Page 32 of A Conduit of Light
“Whydid we leave so early then?Ittook just a little more than an hour to get here.”Ashfolded her legs and adjusted her skirts, pulling her cloak tighter around herself, gazing out at the grove of trees.
Theshape of how they grew was odd, and if she could fly above their tops, she was sure she’d see a spiral, winding around to a point in the middle.Theywere growing in a sort of bowl in the clearing, the edges of which were slanting downward and covered in tall grass like the place they sat together now.
“Honestly,Ash,Iwasn’t sure how steady you would be in the forest off the beaten path.”Heturned to her, leaning back on his hands, legs splayed out in front of him. “Iknow you come from the biggest city on the isle and probably haven’t spent as much time navigating thicker underbrush.Also, you got lost today, soIfigured we might need extra time.”Hegrinned sheepishly at her.
Flushedand ready to defend her trekking skills, she laughed instead.
Shelet herself laugh.
Hehad the forethought to add time to their late night outing just to ease her journey of it.Ofcourse, he was wrong.Shehad spent much of her childhood with thePrinceoutside of the city walls, getting lost in the grassy hills and running along the sandy shores, climbing the great rocks there, toning her body, growing strong and lithe.
“Thatwas kind of you.It’snot necessary to have concern for me out in the wilderness, butIcan see why you would.Ispent many days of my childhood outside ofHyrithia’swalls, getting into all sorts of trouble and also finding my way out of it.”
Hepaused before admitting, “You’renot like…likeIthought you would be.”Hefurrowed his brows and turned his body toward hers, laying on his side and holding his head up on his hand.
“Oh?Andis that a shame?”Ashgrinned wickedly down at him, turning her body toward his.
“Justthe opposite, actually.I’mmore relieved thatIwas wrong.Iworried, after you came here, that having lived with royalty your whole life, you might be entitled, rude, and selfish—unwilling to get your hands dirty and do what we brought you here to do.”
Ashsmiled genuinely, understanding the assumptions people had about royalty.
“Well,” he added, “Iguess you were a little rude to me, but that’s understandable considering what you were forced into.”
Herheart hammered in her chest.Hisvalidation of her resistance in coming here was one she had only given herself.
Noone had yet given it to her.
Shesensed the dull pang of longing for home creep into her thoughts.Againshe worried she had betrayed her past in accepting her future.Howcould she leave the one place she was loved and needed, only to find herself happy in another?
Becauseshewashappy here.
Sheknew it, no matter how often she struggled to admit the words in her own mind.Shehad decided to stay.Andstaying meant leaving her past inHyrithiabehind.Thatwas something she was not sure she could yet do.Shegazed into the night for some time, their silence easy to adjust to.
“Whatare you thinking about?Yougo somewhere else when you’re thinking hard.”Hepulled at a loose thread on the blanket.
“DoI?Iguess it feels like that sometimes.”Shesighed and laid herself down, mirroring his propped hand. “I’msorry.I…this…”Sheexhaled sharply and laid on her stomach, holding her hands over her face, debating whether to express her internal conflicts aloud. “It’snot easy.Iguess that’s obvious.Iloved my life inHyrithia.Ihad a placeIbelonged, and knowingIwas one of the lucky orphans only made me appreciate it more.Mymother is dead.Myfather is likely too, andIcould have been tossed into the orphanage, but theQueentook me in as her ward andIwill forever be grateful for that.Sheraised me alongside her son andIgot to live a comfortable life.”Sheshook her head. “ButIfeel sodifferentinFelgren.Thisplace…it just has a hold on my heart.Likethe piece of meInever knew was here the whole time.Andnow,Icannot imagine living without it.”Shelaughed and peeked out from her hands. “Doesthat make any sense at all?”
“Yes.”Hisvoice was raspy and he swallowed hard, nodding in assurance of himself or her, she couldn’t tell.
“Whatabout you?Careto share any of your own inner turmoil under the moon near midnight?”
Hisgaze on her was brilliant in the soft glow, and he stared at her that way for some moments. “I’mnot sure you’d be interested in my inner turmoil, butIdo understand how you feel aboutFelgren.Iexperienced something similar whenIarrived.Itwas a sort of calmIhad never known until then.I’mso grateful toBaronHeimlenfor choosing me.Forbringing me to this place and acting as my mentor, giving me the opportunity to beBaron.”Hesighed heavily and laid back, rubbing his face. “It’sa lot.Thepressure of becoming aBaronis more draining thanIexpected.ButIknowIcan be a good one.There’sso muchmoreIwant to do.Wecan train more channelers, help more people.Wecan work with theQueenofHyrithia, theLadyof theSpire, and theMadameof theMountains.Apart ofFelgrenis sick, but we can cure that.Wecan make it stronger than ever.”Hesmiled up at her then. “Allthree of us can.”
Shenodded, enchanted by his words, his smile, his kindness—all of it.Shemoved her hand forward to brush a dark wave from his eyes and hesitated.Frightenedof her own feelings, she quickly took her hand back, unsure if she should touch him, unable to tell with certainty that he was feeling the same.
Hecaught her hand before she could tuck it under her, determined to sit on it the rest of the night.
“Look.”Hesat up, pulling her with him, and she struggled not to focus on her body’s welcome to his touch.Heentwined his fingers with hers as a glowing ball of light floated lazily toward them.Itwas lit low, like the dying flame of a candle burned too long as it fluttered onto their clasped hands.
Whenher eyes adjusted, she saw a glowing white moth, the size of her palm, its fuzzy head searching their hands for a taste of something sweet.Ashsmiled brightly in an intake of breath.
“It’sa nitor moth.Itmeans ‘glow’ in the language of magic.Seehow its tiny scales are illuminated?Eachone acts,” he murmured, raising his other hand to brush her hair from her lips, “as a conduit of light.”
Themoth flew from their hands, andAshwatched in glee as it illuminated the world around it, heading for the copse of trees.
Hecupped her chin, his hand warm and caressing as he silently turned her face to look behind them.
Shegasped at the sea of illuminated wings fluttering gently in the night air, low to the ground and passing their blanket in a languid daze, silent over the tall grass.Hereyes followed the swarm of light as the hundreds of moths joined together and began their dance around the spiral of trees, flying in purposeful patterns up and down the branches, synchronized in their efforts.
