Page 20 of Hale
“I love you too, heathen.”
Rylie
Ican make it.
Just three more days.
Hudson will be home for spring break and we can do all the things he promised me.
“Open up and show me,” Aunt Becky demands, both hands on her hips as she glares at me.
“Ahhhh,” I say, sticking my tongue out, and then roll my eyes.
“Good, now get ready for school.”
She leaves me alone in the bathroom. I used to love my aunt, but now I can’t stand her. It’s like she thrives on controlling my every move. You’d think I would have some freedom, but ever since the day I took all my medication and landed myself in the hospital, I have none. She watches my every move. Dictates my every action. Tells me when I can breathe.
I close the door behind her and turn on the shower. As I undress, I stare at my body, unimpressed. I’m nearly a woman stuck in a child’s body. My breasts are barely B cups. You can see my rib bones and hip bones protruding. I’m not at all curvy like Amy.
Irritation flitters through me.
Amy weighs my brother down.
He deserves better.
Like you?
A shiver trembles down my spine. I seek out the warmth and privacy the shower will offer. No locks. No medicine. No sharp things. Dr. Livingston and Aunt Becky make sure I’m not a harm to myself. My legs are prickly as are my underarms. I wish badly to shave, but I’ve been grounded from that too.
With a heavy sigh, I wash my body in the fancy shower. Sometimes it feels like I’m staying in a swanky hotel. It’s so different here than where I lived with my family. Nicer and more expensive. But certainly not home. I close my eyes and try to recall the nights I spent curled up against Hudson in the basement before he left to go back to Arkansas. After that first night, it was like I needed him to breathe. I’d expected him to go back to his usual jerky ways, but he held me each night.
It was driving me to insanity.
What he sees as innocent cuddling with his sister is something completely different to me. I tried to warn him I was sick, but he shooed my comment away. He doesn’t understand. And clearly doesn’t feel the same way. But because of my sickness, I can’t push him away and find someone or something else to focus on.
Just him.
I reach up and grab the removable showerhead. It’s dirty and wrong, but I think ofhimtouching me between my thighs. The hot water blasts my clit and I gasp. Desperate to feel more of the pleasure, I pull apart my pussy lips and assault my sensitive flesh with the water. It feels good, but what makes it feel better is pretending it’shistongue. Licking me. Hot and wet. Never stopping.
Sick, sick, sick, Rylie.
Yet, I don’t stop.
I imagine things no girl should think of when she pleasures herself. Thoughts that could lead to actions with awful consequences. When I think ofhisteeth biting my fingers, I orgasm. Hard, violent, unapologetic.
I just had an orgasm to thoughts of my brother.
Shame slides through me like oil spreading on a lake. It’s dirty and coats every part of me inside and out. Black and wrong.
I can’t do that again.
My clit throbs in response.
Maybe just once more…
Me: Did you listen to that song I sent?
Hudson: You sent me like ten. Which one?
