Page 101 of Don't Love the Boy Next Door
My brows knit. “Apologize? But I’m the one who quit the band. I’m the reason why you guys…um…”
“Why we sucked. You can say it. It’s no secret.”
“I would never say that.”
“But it’s not your fault,” he says. “We weren’t prepared. We should have canceled. That’s all my fault. I pushed too hard.” He falls back on the sofa and rubs his forehead. “I just wanted itso badly. I didn’t think we’d ever have an opportunity like that again.”
“I’m really sorry,” I say. “I guess I could have forced myself to play at least one more gig.”
“No, Katie,” he quickly says. “This isn’t your fault at all. It’s all my fault. Everything that happened the past two weeks is my fault. Man…” He rubs his forehead again. “The fact that you’re apologizing just shows how amazing you are.”
I give him a confused face.
He swallows so hard his Adam’s apple bobs. “I broke things off with you…when I didn’t want to,” he says.
I give him an even more confused face.
“I guess…” He sighs. “I guess I didn’t want to hurt you. But I hurt you anyway. I hurt you, I hurt the band. It’s a good thing you’re such a great person or I would have wrecked the musical, too.”
“What do you mean you didn’t want to hurt me?” I ask.
He takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out. “I was scared I’d end up like my dad. He’s always on tour and he…well, he hasn’t been the best dad in the world. Nor the best husband. It was hard on my mom when they were still married. I can’t tell you how many times Ethan and I heard her crying. When I realized how much I…cared about you, I freaked out that I would hurt you the way he hurt my mom. But after talking things over with my dad and brother, I realized that I don’t have to follow the same path he did. I can still be a good husband and father while still having a career in music. I mean…” His face turns as red as a tomato. “I don’t mean with you necessarily,” he stammers. “I mean, I kind of do. But I don’t want to freak you out or anything. What I mean is…” He takes another deep breath. “I like you, Katie. A lot. I’ve never felt about a girl the way I feel about you. You’re amazing in every way. Beautiful inside and out, such a kind heart. And you’re crazy talented.”
My heart is beating in every part of my body. I can barely think straight.
“I know I don’t deserve it,” he says. “But I would really like to have your forgiveness. I shouldn’t have treated you that way. I just didn’t want to hurt you.”
It takes a few seconds for my heart to return to a normal pace, though it’s still racing through my body. “Of course I forgive you,” I say. “I’m sorry I made you feel all that pressure.”
He holds up his hand. “No, Katie. There’s nothing for you to apologize for. You’re perfect in every way.”
I shake my head. “I’m not perfect. Not at all.”
“Well, you’re perfect to me.”
I slowly move my gaze to his.
“And I messed up the best thing that could have happened to me. Just because I freaked out.”
My brows crinkle. “Who said you messed up the best thing that could have happened to you?”
He gapes at me. “Are you saying…?”
I get up from the recliner and lower myself next to him, so close we are only inches apart. “I know you’re a good guy, Eric. I knew there had to be a reason why you acted the way you did. That’s why I never got mad at you. I was just hurt. And I understand about your dad issues, because I have dad issues, too. And I used to worry that I’d end up like him, too.”
He searches my eyes. “You did?”
I tell him about the amazing relationship my parents had, the deep love that went beyond this world. I tell him how I dreamed to have a relationship like them one day.
“And then my mom died,” I said. “It was so sudden. A car crash that killed her instantly. Dad and I…” My lips tremble. “We didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye.”
He slowly stretches his arm over my shoulder and draws me close to his chest. “I’m so sorry,” he whispers.
“I was broken,” I said. “I didn’t think I could ever smile again. Ever be happy. Everlive. But what made it worse is that my dad…” My throat chokes up.
“It’s okay,” he says softly. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t feel comfortable.”
“No, I want to talk about it,” I say. “I hardly talk about this with anyone. Not even Phoenix. But I feel like I can be open with you.”
