Page 23 of Night Fever
I don’t believe Hendrick can make me better. I don’t believe he can cure me - I’m not a damsel in distress. But is there anything wrong with wanting a partner to go through all of the messy details of lifewith?
Growing up, I never imagined growing up and getting married. I don’t know if it was because I was so focused on being a good student and a good dancer, but I never thought about my future with a man. Aside from just assuming that I’d grow up and marry someone my parents found acceptable, I never thought aboutit.
And Hendrick can’t save me. But I feel that meeting him shifted my perspective - and now, I can see behind the big, heavy curtain that was the future laid out for me. It’s possibility, and that’sexciting.
More than that, it’s made me realize I wasn’t looking for a man - I was looking forme.
I get up from my bed and walk over to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. A side effect of my medicine was having to pee frequently, and even though I’m tapering off it, the side effects are still there. They probably will be for a couple ofweeks.
But if I’m thirsty in the middle of the night, I’m going to have a glass of water. I’m going to force myself to do things that are uncomfortable - even if I have to deal with theconsequences.
Still...I haven’t been able to go see Hendrick. I’ve wanted to, but I don’t know if he wants to seeme.
The way he handled me so perfectly, made me cum when he told me to - he’s seeped into my body, into my soul, and I probably won’t ever see himagain.
I haven’t had to talk to my dad about it, but I’m sure he cancelled the remainder of my dance lessons. I can’t imagine he’d want me anywhere hear Hendrick everagain.
Walking back over to my bed, I perch on the edge and take a sip of my water. It’s ice cold and feels good, and even though drinking something this close to bedtime means I’ll have to get up to pee, it’sokay.
I have to start living in the moment. And I shake my head and laugh to myself a little, because it’s such a small thing. But it matters to me rightnow.
I put the glass of water on the chest of drawers next to the bed and lie down, throwing an arm across myforehead.
I let my mind wander back to Hendrick. He made such an impact on me in such a short time. He was there for me in that little window of time when I really neededhim.
And now he’sgone.
A lump begins to form in my throat as a hot tear begins to stream down my face. He said he’s be there for me, but he doesn’t really owe meanything.
It felt like something big and important was happening tome.
It felt like love. But now I know it was a crush. It was an affair. It was fun, but it’s overnow.
Now I know it’s silly to think you’re in love after only a fewdays.
I begin to drift off to sleep. Heavy darkness fills my mind and I can feel him all over me, his lips on mywrists.
And I don’t know how long I’m asleep, or if I ever fell asleep, or what time it is, but there is a ruckus outside mydoor.
My eyes fly open and a jolt hits me in the heart as I sit up in bed, startled and surprised by the knocking on the door to myapartment.
I live on the first floor, and of course I’m not expecting visitors. And for anyone to get into the building, they have to push a button outside the buildingfirst.
The knocking on the door continues, but now it’s not knocking. Now it’spounding.
It must be a pizza delivery guy. It must be someone’s drunk crazy friend. It’s certainly not someone here to seeme.
“Who is it?” I say, going over to the door. The poundingsubsides.
“It’s me, Taylor. It’s Hendrick. Openup.”
I swallow thickly, my heart pounding as I unlock the deadbolt and unhook the chain from thedoor.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, “and like that? Who let you in? You’re going to wake up the wholeneighborhood.”
“I had to see you, Taylor,” he says, “and I couldn’t wait until our nextlesson.”
“Lesson?” I say. “I don’t think there are going to be any more lessons. You saw how my dad looked at you. How pissed off hewas.”
