.”
His gaze is back on the carpet. “She didn’t like talking about it because she thought she failed the audition. She said it was one of the worst she ever had.”
An iron hand clamps around my heart. Mom…she tried for Belle? She failed, just like I did. If she were here with me, she and I could have shared that awful feeling of dejection. She could have gotten me through the days. I feel an even deeper connection than I did before. I just wish she were here with me.
“Dad?” I whisper.
He raises his head.
I swallow. “I really miss her.”
A pained look crosses his face.
“She would have helped me so much the past few weeks. I felt so lost and confused and helpless—”
“I’m tired, sweetie.” He pulls himself off the sofa. “I’m going to bed.”
I slowly close my mouth as tears spring to my eyes. I watch my dad amble to his room and shut the door behind him. I fallback on the couch and let the tears fall. He doesn’t want to talk about Mom. I want to, so desperately, but I can’t seem to discuss her with anyone other than my dad.
We’re going through this tragedy together. He’s the only one who understands what I’m going through. We could pick each other up. We could overcome this.
But he’s closed himself off. Does this mean he’ll never want to talk about her?
It feels like he’s just wasting away. Trudging through life until…when? Until he reaches the end? I’ve lost my mom, I don’t want to lose my dad, too.
But maybe I’ve already lost him.
Chapter Ten
Ethan
Coach is very tough on us during practice, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. Most of the guys on the team call me a beast on the field, and today I’m really feeling it. I guess Phoenix being upset with me awakened some anger inside me and I’m using it to completely demolish this practice. Coach is super happy with me, and from the look on his face, I know he’s telling himself he made a good decision by bringing me all the way from L.A. to play for his team. And I agree. As much as I miss my friends and team back home, this is the best group of guys I’ve ever played with. We get each other, are like brothers.
I’m still upset with Thad for what he did to Phoenix, but he can be an idiot sometimes. He, Jeremy, and a few others are only into hot girls. They don’t care about the layers underneath. Or maybe they’re not ready for something serious, not like me and Charlotte. She hasn’t texted me all day and I’m worried she has a boyfriend, but I tell myself not to lose focus. Nothing and no one, not even fiery-haired girls, should distract me from making something of myself.
Coach gives us some feedback and pointers before telling us to hit the showers. Jeremy, Thad, and some others slap me on the back, telling me I’m going to take them places. I retort with it’s not just me. All of us make up our team and we’reallamazing. But they don’t want to hear it.
“Our last quarterback had a panic attack or something,” Jeremy tells me as we head to the locker room. “Couldn’t handle the pressure and snapped.”
“That sucks,” I say. “What happened?”
Thad shrugs. “Recruiters were coming to see him and his dad put so much pressure on him. He was a football player, too. Sothe guy completely lost it. But I think he’s okay now.” He shrugs again.
It sucks what happened, but I can’t help feeling a little jealous that he at least had a father who cared enough about him and his future. My dad couldn’t care less if I were dead. Maybe that’s a bit extreme, but it sure feels that way.
I shower, climb onto my bike, and ride home. My thoughts travel to what happened today, specifically with Phoenix. As much as I force them not to, it seems like I don’t have control over them anymore.
She completely ignored me the entire day, didn’t look at me once during lunch. Katie always waves and smiles at me, but her friend pretty much treats me like an ant on the ground.
How are we supposed to get through the presentation when she won’t even acknowledge that I exist? Oh right. According to her, I did something wrong by existing. What the heck does that even mean?
Once I reach home, I slip off my helmet, get off my bike, and park it in the garage. I’m still full of adrenaline from practice, so I hit the gym. I’ll have to take a shower again, but whatever.
I push everything out of my head and focus on releasing all this pent-up energy and frustration. Idon’tcare that she hates me. Sure I thought we could be friends, but clearly we can’t. And maybe that’s for the best, anyway, since I always manage to say or do the wrong thing, even if I don’t understand exactly what I did.
After I’m done my workout, I head up to shower, forcing my thoughts away from Phoenix. Why is it so hard to get her out of my head? Maybe because I don’t like people hating me, especially when I don’t understand why.
I pass Eric’s room on my way back from the bathroom and find him strumming his guitar. A notepad sits before him, with lots of lyrics scribbled there.
