Page 67 of A Blightress of Wrath
Chapter33
Thevin
Theflickeringof my mother’s eyes across the table didn’t help.Herpiercing blue stare fell on me consistently throughout that endless dinner, andIshifted uncomfortably for the hundredth time.Itwas difficult enough to keep my eyes offSaelynin that damned dress, let alone keep up with the conversation around me after trying to focus on that droning speech ofViceroyMediyr’s.
Iwouldn’t be surprised if not a single person at this table heard what he had to say, instead focusing on the daughter of theBaronin her pale blue shift that shimmered in the waning sunlight, lighting her up as if in awe of her beauty.Everyline, every curve of her body was held in shape by the pale blue fabric that clung to her backside, and torso, and breasts.Thecut of the top curved wide to show the world just how perfect she was.Herlong legs, accentuated by the high shoes she wore, were left bare of any fabric but the sheer tulle.Hercalves, her knees, her creamy thighs—anyone could see the shape of all of it, andIwas sureIwasn’t the only one looking.
Iwas plenty experienced with the beauty of a woman’s body, but whenIhad seenSaespeaking withLanna,I’djust stood there, dumfounded.Iwas well aware of the fashion of theSpire, which tended to more acknowledge a woman’s body than hide it, but whenSaewore that gown—that color—the palest blue that set her dark hair and pale skin into the ode of a brilliant summer sky…
Ichewed my food by habit alone, unsure of whatI’deaten, my skin too tight, my seat too hard, my heart bickering with my mind on what actionIshould do next—answer the questionSaelynhad just asked me or turn her chin and kiss her.
“Huh?”Iresponded like an idiot, decidedly not caressing her cheek to kiss her lips in front of all these people.
“Isaid, how is your chest?” she repeated for me.
“Mychest?”Ilooked down at my blue jacket to see ifI’dspilled something.
Shecocked her head in irritation. “Fromthat tail slap you received today from the enormous white fish you swam with?”
Herannoyance snapped me out of my stupor long enough to respond in my usual casual flirtation. “Notsure, we’d better look together tonight.”
Bythe breath of theBaronin front of me, my cheeks heated asSaeopened her mouth wide, looking around the table to see if anyone else heard.
Irecovered from my own shock and playfully nudged her arm. “I’mjoking,Sae.It’sfine.Alittle bruising.Nothingpermanent.”
“Youshould see a healer then, likeClairanniasaid.”
Iforced another bite of what looked like some kind of root vegetable. “They’rerare these days and busy with real work.Itwill heal on its own.”
Shetwisted her lips but nodded.
Bythe time dessert was served,I’dhad just about allIcould take sitting next to her, hearing her laugh at something the guest on her right said about her spoon.Iscoffed under my breath, doubting it was as funny asSaemade it seem.Surely, she was just being polite.
Itook my pitiful longing gaze away from her and rose, excusing myself to step away for just one relaxing moment to breathe.Morepeople were finishing their food and rising to mingle before theSongofRemembranceandCeremonialDancebegan.Istepped away to an open ledge furthest from the table.Leaningover the balcony’s edge,Iinhaled the dusk air which settled on the city like a warm blanket in a soft bed, or a warm body, its simple presence there to tell you you’re not alone.
“Whydon’t you just tell her?”
Iexhaled into the breeze, long and slow.Quietas ever,Lannasidled up next to me, mirroring my leaning over the rail while flicking her pocket knife rapidly between her fingers.
“Ifthat falls, you could kill someone,”Imuttered, rubbing my face.
“GoodthingI’mquick with my fingers.”Shewinked and slid the knife between her forefinger and middle, flicking it into the air to spin before snapping it back into her palm just before it fell beyond her reach.
“Showoff.”
“So?” she insisted, “Whydon’t you confess your feelings toSaelyn?Getit over with.Likeripping a bloody bandage from your skin.”Shepatted my chest where she knew my scars remained.
Iflinched as she smacked my bruise, shuffling away slightly so she couldn’t tease me about this afternoon.
“Sheknows.”Ishrugged, even though my heart fell to my stomach.
Herbrows rose and her mouth turned downward. “Afterall that moping last winter, you finally told her?”Shegave a grunt whenIdidn’t respond. “Thatbad, huh?”
“No, it wasn’t bad, she just…”Istole a glance behind me,Lanna’sgaze following.Saelingered at the table, this time deep in conversation with her seat mate, a young male channelerI’dmet on occasion who was due to train inFelgrenin the next rounds. “Shesaid she didn’t want to risk our friendship,”Ifinished. “Andthat was the end of it.”
Lannahuffed. “WhydoIfeel like that’s not even close to the end of it?”
“Itis.”Ieyed her, my words heated. “Shewas very clear on what she wants from me and that is only friendship.SoIwill give her friendship.AndIwill make it through more of these damn dinners where she wears something likethat,”—Ijabbed a thumb behind me—“andIwill be what she needs me to be.Justlike it was beforeIopened my stupid mouth and put her in an uncomfortable position.Iwon’t do that again, andIwon’t let her try to apologize for how she feels.”
